MensUnderWearStore.Com; New Hope Mayor No Gay Marriage; 2004 Marriage License Legal in NM

MensUnderWearStore.Com

I get interesting e-mails all the time from companies all over the world. Some I even like posting about with permission from the companies that send these e-mails. In this case I'm talking about mensunderwearstore.com, where they carry a line of underwear that's different from other places I've seen. The prices are not bad at all, and I own a few pairs myself.

From my inbox:

The MensUnderwearStore.com team of photo experts recently shot Ryan Bertroche on location in St. Louis, MO. A native of Iowa, Ryan broke a sweat and kept things sizzling with his looks that resemble a young Kurt Russell. In addition to modeling the new Calvin Klein Athletic collection, Ryan also wore items from the Under Denim, Dry Touch and Fresh & Bright collections from Diesel.

 Here are a few of Ryan's tasteful photos:







New Hope Mayor No Gay Marriage

In order to give you a better perspective about what's been going on in New Hope, where I live, located in southeastern, PA where same sex marriage is still illegal in spite of the SCOTUS ruling, here are a few more links, below. For those who don't know, Tony and I owned an art gallery in New Hope for ten years, and we've lived three miles away from downtown New Hope for over eleven years. Before that, we lived two miles from downtown New Hope in a town house community surrounded with gay neighbors. We've been together for twenty-one years and Tony is a lifelong native of Bucks County, PA. We didn't just move here to live near cookie cutter developments because they look nice. We didn't just move here because the schools are good. We live here because of the fact that there is a large LGBT community. What prompted that move happened while we were living in a more mainstream community about eight miles away, where an eight year old boy living next door to us asked his dad, "Why don't we get Christmas decorations like the two fags next door." We decided that neighborhood wasn't for us.  

This one talks about how Mayor Keller is getting "heat."

New Hope has long been known as one of the most gay-friendly towns in the region, a place where rainbow flags flutter in front of boutique shops and the borough council began passing gay-rights resolutions about a decade ago, well before the recent surge nationwide.

This one is from a a web site called American Family Focus on PA Issues. They are applauding the Mayor of New Hope for refusing to marry gay couples in spite of what most legal experts claim are limited risks to him and to the town of New Hope.

Mayor Keller said that as an elected officials it was his duty to uphold the law. The AFA of PA applauds Mayor Keller’s decision to uphold the law. Even the Borough Council of State College advised their mayor, who had previously said she would perform same-sex “marriages, not to break the law.

As a side note, I don't think Mayor Keller is actually taking sides on the issue, or that he's in any way associated with American Family Focus on PA Issues. As far as I know, and from what I've read, Mayor Keller supports gay marriage. He just isn't willing to take the legal risks that may or may not be involved with marrying gay couples illegally. But I don't think he gets points for just being for gay marriage, not as a community leader, an elected official, and someone the rest of us all look to for guidance and support. The bright, outspoken woman running against Keller this fall claims she will marry gay couples in spite of any risks involved.

2004 Marriage License Legal in NM

Unlike New Hope, PA, where I live, there have been interesting steps taken this week with regard to same sex marriage. Unlike New Hope, where the mayor of a large LGBT population has decided not to marry gay couples because he's unwilling to take the legal risks involved and is more focused on what may or may not happen if he does, the Attorney Gen. in New Mexico claims that same sex marriage licenses issued in 2004 will remain valid and legal for now.The term he used was "presumptively valid."

King delivered the non-binding advice in a letter to the current Sandoval County clerk, who found that some of the 2004 licenses recorded in the clerk’s office were labeled as void or invalid.

King said a county clerk is responsible for issuing marriage licenses but “New Mexico law plainly does not provide county clerks with the rights to invalidate marriages.”

There's always a loophole.

Authors Behaving Badly: New Hope Gay Marriage Saga

Authors Behaving Badly

In the past few years we've heard a great deal about authors behaving badly. There's even an acronym...BBA...badly behaving author. But this following list mentions a few alleged BBAs who aren't new authors, or even self-published authors, and I found the comments fascinating.

Here are just a few names mentioned. There are fourteen mentioned altogether, twelve of which are showcased in detail.

Jonathan Franzen:

While we love Franzen's work, he doesn't seem to be the friendliest guy in town. First, he insulted Oprah. Who insults Oprah?! When Oprah wanted to make "The Corrections" one of her book club picks, Franzen was insulted. He notes, “I think she was surprised that I wasn’t moaning with shock and pleasure." Um, why wouldn't you be? Oprah is about to make you rich. Jonathan Franzen thinks he's too good to have suburban housewives reading his books. To make matters worse, he wrote that horrible piece about Edith Wharton in the New Yorker that basically talked about how she hated other women because she was so ugly, so she only created tragic beautiful female characters. Yeah, Jonathan. We're sure that was the reason. Just totally undermine the first female author to win a Pulitzer for her fiction. Good job.

I've loved everything Franzen has ever written. But I do marvel at his luck sometimes. And while I do believe that we create our own luck for the most part, I also think there's something working in the metaphysical background for some people that most of us can't figure out. It's not every author who can write one book with bad sex scenes and annoying characters every ten years and make millions.

James Franco:

James Franco likes to call himself a part of the literary community, but unfortunately for him, they don't really seem to want him (in fact, it might be a stretch to call him a "famous author" in the first place. He's more "famous" and, in addition, an "author"). The LA Times recently ran a post called Will James Franco Please Stop? However, Franco insists that his undertaking so many artistic projects and trying to look like a renaissance man does not, in fact, make him a jerk. He told E! "If anyone wants to say that my doing these things makes me a jerk, that's not about me—that's about people reacting to me." We see both sides of this coin. However, we think it'd be one thing if writing poetry and novels was just a hobby of Franco's and he wasn't pursuing getting them all published. That's just obnoxious.

This one is tricky for me. Franco has done so many things I admire I just don't get him being called a BBA. In 2006 James Franco went to UCLA to get his degree. He took 62 credits a quarter, where the normal load is about 18 or 19. And for some that's even pushing it. He received his degree in 2008, and he never stopped acting during his time in school. He wrote his thesis under Mona Simpson, an author I've mentioned here before (she was Steve Jobs' sister, who didn't meet Jobs until many years later because Jobs had been put up for adoption...and she also wrote one of my favorite novels of all time, Anywhere But Here). And this is only a partial list of James Franco's credits. So I personally don't find him anything but inspirational. And I think calling him a BBA is really reaching too far.

As a side note, the author of this article made a few fundamental mistakes, which are all updated at the bottom of the post. I couldn't actually find a byline anywhere. You can read more here.

New Hope Gay Marriage Saga

I've been following the story of gay marriage and the Mayor of New Hope, PA, where I live, and it continues to devolve. I posted about this early last week. The gist of all this is that Mayor Keller of New Hope believes it's more important to follow the law than it is to question ethics and inequality. And even though a clerk in Montgomery County, PA, a few miles away from New Hope, has been issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples illegally, Mayor Keller refuses to honor those licenses and he refuses to perform same sex marriage ceremonies in New Hope because same sex marriage in Pennsylvania is illegal. Most legal analysts claim there is limited risk if Keller were to perform same sex marriages, and right now a judge is about to rule on what the clerk in Montgomery County did.

In any event, this was a recent article I read in a local newspaper about Keller.

On one side is the four-term Republican incumbent, Larry Keller, who supports legalization of same-sex marriage and recently declined to perform a wedding ceremony for a gay couple, citing Pennsylvania law, his oath of office and the legal advice of the borough's solicitor.

