FREE Gay Book Excerpt: Gayest Palm Springs Thanksgiving
I've posted another free excerpt from my newest book, Gayest Palm Springs Thanksgiving with the In-laws, below, and here's the blurb and a link to Amazon. It's a book about how a dad reacts to his gay son's future husband. Even though the dad is totally OK with his son being gay, he's not too thrilled with his son's fiance.
Earl Bradshaw's first impression of his gay son's fiance leaves Earl wondering where he went wrong. The fiance, Gabriel, is pushy, scruffy, overbearing, and he refers to Earl as "dad" without even asking for permission. Earl has a feeling deep in his gut that Gabriel is lying about something. So when the entire family travels to Palm Springs for Thanksgiving, Earl makes a point of finding out what Gabriel is hiding.
Abby Bradshaw, Earl's wife, instantly falls in love with Gabriel's charm and sexy good looks, and she starts treating him as if he's her own son. Abby not only wants to support her gay son's marriage, but she genuinely adores her future son-in-law in spite of Earl's suspicions.
Baldwin Bradshaw, Earl and Abby's gay son, is so blissfully in love with Gabriel he can't see any of his flaws. The only thing Baldwin wants to do is introduce his family to the man he loves and live happily ever after.
But nothing in life is ever perfect, and Baldwin soon finds out that his happily ever after dream might not come true after all. And when a few of these realities finally sink in, nothing about Baldwin's future is secure. The only thing that can save Baldwin and Gabriel is love through strength, and it's not going to happen without a few tears along the way.
Beards That Contain Fecal Matter
If you like men with beards, this might sway your opinion a little.
This just in: An alarming new study has found that 47% of beards contain fecal matter, even when washed on the same day.
The study was conducted by Fragrance Direct and Manchester Metropolitan University and looked at a variety of beards, including long beards, short beards, goatees, and stubble.
Here's more. They advise men to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom. Because apparently these men have to be told.
Gay Couple Denied Marriage License In New York
Just when you thought it was over, you read something like this.
Thomas Hurd and Dylan Toften from Root, New York, went to the local county courthouse expecting to walk away with a marriage license. County clerk Laurel Eriksen, however, turned them away.
Here's the rest. Clearly, there's more to the story involving the clerks religious beliefs. And Governor Cuomo is launching an investigation.
Grindr Is Kindr
I know nothing about dating apps so this is all news to me.
Before dinner, Gabriel suggested it would be fun to take the entire family on a tour of the house. Baldwin had never seen the entire house himself so he thought it would be harmless, and it might be something that would take the stunned expressions off his mom and dad's faces. Baldwin had never seen them stare and gape with such wide eyes, which also made him wonder what they were saying about Gabriel when they were alone.
This was also the first time Baldwin had ever seen the conservative side of this dad. Earl would usually go out of his way to let people know how tolerant he was and how liberal he leaned on all social issues. Abby had never been a prude either. She'd marched in protests, worn funny looking pink hats, and she considered herself a feminist. This confused Baldwin slightly, because now that his mom and dad were faced with someone as free-spirited and open as Gabriel they didn't seem to be handling it well. It was almost as if Earl in particular was looking for something specifically wrong with Gabriel so that he could pack up the family and go back home before Thanksgiving even started.
After Baldwin showered and changed his clothes so that he wouldn't look as if Gabriel had just ***** him upside down on the coffee table, he found everyone in the living room of the main house gaping wide-eyed at Gabriel as he explained a huge abstract painting over the fireplace. While Gabriel pointed out the colors and the technique the famous artist had used to create an abstract gang bang, Earl stood there gaping at what Gabriel was wearing.
When Gabriel saw Baldwin enter the room, he stopped talking and sent him a huge smile. "Hey, baby. There you are. I was just telling your folks about what this painting represents."
Earl spoke in a deadpan tone. "Yes, Baldwin. He told us it's an abstract painting of a gang bang. I assume that's like an orgy, although I’m not quite certain."
Gabriel interrupted him. "It's not just a gang bang, Earl. It's the ultimate gang bang of all time. It's gender neutral, it's sexually fluid, and it encompasses everything positive about getting gang banged. It's considered this artist's greatest work to date, and the best gang bang ever."
Abby pressed her fingers to her lips and leaned forward to get a closer look at the painting. "Well, isn't that interesting."
Harold squinted at the painting and said, "It doesn't look like a gang bang to me. It looks like squares and circles and triangles."
"You have to keep staring at it to grasp the full meaning and to get the entire gang bang experience," Gabriel said. "It's an abstract interpretation."
Baldwin wasn't concentrating on the painting. He seemed more concerned about the way Gabriel was dressed. He was naked except for the sheer white cotton shorts he'd worn the other night when he'd accidentally sent the text of his penis. Although the shorts covered his private parts completely, they were so sheer no one could mistake the outline of his penis and Baldwin knew they were all trying hard to not stare in his direction. The fact that he was wearing ankle boots with a six inch stiletto heel didn't help either.
So Baldwin smiled at Gabriel and said, "I'll get you a jacket in the hall closet, sweetie. You don't want to get cold. It’s chilly with the air conditioning."
"No thanks," Gabriel said. "I'm good." He smiled at Earl, Abby, and Harold. "Normally I don't even wear shorts. We're a clothing optional house here, but Baldwin thought it would be better if I kept my pants on this week while you're here."
Abby's head jerked back. "Clothing optional?"
"Sure," Gabriel said. "We don't believe in the hypocrisy of clothing here in this house. We always walk around nude." He smiled at Baldwin." Isn't that right?"
Baldwin smiled and said, "Yes, but this week we're all going to keep our clothes on."