On the other side is the Democrat challenger, Donna Deely, who had said she would, if elected, perform such ceremonies and now says she would respect the decision of the state court system, whatever that might be.

At the end of the article, a very clever little small town journalist adds this:

A recent poll by Franklin and Marshall College found that 76 percent of respondents disapprove of elected officials ignoring laws with which they disagree.

The journalist must have looked for ages to find that piece of information. And, there is no mention of the types of laws. In other words, Keller is upholding a law that's not only unethical, but it is as steeped in US history as segregation laws and slavery laws. In other words, if there were a law in PA that stated people of African descent could not use the same water fountains or public bathrooms that white people use, would Mayor Keller be a hero for upholding that law?

I have the highest respect for the law. We need laws and we need to follow laws. But every so often a law comes along that needs to be challenged, and in this case it's same sex marriage. What is going to be most interesting out of all of this is whether or not Keller is relected this fall. New Hope has a large gay community, but it's not all gay. And if Keller is relected it's going to speak loudly about where the straight community in New Hope stands on the issue of same sex marriage. Because it's one thing to say you support same sex marriage, but it's a completely different issue to actually support it.

Here's a letter to the editor from one local paper.

New Hope Mayor Keller brought disappointment and sadness to me this week. My life is peppered with many amazing and happy times in New Hope. I shake my head. One of the friendliest places to gay people in Pennsylvania has a mayor who refused to marry a gay couple. Amazing!

Why would someone support a law that is obviously unethical? I remember my father telling me the Army (he served in the Korean War) gave a soldier the option to not follow an order if the soldier felt the command was unethical and/or immoral. If Mayor Keller is for gay rights, then why would he morally or ethically uphold the current marriage law?

As a local official, Mayor Keller should call Gov. Corbett and ask him to stand down and bring down the state marriage law. He should be an advocate for gay rights and not against gay rights.

I was married in New York in July the week of the Supreme Court DOMA decision. My wish was to marry among my family and friends in Pennsylvania, but I could not. Mayor Keller of New Hope was given the chance to stand up for equality and change. He sat down and supported the current law. Amazing!

Now this is an interesting spin. In the same article I linked to above, this is mentioned.

Keller said he is one of about 350 mayors nationwide who have signed a letter by Mayors for the Freedom to Marry, and this week sent a letter to Governor Tom Corbett that said although he always will uphold his oath, " ... in my heart, I strongly believe same-sex marriage should be legal."

And this is how the New Hope Council responded. It's an online version of the newspaper, and I couldn't find another link. But I wanted to add the link becuase I know several of the people on the list are openly gay, and in long term relationships. One I've met at parties and she and her partner recently married on Cape Cod this summer, in Provincetown. In other words, she's legally married in MA, but not in New Hope, where she selflessly gives her time to work for the town of New Hope as a council member.

The following members of the New Hope Burough Council want the public to know that we support marriage equality and will do all in our power to put pressure on our state senator, state representatives, and Gov. Corbett to change the biased unconstitutional law banning same sex marriage. We are proud members of a town that supports diversity and equal rights for all. We will not stop our pro-active role until Pennsylvania supports marriage equality.

 

 

Almost Gay Guys; New Hope Mayor No Gay Marriage for ME

Almost Gay Guys

When I read the article to which I'm linking, I had to admit it was the first time I'd really ever seen anything like this spoken about so openly. It deals with men who are mostly straight, but sometimes almost gay, and stuck somewhere in between bi and gay. I know that sounds complicated, but there is validity here. The focus of the article is a young man named Dillon who is interested in women and sometimes men, but is not actually gay, straight, or bisexual.

By his own admission, Dillon says he resides in the “Sexual Netherlands” (his words), a place that exists between heterosexuality and bisexuality. In previous generations, such individuals might have been described as “straight but not narrow,” “bending a little,” and “heteroflexible.”

Dillon is part of a growing trend of young men who are secure in their heterosexuality and yet remain aware of their potential to experience far more—sexual attractions, sexual interactions, crushes, and, occasionally romantic relationships with other guys. Dillon lives these contradictions—seemingly hetero guys who now reject that label, sexual description, and identity.

Although I'm no expert on this topic by any means, I will admit that I've run across guys like Dillon before when I was single. (Actually, I still run into them, especially at weddings for some reason.) I once dated a marine who was very open about his sexuality with me, and he told me up front he was mostly straight. I dated a semi-pro baseball player...I was eighteen he was thirty...and he basically explained his situation as being almost gay, but only sometimes. I know that sounds odd to some people, but they were very nice guys and I found them very simple and easy to be with. In fact, in most cases they were easier to be with than out, openly gay men. Many who have read my novels will notice that I sometimes have characters in my books with men who are like this, and many of those characters were loosely based on my own personal experiences.

The article goes even deeper and it's a very interesting read for those who haven't heard about men like this before. The one part I didn't buy totally was that these guys care more about romance than sex. That was never something I experienced. These guys care about sex. It's not that they aren't romantic at all, but I've never seen that as the main focus. The one thing I can say is that they've always been cool and honest about it, which was actually kind of romantic itself. And these guys can be very adorable under the right conditions.

You can read more here.

New Hope Mayor No Gay Marriage for ME

When I read this article late last night, I can't say I was totally shocked. I know many people are because New Hope, PA, (where I live) is such an openly gay friendly tourist town, and has been for many years. We even have our own Gay Pride Festival in May. We have more gay owned establishments than I can count. At one time, we had more gay nightclubs than I can count. New Hope has always been a small gay mecca, like Provincetown, MA. Without apology, it's the reason Tony and I live here.

But I have seen more than a few interesting things living here. There was once a very wealthy woman who owned property and several high end businesses in town. She lived with another woman and we all knew she was a lesbian. But she never came out, and never openly supported the gay community in New Hope. The mayor of New Hope right now, Larry Keller, the one who refuses to perform gay marriages, is middle-aged and has been a confirmed "bachelor" as far as I know all his life. So when I read that this particular mayor will not perform gay marriages for legal reasons, no one had to bring my smelling salts.

In any event, this is what's happening:

Amid the typical discussions about zoning and amplified music at this week’s borough council meeting in New Hope was mention of an Aug. 16 letter from Mayor Larry Keller to council in which he explained the reasons for his declining the recent request “by two gentlemen to officiate their wedding.”

The letter went on to say, “As part of the official duties of the office of the elected mayor of New Hope Borough, I am permitted by law to solemnize marriages between persons who produce a marriage license issued by any County Clerk of Orphans’ Court. This authorization is not mandatory. A Mayor is not obligated to officiate any wedding.

To backtrack a little, I recently posted about how they are issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples in Montgomery County, PA, which is only a few miles away from New Hope.

Even though same sex marriage is still not legal in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, Montgomery County in PA issued marriage licenses to same sex couples today in defiance of the ban on same sex marriage. Tony and I live in Bucks County, PA, which is only a few miles from where the marriage licenses were issued, and it's s significant move for those who issued the licenses and those who obtained them.

The key words above are defiance and ban. It's obvious that in Montgomery County they are intentionally challenging the law in order to push things forward. Pennsylvania is the only mid-Atlantic state that doesn't even have civil unions for same sex couples. And we're tired of it.

What I found most refreshing about the article dealing with New Hope Mayor Keller was this:

Donna Deely, the Democratic contender for Republican Keller’s job in an election scheduled for this November, took it a step further: “If I am elected mayor I will officiate same-sex weddings. I think the risk there is minimal, and it’s the right thing to do, not only because it reflects the current prevailing legal winds and the country is moving in that direction, but also given New Hope’s rich tradition of acceptance. That’s why we chose to live here, and in my heart of hearts, I think it’s the fair and just thing to do.”