"Unless you guys want to go nude," Gabriel said. "I encourage it, Abby. No one is going to judge you around here. Earl, you can go nude, too."
"Well," Abby said. Baldwin knew she’d never been exposed to a clothing optional atmosphere and she appeared to be a little flabbergasted.
Then Earl said, "I think we'll risk being called hypocrites and keep our clothes on anyway."
Abby put her arm around Harold's shoulder. "Yes, Harold is only a boy, so that's a factor."
Earl glanced down at the high heeled boots Gabriel was wearing and asked, "I'm curious. Do you always walk around in high heels that way?"
Gabriel shook his head fast and said, "No way, man. These aren't even mine. They're Baldwin's high heels. I just put them on to make Harold feel more comfortable about the gender neutral play he's going to be in at school. Baldwin told me all about it and I think it's fantastic. In fact, I think our entire society is headed toward more things gender neutral. And it's about time. Men and women have been so restricted in their respective roles for so many years, it's time to lighten up a little and take the pressure away. Just let people be who they want to be, not who they are supposed to be."
Abby nodded and said, "Well, I have to agree with you there, Gabriel."
Earl blinked at her. "You do?"
"Yes, I do," she said, squaring her shoulders as if she were challenging him.
Baldwin let the remark about the high heels go without an explanation. They were his boots, and he had several other pairs of high heels like them. He didn't wear them around the house and he wasn't concentrating on being gender neutral. He only wore them because Gabriel had a high heel fetish and he loved having sex with Baldwin while Baldwin was wearing the high heels. But Baldwin did not go into detail about this because he was not the kind of guy who would discuss his sex life with anyone, let alone his family.
"I think what Harold is doing is the coolest thing I've heard in a long time," Gabriel said.
"You do?" Harold said, smiling so wide they could see his teeth.
"You're damn right I do, man," Gabriel said. "The youth is the future of our country, and kids like you are doing some fantastic things. And I'm going to help you as much as I can while you're here. I'm taking you to a shop in Palm Springs that's strictly focused on gender neutral clothing. And we're going to get your entire wardrobe for this play perfect."
Harold rubbed his palms together. "Excellent."
"You'd better check it out with your school, first," Earl said. "You don't want to do anything that will get you in trouble."
"It's good, dad," Harold said. "The director is encouraging us to get our costumes together so that we can interpret them as we see them. We have no restrictions."
Gabriel walked over to Harold, put his arm around him, and led him out to the main hall where he continued his tour of the house. Earl and Abby followed them, as if the circus had come to town and they weren't sure what they'd see next, and for the next hour Gabriel explained every important piece of art in the house in such detail he sounded more like a museum curator than an employee. While Gabriel explained everything, Baldwin grabbed a jacket from the hall closet long enough to cover Gabriel's dick, and then he slipped it over his shoulders. Gabriel didn't stop talking once. From the smallest Picasso to a large stone sculpture of a clitoris, Gabriel went into detail about what each piece represented. He showed them each room in the house except his boss’s master suite, each example of important mid-century modern furniture, and he explained how they'd tried hard to preserve the original architecture as much as they could.
When he explained how important it had been to keep the original marble floors, Earl glanced down and said, "You sure do know a lot about your boss's house, Gabriel. Is that part of your job?"
Baldwin sent Gabriel a look, as if curious to see how he'd reply. He'd never asked Gabriel much about his work or his mysterious boss.
Gabriel smiled and nodded. "My job is to oversee everything here, from the least important e-mail to the flowers on the table in the front hall. And I was part of the renovation from the beginning to the end, so I know every last detail about this house."
Earl rubbed his jaw and said, "That's interesting. You're a very devoted employee. In fact, I've never seen an employee with so much devotion."
Before Gabriel had a chance to reply, a tall attractive naked man crossed into the hall and walked right up to them without giving it a second thought. "Is it okay if we all head out early today, Gabriel? There's not much to do because everything is shutting down for Thanksgiving weekend."
Abby looked up at the ceiling.
Earl covered Harold's eyes with his hand.
Gabriel smiled at the naked guy and said, "Sure, no problem," and then he turned around to face Earl and said, "You see what I mean, dad. It's all clothing optional around here. No big deal."
While Gabriel introduced everyone to the naked guy as Brian, his own personal assistant, Abby continued to look up at the ceiling as if she was terrified to look down between the naked young man's legs. Earl hesitated before he shook the guy's hand, and Harold didn't seem overly enthusiastic about him at all. Baldwin had met Brian a few times in passing, but Baldwin never went into this part of the house often because this was where the offices were located and he didn't want to interfere with their business. Gabriel had mentioned that Brian was second in command around the house.
Brian nodded at Gabriel and said, "Thanks, boss. I'll see you over the weekend." Then he smiled at everyone else and said, "It was very nice meeting you all. I hope you enjoy Palm Springs, and if you need anything don't hesitate to let me know. I’ll be around the house all weekend."
Gabriel smiled. “There’s a sleeping quarters for all the employees in case they want to stay over.”
"Well isn't that nice," Abby said. "You're a sweet boy, Brian. Isn't he a sweet boy, Earl?"
Earl gulped. "Yes. He's very sweet."
"Remind everyone they’re welcome to join us on Thanksgiving Day for dinner,” Gabriel said.
Brian turned and sent him a backhanded wave. "Sure thing, boss. Cute shoes."
Gabriel laughed. "You can borrow them any time you like."
As Brian entered the offices through a frosted glass door, Earl pointed and asked, "Is that where all the business offices are located?"
Gabriel nodded. "Yes. Everything functions in there. It takes up the entire south wing of the house."