Even though there are legalities involved here, sometimes it's important to be on the right side of history in order to make a change. There was a time when people of African descent were not allowed to use the same bathrooms and water fountains as white people. Clearly, Mayor Keller doesn't believe the issue of gay marriage is important enough to take a stand and challenge. And this is in spite of the fact that his business has been supported by the gay dollar for many years, as well as his political ambitions. The most interesting thing here is that Keller is a Republican, and gays here have supported him in spite of that, too.

Now, Mayor Keller does have a history of issues regarding marriage.

Keller’s reluctance to engage in activity that may draw litigation seems to be founded in personal experience: he was questioned some years ago during a politically-charged environment about the propriety of the charitable donation of marriage fees he had collected, a charge he defended “at great personal cost.” Keller said he sought the advice of Borough Solicitor T.J. Walsh in this marriage request, who said “You don’t want to touch this. If he [Hanes] did something they said is illegal, you are going to be an accessory to an illegality.”

I can't find any links to that controversy now, but I do remember it. The issue eventually died down and no one heard a word about it again. However, it's important to note that marrying people is not unusual for mayors, and New Hope is also a destination for many straight couples to get married. Famed author and cook Julia Child and her husband were actually married in Lumberville, a few miles away from New Hope, many years ago. And Mayor Keller has performed marriages for straight couples.

Many are disagreeing with Keller's decision, including attorneys:

David S. Cohen, associate professor of law at Drexel University’s Earle Mack School of Law disagreed. “There is no clear decision from any binding court in Pennsylvania or the Federal court about the state’s marriage law, but officials like Attorney General Kathleen Kane and Montgomery County Clerk Hanes both have decided that the marriage law is unconstitutional. As a law professor and one of the attorneys representing same-sex couples in Montgomery County, I agree wholeheartedly,” said Cohen.

“If the mayor doesn’t want to go along with what the Attorney General and Montgomery County Clerk are doing, he will find himself on wrong side of history,” added Cohen.

Sometimes that's what it all comes down to in the end. And I think it will be interesting to see if Keller holds his ground with this, and, if he gets reelected this November.

Photo here.

The Disappointment in Mayor Keller of New Hope, PA

The Disappointment in Mayor Keller of New Hope, PA

For those who follow my posts, I've been linking to articles about the mayor of New Hope, PA, which is also my own mailing address. I live about three miles from downtown New Hope. It's a very small tourist town that I've written about before here. And recently there's been a kerfuffle over the fact that the mayor of New Hope, Larry Keller, has refused to marry gay couples because same-sex marriage is illegal in Pennsylvania, unlike New York, which is about one hour away by car. I thought I would elaborate on this one more time for my readers because it is something that is deeply rooted in civil rights and LGBT history.

You can imagine the reaction the mayor has received from those who are same-sex couples in New Hope.  In full disclosure, Mayor Keller has stated, though reluctantly, that he is supporting legal same-sex marriage in PA, however he's not willing to risk the legal ramifications that accompany marrying same-sex couples right now while it is still illegal in PA. The liberal Democrat Mayor of Philadelphia has also made the same decision, because he doesn't want to break the law by marrying same sex couples and promoting the concept of equal rights. And that really is what all this comes down to. It's a pragmatic decision for both mayors in both places to uphold the laws whether these laws promote inequality or not. The law is the law. Fire is hot. All this came about when a straight married clerk in Montgomery Count, PA, decided to challenge the law himself, all alone, and issue marriage licenses to same sex couples in PA because he wanted to go down on the right side of history. Several of those couples went to New Hope and Philadelphia with their marriage licenses and both mayors refused to recognize them on the basis that it was against the law.

All this has spawned a firestorm between locals in New Hope about whether the mayor is right or wrong...from social media to e-mails. It's recently become a fight between Democrats and Republicans, and it's been nasty to say the least. But what most people outside of New Hope don't know is the history behind the town, and values the town has always stood for. It's not a typical small town in Pennsylvania, which is why Tony and I, and so many other same-sex couples, decided to live here years ago. At one time, it was the only town outside of Philadelphia (and most of New Jersey) that actually had multiple gay bars where gay people could congregate and meet without being harassed. And even then I personally recall nights when straight men driving down the road would shout pejoratives to gay men as they crossed the parking lot from their cars to the gay bar. It happened to me on several occasions and the only thing to do was keep walking, look down, and don't stop until you got inside and took a deep breath.

The reason I opened my art gallery in New Hope and kept it for ten years back in the 1990's was because New Hope was such a diverse community and always so accepting of all people, not just LGBT people. My late landlord was a man named Johnny Francis, who entertained celebrities that ranged from Diana Ross to Jackie Kennedy, in the 1960's, because New Hope was a pit stop for the rich and famous who traveled between Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, and New York. It's always been a place where the arts were celebrated, from big Broadway musicals opening here to the New Hope School of art, now famous for its group of celebrated fine artists. I could link and continue, but I think most people get the point that New Hope is different than other small towns in very distinct ways.

We even started celebrating our own gay pride event about ten years ago, and then the New Hope Film festival began shortly after that. We entertain one of the largest antique auto shows in the country every August, where people from all over the country come and stay at guest houses and bed and breakfasts. It's not unusual to go out to dinner here on a Saturday night and wind up sitting next to a film, TV, or rock star. And part of that reason is because of the diversity, and the way that diversity has always been celebrated. Back in the earlier days, New Hope was a place where mixed race couples could walk down Main Street hand in hand and no one would look at them twice. My former landlord where I had the gallery was the first in town to welcome gays during the 1950's when no one else would dare to do that. He started the first drag shows in town, that brought even more people here on weekends. And always, the bottom line was diversity, equality, and absolute freedom to be who you are. And, this is all pre-Stonewall.

The Beat Generation was known to hang out in what used to called the Latin Quarter in New Hope. Alan Ginsberg lived here, and social activist Abbie Hoffman lived and died here in neighboring Solebury Township, PA, in 1989. So when the present Mayor of New Hope, Larry Keller, broke tradition and refused to marry same-sex couples recently, it wasn't like this was happening any old place. It was happening in a place known for breaking tradition and non-conformity. It was happening in a place that has always been known to stand up for equal rights no matter what the cost. And that literally floored people to the most basic core, especially all the same-sex couples who have lived here, supported New Hope, and paid taxes to New Hope all these years.

So this entire ordeal that has spawned such controversy as a result of Mayor Keller's decision, goes deeper than just following the law and being pragmatic. If there's a law that states someone can only sit in the back of the bus and not up front, sooner or later someone is going to come along and challenge that unfair law and take a chance. Rosa Parks went down on the right side of history for doing this, and she was willing to pay the price at the time. Throughout history there have been brave people who have been willing to challenge unfair laws and they did what they had to do. Rosa Parks was even willing to get arrested for what she believed in, and she's been dubbed the "First Lady of Civil Rights."

Rosa Louise McCauley Parks (February 4, 1913 – October 24, 2005) was an African-American civil rights activist, whom the U.S. Congress called "the first lady of civil rights" and "the mother of the freedom movement".^[1] Her birthday, February 4, and the day she was arrested, December 1, have both become Rosa Parks Day, commemorated in the U.S. states of California and Ohio.

It's very hard to believe now that a human being in the United States of America could actually get arrested for refusing to move to the back of the bus, but that's how it was back then...until someone had the courage to challenge the rule and stand up for equality. And in refusing to marry same sex couples in New Hope, and in refusing the challenge the law that makes same-sex marriage illegal in PA, Mayor Keller broke tradition in New Hope and disappointed many people beyond repair. He sided with not only an unfair law, but also the wrong side of history. You can twist it, spin it, and turn it in any direction you want, but he chose the law, and it's a law that discriminates. Because I believe that one day, fifty or sixty years from now, someone else will be writing something about inequality and referring to a time when same-sex marriage was illegal and finding that just as hard to believe as forcing good, decent human beings to the back of the bus.

It's so easy to forget the way others have stood up to unfair laws that discriminate. From Rosa Parks' own recollection:

When Parks refused to give up her seat, a police officer arrested her. As the officer took her away, she recalled that she asked, "Why do you push us around?" She remembered him saying, "I don't know, but the law's the law, and you're under arrest."^[23] She later said, "I only knew that, as I was being arrested, that it was the very last time that I would ever ride in humiliation of this kind.

According to Mayor Keller of New Hope, and Mayor Nutter of Philadelphia, the law is the law.

Chris Rice's The Dinner Party Show; Queen Elizabeth on Gay Marriage; Davey Wavey with Gay Seniors

Chris Rice's The Dinner Party Show

What drew me to this webcast by Christopher Rice was the dinner party theme. I'm not sure what it's like in other areas where there's a heavy concentration of LGBT people, but here in New Hope dinner parties are huge. Everybody has them, even single people. And we take them seriously, too. I know one gay couple who literally takes notes in the kitchen during a dinner party to see what guests are saying, and he keeps a long running dinner party journal (that I'd love to get my hands on) so he knows what was served, when it was served, and who was there. You never serve the same thing twice. And you always try to keep an even number of guests at the dinner table, which means having a few spare single friends around at all times.

Although these dinner parties aren't considered formal events here, there is a certain protocol to follow. Very rarely will you see anything served family style. It's always plated well and there are never less than three courses. We even use the best china (most of us have several sets) and it's worth your while to invest in crystal knife rests...because everyone has them. I love these dinner parties because everyone does things a little differently and you get to see how people entertain. I even love giving them, and I'm not one of those people who go tit for tat with my guest list.  I don't care who invited me last. I just like doing it because I get to catch up with people in a more intimate way.

Basically, it's fun and it's not as stuffy as you would imagine. The conversation at any given dinner party here in New Hope can range from the time Barbra Streisand came to town to the old movie legend, Odette Myrtle, who once lived and owned a business in New Hope. For a long time Sally Jesse Raphael owned a bed and breakfast near New Hope and I was friendly with her personal assistant. The stories he could tell.

And this is why I love Chris Rice's Dinner Party Show. It's comfortable and yet civilized, and you never know what to expect.

The Internet’s first LIVE comedy variety show. Join hosts New York Times bestselling novelists Christopher Rice and Eric Shaw Quinn for a weekly buffet of their deranged special correspondents and celebrity guests.

Here's the link where you can read more and set up a schedule to follow it. There are podcasts, too. I also think this will be the next wave in entertainment as television slowly begins to die out. Web TV is like e-books: it's a little too soon to dominate but it will be the future eventually.

Side note: I've always known Chris Rice as an LGBT writer and I've liked his books. He recently released a hetero erotic romance titled, The Surrender Gate. The info and links are here. 

Queen Elizabeth on Gay Marriage

I've posted more than once about Queen Elizabeth II and how she's supported gay marriage. I've also admitted to being a huge royalist even though I'm an American. And these latest comments from the Queen only reinforce my admiration.

This comes from recently married, Stephen Fry.

The Queen must remain politically neutral and has never spoken publicly about gay marriage, but according to sources who Fry describes as “well-founded,” her royal majesty is all for marriage equality.

“When the Queen signed the Royal Assent for the equal marriages act, allowing gay people to marry for the first time, she put it down and said ‘Well, who’d have thought 62 years ago when I came to the throne, I’d be signing something like this? Isn’t it wonderful?'”

Here's the rest of the piece.

Davey Wavey with Gay Seniors

No. Davey Wavey is not doing gay seniors now. It's not about his sex life with gay seniors. This is a nice video done by Davey Wavey about gay seniors. They talk candidly about their lives, the challenges they've faced, and they even have some advice for younger gay men. Tony and I have always been fortunate enough to have more than a few gay seniors in our lives. When we first started out we learned a great deal about gay relationships and how things work just by observing...advice we couldn't get from family at the time.

And, gay seniors always give the BEST dinner parties.

Vlogger Davey Wavey and the LGBT Community Center of the Desert have teamed up to make this heartwarming video jam-packed with pearls of wisdom from half a dozen or so older gay folks. Our only criticism of the video is that it lacks much ethnic diversity, but other than that, there’s nothing we don’t love about it.

You can watch the video here. 

The Rainbow Detective Agency

Amazon Link 

Kobo Link 

 

 

Gay Film "I Do;" Marriage; David W. Ross

We used to have a fantastic indie video store in New Hope that always had plenty of gay indie films that closed about four years ago, so when I spotted the gay film, "I Do," with David W. Ross on Verizon on demand last night I rented it without even looking at the previews.

And I wasn't disappointed this time. The basic plot revolves around a nice looking British guy, David W. Ross, who has been living and working in New York since he was seventeen years old. The only family he has left are his brother and sister-in-law. I'll stop there, because I don't want to give out any spoilers. But as the film progresses the British guy finds himself fighting the INS in order to remain in the US. He ultimately decides to marry his best lesbian friend in order to get a green card. Then when he least expects it, he falls in love with a guy he meets at a party...who happens to be a legal US citizen but is also from Spain.

The plot is actually much more complicated than what I'm stating now, and as I said I don't want to give out any spoilers. But the issue of gay marriage comes into play because the gay British guy falls in love with a guy he wants to marry, who happens to be a legal US citizen and a legal citizen of Spain, but he can't marry him because gay marriage is not legal in the US.

They mention gay marriage being legal in New York, and I think they did this on purpose. The fact that gay marriage is legal in the state of New York is absolutely worthless in this case, just as it is worthless in many other aspects in all states where gay marriage is legal. It's great on an emotional level, but when it comes down to the pragmatic issues in life we all face eventually it leaves gay couples with very little protection. Because the US government will not recognize a same sex marriage, the character in the film is unable to get a green card if he married a man he loved anywhere in the US. The key word here is federal.

This is just one reason why I say I'm happy but I'm not jumping up and down whenever gay marriage is passed on a state level. Until same sex marriage is legal on a federal level gay men like the guys in the film, "I Do," are still going to face the challenges of inequality on life changing levels. I actually know a couple in Florida where something exactly like this happened to them. They now reside in Germany.

In this film, even though I won't say what happens, the British guy is left with two options. He can remain in the US and marry a woman and pretend to love her so he can get his green card. Or he can leave the country, go to Spain with the man he loves, and live there where gay marriage is supposedly legal.

It's an interesting film to view, especially right now with SCOTUS ready to hand down rulings this week on same sex marriage. I have no idea what to predict at this point.

As a side note, David W. Ross is excellent in the film...he starred in it and he wrote it. And, this is a film about gay men, written by a gay man, starring a gay man for those who are interested in the details. I'll watch it again many times.

You can follow Ross on facebook, here.

David W. Ross is an English musician and actor. After moving to London at the age of 17 and seeking work as a film extra, his photo was spotted by Ian Levine, a boy band producer, and Ross was signed to A&M Records U.K., as one of the four members of Bad Boys Inc. The group released one self-titled album, which spawned five hit singles, including the Top 10 smash "More to This World".

Photo attribution here

Gay Marriage Illinois; Christian Filibuster in Hawaii on Gay Marriage

Gay Marriage Illinois

In a narrow vote in Illinois, gay marriage will now become legal. It's the 15th state so far, and more are working toward that goal. The opposition, Rep. Tom Morrison, stated "natural marriage" between a man and woman was the only way to go for him. Then he questioned why the state would care about these matters, and even went on to comment that "Real marriage is the building block of human civilization." I guess he hasn't realized yet that his cousin, son, daughter, nephew, niece, neighbor, or good friend could be gay.

The White House made this statement:

"As president, I have always believed that gay and lesbian Americans should be treated fairly and equally under the law. Over time, I also came to believe that same-sex couples should be able to get married like anyone else," he said in the statement. "So tonight, Michelle and I are overjoyed for all the committed couples in Illinois whose love will now be as legal as ours – and for their friends and family who have long wanted nothing more than to see their loved ones treated fairly and equally under the law."

As a side note, I think when history is told many years from now, Obama's handling of gay marriage will go down as clever. In a positive way. I don't think he's ever said or done anything by accident, and I think he was waiting for the shift in public opinion to recognize gays and gay marriage. Which seems to be happening according to all the polls. If Obama or any president had pushed the issue of gay marriage too hard, too fast, or too soon it could have been a huge disaster and we might not be seeing positive results like this right now.

You can read more here.

Christian Filibuster in Hawaii on Gay Marriage

While Illinois has been passing gay marriage, huge debates have been going on in Hawaii on the same topic. Over 5,000 conservative Christians have signed up to testify in opposition, each receiving two minutes to speak to a committee of thirty. They've allegedly been encouraged to waste time, and according to Zack Ford at Think Progress this is somewhat the equivalent of a "Citizen's Filibuster." There are a few interesting things going on behind the scenes, too, and these so-called Christians tend to play nasty and cheat a little when it comes to saving the world from anything LGBT related.

And according to emails sent out by the Hawaii Christian Coalition, religious leaders are encouraging their congregations to cheat the legislative system by offering testimony by proxy. Civil Beat obtained copies of the identical emails from the Hawaii Christian Coalition and from a senior pastor at New Hope Metro Church, explicitly instructing the faithful to provide false witness.

But even better, it's also been alleged these good ethical Christians are using a form of sockpuppetry to get what they want.  Allegedly, some of these good Christians are testifying more than once with sock names and bogus registration numbers. Evidently, they'll stoop to any level in order to save the world from all that is gay and evil, these good Christians.

You can read more here. I don't know much about the state of Hawaii other than what I've been told by friends who have been there. I know it's all hearsay, but everything I did hear came from gay people who said there wasn't much of a gay lifestyle there. I could be wrong about this. If I am, please feel free to comment.

It should be interesting to see how this turns out. If public opinion polls are correct, gay marriage will be passed in Hawaii eventually regardless of these religious fanatics and maybe then they'll see it's not the end of the world as they know it and they can focus on more spiritual issues and repent for the lies they've told and the way they've treated innocent people in the name of Christianity.

White Writers Get Away With It; No Gay Marriage in Philly; Yes Gay Marriage Braddock, PA

White Writers Get Away With It

Before I get into this, I think the title should be more like "White Straight Writers Get Away With It." But the focus of the article is how white writers seem to get a free pass when it comes to writing about minorities, and yet minority writers don't have the same freedom to write about the same topics. In this case, Asian American author, Bill Cheng, wrote a novel about rural black Mississippi and you should see how the readers have received it. Not what I would call a warm welcome.

Unfortunately, most reviewers and interviewers seem to care less about the quality of Cheng's writing than they do about the answers to these questions: Did the Chinese guy get it right? Can an authentic picture of the South come from a man of Asian descent who grew up in Queens?
 

Instead of addressing those questions directly, I would like to take a step back and look at the assumptions with which they're laden. In doing so, I can't help but recall the reception of another book I recently read, The Orphan Master's Son by Adam Johnson. If it sounds familiar, that's because it won the Pulitzer for fiction earlier this year.
 

In taking this another step forward, I've always found, from personal experience, the same brand of passive discrimination as an openly gay male writer. There's no issue at all about straight white women writing gay fiction. I've been a long time staunch supporter of straight white women writing gay fiction and I just released an anthology where straight white women are included in gay story lines. It's acceptable, it's encouraged, and many do it very well. However, if an openly gay male has a few gay books out and he wants to write something more mainstream, it's not going to be simple and he's most likely going to have to do it with a pen name.
 

There used to be more freedom, in an odd way, when gay writers were not open about being gay and were not known for writing gay fiction. They could write hetero novels like Breakfast at Tiffany's and they could get away with it...if the author conformed to what "they" wanted him to be. In Truman Capote's case it was the stereotypical effeminate gay man who never actually spoke about being gay openly. And now gay men who are openly gay and who are breaking the stereotypes are still facing more difficult odds in mainstream publishing. My posts about Matt Bomer, as an openly gay actor, have gone into detail about this. This quote came from a Matt Bomer FAN. Think Rock Husdon, and how he was accepted because of the way he kept his sexuality hidden all his life.
 

"Only problem for me is Bomer is gay and knowing that, not that I have anything against it, is that it's a turn off for me," one fan wrote. "I would know the whole time he's not really 'in the mood.' Sorry if that sounds mean, it's just about suspension of disbelief. I'm sure many fans who don't know this detail would find him perfect."
 

In fact, in a post written by a well respected straight white woman who writes M/M Romance it even goes so far as to state that she's never experienced any form of discrimination as a straight white woman writing m/m romance. Of course she totally overlooks the fact that she's a straight white women in the post. She doesn't question why she's always received a warm welcome from all reviewers, even those that are not exclusively gay review sites. I don't doubt this for a second. I'm not posting her name or linking to her because I don't want to single her out in any way.
 

But she's lucky to have been born straight and white. Fortunately for her, she'll never know what it's like to be a gay man and fully comprehend the same brand of passive discrimination I have had to deal with all of my life in the publishing industry, and many other gay male writers just like me. She'll never know what it's like to be Bill Cheng, an Asian American writing about rural black Mississippi and have reviewers question his abilities as a writer. She'll never know what it's like to be a gay literary agent who keeps his gay identity hidden from his staff, including his partner of forty years, so he's not labeled as "The Gay Literary Agent." She can quit writing gay romance tomorrow if she so chooses and write heteronormative romances and still get that warm welcome from the list of web sites she named in her post.
 

I don't have that option unless I change my name and identity. And I can't afford to be glib about it.
 

I personally applaud Bill Cheng for writing what he wanted to write, and I'm going to read his book very soon.

 
No Gay Marriage in Philly

It seems yet another mayor has refused to perform gay marriages in Pennsylvania, this time it's the liberal Democrat, Mayor Michael Nutter.

Mayor Nutter, a staunch supporter of marriage equality and gay rights, will not officiate at same-sex weddings until after court challenges to the legality and licensing of such marriages are resolved, his spokesman said Monday.

That decision was met with disappointment by a Philadelphia couple who recently asked the mayor to oversee their wedding after obtaining a marriage license in Montgomery County, which has been issuing licenses to same-sex couples - in defiance of state law - since late July.

In taking this stand, Nutter has now joined the ranks of Mayor Keller of New Hope, PA.

You can read more here about reactions around Philadelphia. And I think it should be noted that Mayor Nutter has always received support and money from most of the LGBT community throughout his terms. It's nice that he's a supporter of equal rights, and it's nice that he's supporting gay marriage as a concept. But when you get down to the bottom line, Nutter let a lot of people down this time.

As a side note, Philadelphia is also one of the most dangerous cities in the US, and Mayor Nutter has done very little to make it safe during his terms as mayor. 

Yes Gay Marriage Braddock, PA

I waned to post this article back to back with the one about Mayor Nutter of Philadelphia refusing to perform gay marriages because of the significance, and to show that it's not impossible to stand up for equal rights in America when it comes to unjust laws, and that there are a few politicians left with the courage of their convictions like John Fetterman of Braddock, PA, who is performing same sex marriage to challenge the law in PA.

A Pennsylvania law banning same-sex marriage is quickly losing its authority, as a growing number of state officials are choosing to openly defy the legislation rather than wait for the result of a federal court challenge.

 

Mayor John Fetterman of Braddock on Monday officiated the first same-sex marriage in Allegheny County, after the couple, John Kandray and Bill Gray, obtained a marriage license from another official-gone-rogue in Montgomery County, about four hours away. D. Bruce Hanes, the register of wills in Montgomery County, began issuing same-sex marriage licenses two weeks ago, and Kandray and Gray decided to seize the opportunity.

“It’s an act of civil disobedience,” said Fetterman on MSNBC Thursday. The message to Republican Gov. Tom Corbett, he said, referencing President Reagan’s iconic challenge to Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev, is: “Mr. Corbett, tear down this law.”

You can read more here.

Notice they mention D. Bruce Hanes, the man I've posted about tons of times in the past few weeks. Many are even calling him a hero because he had the courage to stand up for equality and to go down on the right side of history, unlike Mayors Nutter or Keller of Philadelphia and New Hope, PA.

And now there's another hero, Mayor John Fetterman of Braddock, PA, who actually had the courage to compare the unfair law that bans same sex couples from marrying in PA to President Reagan's stand against the Soviet Union many years ago. You see, history always repeats itself, and there's always going to be a law the needs to be challenged for various reasons. In this case with same sex marriage it's equality. And it takes courageous people in power to do this, and to set examples.

Early Gay Marriage; RIP Cameron Fox; Netherlands Gay Village; Dancing Dirty by Ryan Field

Early Gay Marriage

I always find it interesting that people like Theresa Santai-Gaffney, the woman deer hunter who is trying to appeal Judge Jones' ruling in Pennsylvania that made gay marriage legal, don't take into consideration that gay marriages have been around since the beginning of this country. I live in New Hope, Bucks County, PA, now, but I grew up in sleepy Salem County, NJ where it wasn't uncommon to find two women living together in the same house, sharing their lives, and neither one ever bothered to marry a man. In fact, my first exposure to same sex marriage...and I knew it instinctively at the time...was with two women who lived four houses down from the home where I grew up. One worked as an executive secretary for du Pont De Nemours and the other worked as a school teacher. There were several others who spent their lives together putting on a façade when in reality they were living as a married couple because gay marriage wasn't even a thing people discussed. Of course there were whispers and comments made sometimes, but all of these women were respected, participating members of the community and everyone accepted them...as long as they kept it quiet.

Of course what I'm talking about wasn't that long ago, but I'm making that point because things have changed so much in such a short amount of time. The article to which I'm linking now discusses same sex marriage in early America. For those of you who think gays getting married and spending their lives together is something new, you might find this interesting. And it happened long before Pride Day transpired. I highly doubt Theresa Santai-Gaffney would be enlightened by this because she's too far gone and her head is too far up her ass. But as long as there's a chance of disabusing one person of misguided notions about gay couples and same sex marriage it's important to keep talking about these things.

In a graveyard in the village of Weybridge, Vt., stands an unusual headstone. It is inscribed with the names of two women, Sylvia Drake and Charity Bryant, who were born during the Revolutionary era and died in the middle of the 19th century. The women were pillars of their community for four and a half decades, living together in a small house, running a tailoring business, teaching Sunday School, and acting as surrogate mothers and caregivers to hundreds of nieces and nephews. They were also, according to their own understanding and that of those around them, a married couple.

The paragraph above reads much like the story I just related.

You can read more here.

What's interesting is that you rarely hear about same sex marriage between two men in early America. Or for that matter, I don't even remember two men living together the way women did when I was growing up in small town America. A man who never married lived alone and was a bachelor. I do know it was a little different in more urban areas for men. But in small towns two single men rarely shared the same home. The risk was too great and the stigma too dangerous.

RIP Cameron Fox

All male adult entertainer at Falcon Studios, Cameron Fox, died at the age of 36 last Thursday. So far, there's been no cause of death disclosed. He'd been on the scene since 1999 and won a few industry awards.

Chronicles of Pornia made a nice tribute to him.

‘There was a time during the 1990’s gay porn industry pantheon when stars were truly stars whom did not need to pander for adult fame, rather, they simply let their work speak loudly and proudly.

 ‘Cameron Fox was one such person.

 ‘I never once felt as though Cameron was phoning in a performance. He was virile, engaged and present at all times. ‘He gave more than 100% to his action scenes. Fox knew how to give his partners and his fans what they wanted to see. The mark of a real porn star.'

You can read more here at Chronicles of Pornia.

The decade of the 1990's really was the heyday for gay porn. It was pre-internet and videos and DVDs were the only way many gay men could find all male adult entertainment in a safe, discreet way.

Netherlands Gay Village

I have never been fond of gay ghettos...or the concept of "gay ghetto." There are a lot of gay people in the area where Tony and I live, and it is a more progressive place than a lot of small Pennsylvania towns, but we don't live in what is considered a gay ghetto. And that's a conscious choice to a certain degree. New Hope, PA has a gay ghetto. We just don't live in it. We're on the outskirts of town on a more rural road and the farms and homes around us are mostly straight people. The concept of gay ghetto always seemed dangerous to me, especially when it's self-imposed.

In any event, there's a new gay village being built in the city of Tilburg by a Dutch developer and some are worried this might be more about containing gay people rather than keeping them safe. It will be fully enclosed with a tall fence.

The ‘Gay Village’, planned for in the city of Tilburg, would include 13 different locations for housing. The average price for the detached and terraced homes would cost around €250,000 ($338k).

The company says the project is a reflection of research that shows 22% of gay men in the Netherlands sometimes do not feel safe in their own neighborhoods.

Frankly, it sounds more like a gay concentration camp to me. If there's an issue with crime against gays in these neighborhoods maybe officials should be cracking down on that crime so gays are safe everywhere. And maybe gays should be prepared to defend themselves. I'm all for peace, hope, and love, but I learned how to take care of myself a long time ago and if you screw with me you might be surprised at what I have up my proverbial sleeve.

You can read more here. It's interesting that this is happening in the Netherlands, mainly because I'm always hearing how much better things are over there than here in the US from my ultra liberal friends. They all ride bikes over there, they all live in tiny little boxes, they have windmills, etc... I guess they don't mind living behind fences either.

Gay advocacy groups over there seem to agree with me on this one.

Dancing Dirty by Ryan Field

This book was, indeed, a gay parody I wrote as a take on the old straight romance, Dirty Dancing. I disclosed that up front, and I did it when big publishers were NOT doing it. It's not fanfic. It's parody. It's also a common trope that's been used time an again by straight writers and I wanted to make it gay for gay people and readers who enjoy reading gay romance. We don't get much in that mainstream respect. And I don't believe there are any new tropes left out there.

If I had to say what's my ultimate summertime book so far, this would be it.

 It's the summer of 1978, it's the middle of the disco era, and dancing is one of the hottest trends. But eighteen year old Junior has never seen the inside of a gay bar or danced with another man. His mother and father think he's just shy about meeting girls and that he'll grow out of it. His little sister drives him insane with her constant invisible companion, a talking dog named Elmer. All Junior cares about is meeting the right man and falling in love.

But when his parents buy a summer home in an exclusive resort community in the mountains of northeastern Pennsylvania, his prospects of finding love don't look too promising. His first day there he meets an aggressive, abrasive young woman who isn't the least bit shy about letting him know she wants to get to know him better. And the more he ignores her, the more she chases after him.

While his mother and father are enjoying all the amenities of the resort, and his sister is flirting with one of the waiters, Junior mopes around watching everyone else have fun. That is until he meets a handsome young dance instructor named Carlo who changes his life in ways he'd never dreamed were possible.

From the minute Junior lays eyes on Carlo, he knows he's in love. And in order to prove his love, he's willing to make personal sacrifices that no one else has ever been willing to make for Carlo...

 

 

Amazon Link

 

 

From an Amazon review you can read at the link above:

I really enjoy the way this author takes classic stories and gives them a new twist. This book was no exception. I got a kick out of seeing how the story changed with two male protagonists, the love scenes were hot, and Junior's internal monologue was thought-provoking. There seems to be a fun little paranormal twist with the sister's dog, as well.

 

 

American Apparel Supports Gay Marriage: Lena Dunham Does the Same; This Literary Agent is Full

In a follow up to a post I did yesterday about gay marriage in France, here's something interesting that American Apparel is doing in support. And the other links are things I found interesting,..though not totally related to gay marriage...I'm posting about because tomorrow's going to be one of those busy deadline days and I'm not sure I'll have time to post anything.

American Apparel T-Shirt Giveaway

American Apparel plans to give away 10,000 “Legalize Gay” t-shirts in its stores and on the streets of Paris in support of France's marriage equality bill.

For those who haven't heard of them, here's a facebook fan page. You can follow them there to find out more.

From The Seattle Lesbian on gay marriage in France:

Despite support from French President Francois Hollande, progress towards the full legalization of gay marriage has faced tough opposition from religious and political groups. Recently, conservative organizations have sponsored petitions against gay marriage and proposed various exemptions in an effort to undermine potential bills. Though polls currently show that a majority supports the passing of gay marriage laws, these numbers have declined in light of strenuous campaigning from opposing groups.

Lena Dunham Won't Marry Until Gays Can

I've posted about Lena Dunham before with regard to her TV show, "Girls." It's kind of what I'd call a smart, real version of "Sex in the City," without the frustrating gay stereotypes. They do it well with "Girls," at least so far. (In all fairness to SitC, they did their best at the time, too) I personally love the show and DVR when I can't see it. One of the reasons I like it so much is that it's promoting the concept of New Adult, a fiction genre I've been loving and hope to get into very soon. And now Dunham states she won't marry anyone until gays can legally marry.

A note to all of Lena Dunham's current and future suitors: Don't propose until same-sex marriage is legal everywhere in the U.S.

Despite wearing a diamond on her ring finger at the Golden Globe Awards Sunday, the "Girls" creator confirmed that she is not engaged to her boyfriend, Fun. guitarist Jack Antonoff.

According to the Daily Mail, Dunham said backstage, "I don't want to get married until all gay people can get married.

Wouldn't it be interesting if everyone who supported gay marriage did this? Why the wedding industry alone would turn sideways and you'd see more people carrying "Let Those Gays Marry NOW" protest signs in front of the White House in numbers that would outreach anything we could have imagined. And what if single straight guys decided to protest marriage altogether until gay marriage became legal? Can you picture all those single straight women out there carrying their signs? I can dream.

Literary Agent careful about who she "takes on"

I've been following Kristin Nelson's blog for a long time. Not as often lately as I used to for lack of time. But it's really one of the few remaining lit agent blogs out there that offers viable advice to new writers looking to get pubbed. One of the things I've always liked about it is that it's straight forward and no nonsense. In other words, it's not a sideshow and she's not one of those trying-too-hard-to-be-funny bloggers. You get what you expect, and there's nothing wrong with that.

She recently posted an interesting list of things she's turned down. I thought this one was important:

Author soon to be published by one of the Big 6 publishers and looking for new rep. Thought the writing was lovely but this particular story didn't engage me. I have a fairly full client list so I'm very conscious about who I would take on. I'd have to be in the place of "I'll die if I don't rep this."

It's interesting in the sense that I've been hearing this for twenty years from lit agents. It's even more interesting that this potential client will be pubbed by one of the big six soon, and still Nelson turned him/her down. It comes down to one factor. If the book doesn't resonate with the agent there's nothing you can do about it.

And this doesn't seem to be changing any time soon. In order for an agent to take on a client the agent must love the work or it's not going to be a good experience for anyone. I'm posting this because I see so many misconceptions about what literary agents actually do lately. I might even write a future post about agents and what they do because it seems there's so much confusion. All I'd really have to do is provide a long list of links to a lot of the older blogs I used to read because most of them are still up and the information is still there.

However, this one statement by Nelson rings loudly and clearly. Now that writers have more choices, they need to explore all these choices instead of just querying agents and hoping for the best. If E.L. James had queried Nelson she most likely would have been rejected with a form letter. Nelson talked about her strong feelings for "Fifty Shades of Grey" in previous blog posts very candidly. And that's when it comes down to subjectivity...and luck.

But the good news is there's never been a better time for new writers, at least not that I can recall.

Gay Marriage in Illinois; Adam Weinstein Great/Scathing Essay

Gay Marriage in Illinois

Illinois is dealing with many of the same issues regarding same sex marriage that we're dealing with here in Pennsylvania. For the most part the issues are all about equality and I don't think anyone pushing for same sex marriage to be legalized everywhere would dispute that as the main issue. Everything else is secondary. However, there are also other small things to consider like the gay dollar, the power of the gay dollar, and boosting a state's economy.

Majority Leader Barbara Flynn Currie sent a letter to all House members earlier this month saying it’s time to approve legislation legalizing same-sex marriage. The letter follows a push in early September by Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak to lure Illinois’ gay couples to wed in Minnesota, which legalized same-sex marriage earlier this year. Attempts to approve legislation have stalled in Illinois; A measure passed the state’s Senate but the House sponsor didn’t call a vote because he said he didn’t have the votes.

“Illinois has been missing out on this economic opportunity long before Minneapolis’ mayor unleashed his advertising campaign in our state,” Currie wrote in the letter released Saturday.

I've posted about Illinois here on the blog before. Frankly, a good deal of the issue is coming down to money in an off-handed way. I heard a group of younger gay men talking about New Hope, PA, this weekend, where the mayor of New Hope refused to marry same sex couples recently, and they brushed off going to New Hope for the weekend without even thinking twice as a result of the mayor's decision.

You can read more here.

Adam Weintstein Great/Scathing Essay

Adam Weinstein is a career writer and he has written pieces for publications I often link to here, like Mother Jones and the Village Voice. And he's recently written what many are calling a scathing essay that slams those who think his generation is lacking something...for lack of a better way to phrase that. I actually tend to agree with him, and on all the points he makes.

Last weekend my baby had a fever, and we contemplated taking him to the ER, and my first thought was - had to be - “Oh God, that could wipe out our savings! Maybe he can just ride it out?” Our status in this Big Financial Game had sucked my basic humanity towards my child away for a minute. If I wish for something better, is that me simply being entitled and delusional?

I don't know how anyone could even try to dispute that paragraph. If you can dispute it, you're coming from a place of huge privilege and you should remain silent and thank your lucky stars. I don't know many younger people who aren't facing that very same issue. I even argued about this very same topic with Tony last week in the car on our way to a function. In the 1970's when I was a little kid you could still go to the dentist and it was affordable. Or even the veterinarian. Nowadays one quick trip to the dentist or the vet and it's the same as a down payment for a new car. I honestly don't know how younger people are doing it these days.  

You can read more here. It's a great essay. From what I've seen in other places, he's had over 700,000 hits.

Hawaiian Gay Votes Against Gay Marriage; Indy Mayor Against Marriage Ban

Hawaiian Gay Votes Against Gay Marriage

One of Hawaii's openly gay representatives, Jo Jordan, made history this week by being the first openly gay person in power to actually vote against marriage equality in Hawaii in what has often been a contentious fight at best. The reason why she voted against the bill is not because she's anti-same sex marriage. It's really because she isn't certain the law is as strong as it should be and as a legislator her solitary goal is to create an absolute law that can't be challenged down the line.

“I’m not here to protect the big churches or the little churches, I’m saying we can’t erode what’s currently out there. We don’t want to scratch at the religious protections at all, because if we don’t create a measure that’s bulletproof, or as close to bulletproof as possible, then the measure will go to the courts. And they will interpret it however that may be. A judge will make assumptions and make a ruling, and that will become the law of the land. So you really want us to create the legislation.”

As anyone can imagine, Jo Jordon has not been all that popular with the LGBT community for obvious reasons. I'm not even sure how to comment on this one. I would imagine that if a few other LGBT people in power agreed with Jordon and backed her up it might sound less extreme. However, right now same sex marriage is about to pass in Hawaii in spite of Jordon's protests, and Hawaii will then become the 16th state to have legalized same sex marriage.

I guess only time will tell if she was right or wrong.

Here's another article about Hawaii, and why this bill is so significant in Hawaii. I didn't know the fight for same sex marriage actually began in Hawaii years ago.

But the step in Hawaii has special resonance because the contemporary battle over same-sex marriage was born here two decades ago. Such marriages existed nowhere when Ninia Baehr and Genora Dancel, along with two other couples, filed what seemed like an utterly quixotic lawsuit seeking a marriage license. To near universal shock, Hawaii’s Supreme Court granted them a victory in 1993, ruling that a refusal to allow gay and lesbian couples to marry was discriminatory and illegal.

I'm not really surprised that I don't remember this. To be perfectly honest, I'd already been with Tony for a full year in 1993 and at the time actual legal marriage was not even on our proverbial radar. In other words, we didn't think that way because we had been conditioned to not think that way. And people like is basically did the best we could with circumstances we didn't even know we could change.

Indy Mayor Against Marriage Ban

The Mayor of Indianapolis, Greg Ballard, came out publicly against Indiana's gay marriage ban and he signed a resolution to prove it. As it stands now, in Indiana marriage is between one man and one woman, and now conservative groups want to make this even stronger by creating a measure that would make it even more difficult to legalize gay marriage there.

Indiana already limits marriage to being between one man and one woman. Indiana lawmakers are set to consider amending that definition into the state constitution during the upcoming session.
If successful, the measure would then be placed on the ballot for consideration by voters next November.

They also want to leave it up to voters, much like Gov. Chris Christie wanted to do in NJ recently.

If successful, the measure would then be placed on the ballot for consideration by voters next November.

The problem with leaving something like this up to voters is that anyone who is anti-gay and doesn't want to see LGBT people have the same equal rights as everyone else gets to decide the rights of innocent people and that's just not fair. I personally don't want a Christian bible thumping zealot deciding my fate, just as that same Christian bible thumping zealot would not want ME deciding his or her fate.

What is highly interesting about this whole thing with Greg Ballard, at least it is to me, is that Ballard is a Republican mayor, and yet he is still against a marriage ban. Ballard has also been a guest, in a front row seat, at a gay wedding.

When Democratic councilor Zach Adamson recited his wedding vows at a multi-faith ceremony in Indianapolis last weekend, Republican Mayor Greg Ballard and wife Winnie were there in the front row to witness it.

Adamson and his long-time partner Christian Mosburg had gotten legally married in Washington, D.C. on Oct. 19, but they returned to Indiana — where same sex marriage is banned — last weekend to repeat their vows.

You can read more here.

As a side note, I'll be posting something brief about New Hope Mayor, Larry Keller, very soon with the recent results of the local election. I posted about how Mayor Keller refused to marry a gay couple here in PA last month in several places. His decision started local firestorm that probably won't end for a long, long time.

Gay Marriage Ruling; Tea Dance Gay Culture

Just to be clear on the gay marriage ruling today in the Supreme Court, I wanted to post something short for those who don't always understand these things at a glance (like me).

The victory means the federal government must recognize the marriages of gay and lesbian couples married in the 12 states that allow same-sex marriage, plus the District of Columbia, and give them the same benefits that they had been previously denied under the struck-down law, the Defense of Marriage Act (or DOMA).

This means those who are fortunate enough to live in states where same sex marriage is legal are now protected by the same laws as straight married couples. And what used to be a small victory for gay couples who lived in states that did legalize gay marriage is now a huge victory or them and for equality.

84 year old widow, Edith Windsor, is a new hero of mine.

Windsor launched her lawsuit after getting a bill for $363,000 in estate taxes after her wife, Thea Spyer, died in 2009 – two years following the couple's marriage in Canada. She noted that if her spouse had been named “Theo,” she wouldn't have received that bill.

Windsor will now get that money back as a result of this ruling.

Tony and I have known more than a few gay couples who have been faced with these taxes upon the death of a spouse. In many cases it has wiped the survivor out. Unfortunately, Tony and I still live in Pennsylvania where gay marriage is not legal, and if that stands we may be forced to leave our home and move to a state where it is legal. So there's still a long way to go for most gay couples, and there's still a lot to do before we are all considered equal. But I think now, after this ruling today, things will move faster in a lot of other states.


Tea Dance Gay Culture

This morning I received copy edits from the publisher for one of my Bad Boy Billionaire Books, The Palm Beach Stud, and I thought it would be the routine revises I've come to expect. But this time I noticed something unusual. The book is set in Palm Beach, FL, and I'd mentioned the characters were all going to Tea Dance on a Sunday afternoon, which is still popular at clubs in South Beach...and other gay venues all over the country. I didn't elaborate on this because I didn't think I had to.

However, the editor left a question mark in tracker, and then she highlighted every other place I'd mentioned Tea Dance. So I was curious, and I put a question out on facebook to see how many other people didn't know about Tea Dance in gay culture. And I found out there are many who don't know. So I figured I would put it in a post and give links right now. I also gave a strong explanation of Tea Dance in the book and sent it back to the publisher with the revise. I probably should have known better, but I thought everyone was familiar with it. I'm just glad the copy editor caught it before it was released. One more reason you need an editor.

This is from Urban Dictionary:

Tea dance, often abbreviated as just "tea", is a term for "happy hour" used among men and women in the gay community. Not necessarily just one hour.
The term can also be qualified by "hight" and "low" to qualify the time of day it occurs. Low tea typically takes place earlier in the evening. High tea is later. And in some larger gay resorts, such as Fire Island, there is even mid-tea which takes place between the two.

In places like Provincetown, MA, Tea Dance is something gay tourists look forward to...sometimes every day of the week. In New Hope, there's a Tea Dance at The Raven restaurant/bar every Sunday all year long...even in the winter. We go from about 5 in the afternoon until about 7 in the evening. This link to Wiki also gives a good explanation, and gets into the origins of Tea Dance. I know more than one gay couple where Sunday revolves around Tea Dance...or as they say, "Sunday Tea."