Saturday, March 17, 2018

Newspaper Removes Gay Husband From Obituary; Love, Simon Star Keiynan Lonsdale On Coming Out; A Tool To See Who Blocked You On Grindr

Newspaper Removes Gay Husband From Obituary

I've seen gay couples deal with obituaries many different ways in my lifetime. Older gay couples typically mentioned a "husband" as "a lifelong friend," or something along those lines. Something tasteful and safe...something that wouldn't offend people. Up until recently I rarely ever saw "husband" ( or "wife") actually used in obituaries for older gay couples. That's because discretion was always the most important thing to these people. And also because we weren't allow the freedom to do this, legally.

Many never even admitted they were long term relationships, at least not aloud. This topic with regard to gay couples could be a series of posts, however, I'll stick to this one story for now because it's so awful. In this case the newspaper totally removed the husband from the obituary of the other guy's mother.

A newspaper has defended censoring a grieving man’s husband from his mother’s obituary.
Barry Gilles and John Gambill have been married for 31 years.
Gilles’ mother, Brenda Light, had an obituary published in The Olton Enterprise, Texas, following her passing in February aged 77.
When my mom and dad passed in 2015 and 2016, I wrote the obituaries myself and I added Tony as my husband, without apology or shame. And I knew my parents would have wanted it that way. But not everyone's that lucky.
You can read the rest here.  This is one more reason why I have no patience for people who want to straightsplain to me and compare gay marriage to gun control. No patience whatsoever. 

Love, Simon Star Keiynan Lonsdale On Coming Out
Now here's a good example of how much has changed in the last few years. In case you don't know, Love, Simon is a new gay film that's getting excellent reviews from gay people, not the straight, fake, fixed Hollywood publicity machine like with Call Me By Your Name. From what I'm seeing and hearing, Love, Simon is an authentic gay film. 
Actor Keiynan Lonsdale has spoken about coming out to his Love, Simon co-stars and crew.
Lonsdale stars in the romcom as school jock Abraham Greenfeld, otherwise known as Bram.
The 27-year-old came out as LGBTI in May 2017, a few weeks after filming for Love, Simon finished.
I've heard wonderful things about this film and I can't wait to see it. 

A Tool To See Who Blocked You On Grindr
Here's a story from hook up app culture. For the life of me I don't know why anyone would care about who blocked them on Grindr. It's Grindr. Think about that. 
Introducing C*ckblocked, a new online tool that allows Grindr users to see everyone who has blocked them. It was developed by Trever Faden, a tech professional from Washington, D.C.
I guess I'm missing something. I don't even care who blocks me on social media, let alone a hook up app. 

Kendle's Fire
A PG Rated Gay Romance

Altered Parts: Limited Edition

In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Friday, March 16, 2018

Man Tests HIV Positive With PrEP; Hot Cop of Castro Found Guilty; Troye Sivan Doesn't Want To Be Called A Gay Icon

Man Tests HIV Positive With PrEP

I heard a very unusual story recently about a guy I know personally who is on PrEP. He's been doing the PrEP regimen for a couple of years, he's always tested negative for HIV, he's perfectly healthy, and he was recently diagnosed with Kaposi's Sarcoma...KS...which is a rare form of cancer associated with AIDS. No one can explain why he got KS, especially since he's HIV negative. But this kind of KS been showing up in urban areas with gay men just recently. And not many people are talking about it.  You can read more about KS here. 

With that said, here's a story about a guy who's been on PrEP who recently tested HIV positive.

Health officials in Washington State say that a local man has contracted HIV while taking PrEP. It is believed he was infected with a rare strain of HIV that is resistant to both of the medications in Truvada.

Here's the rest.  Be prudent, guys. I don't believe there will ever be anything that replaces safe sex and common sense when it comes to all STDs.

Hot Cop of Castro Found Guilty

Turns out the Hot Cop of Castro the gay presses were raving about a few years ago is a criminal now. I'll never forget the first time I read about this guy and how I wanted to gag.

 Christopher Kohrs, also known as the “Hot Cop of Castro,” was found guilty Thursday of two felony counts of hit and run after plowing over two pedestrians in San Francisco’s North Beach in 2015, then fleeing the scene.

One of the things I despise most...and will never a hit and run. Despicable. 

You can read more here. Wait until you hear his defense.

Troye Sivan Doesn't Want To Be Called A Gay Icon

Well, since I've never even been sure what a gay icon is, Troye Sivan will LOVE me.

 Troye Sivan might be one of the queerest of the queer pop stars making music today, but the 22-year-old singer says he isn’t interested in being labelled a “gay icon” just yet.

In a new interview with Wonderland magazine, Troye says there are limitations when it comes to representing the LGBTQ community.
Here's the rest of it.   Grab some popcorn for the comments. 

Kendle's Fire
A PG Rated Gay Romance

Altered Parts: Limited Edition

In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Jake Sheers and Broadway's Kinky Boots; Private Grindr Pics Sent To City Hall; The Benham Brothers Talk Sex

Jake Sheers and Broadway's Kinky Boots

This is getting fantastic reviews. 

The campaign to import Jake Shears and his kinky boots from Broadway to the West End starts here. And hopefully the Scissor Sisters star can smuggle Kirstin Maldonado, of acapella group Pentatonix, over in his suitcase. These two big-name additions to the New York cast of the Tony award-winning musical are so good it’s hard to believe they’re both making their Broadway debuts.

You can check this out, here. I remember the first time I saw Kinky Boots. I loved it from the first scene. I'm glad it hung around this long. 

Private Grindr Pics Sent To City Hall

This is a story about a councilman who was either too trusting or doesn't know much about the Internet. He was on Grindr, published photos of himself there, and then someone sent them to city hall. 

19-year-old Cross Coburn was elected to the City Council in Groves, Texas. Yes, you read that correctly. He’s 19.
Earlier this week, anonymous envelopes arrived at the Port Arthur News, KDFM-TV, and City Hall. Inside were screenshots of Groves’ private Grindr photos and conversations he had had with other men.
Here's more. Of course he's defending his privacy. Sorry. If you're willing to risk putting photos of yourself on any online hook up app, then you'd better be willing to deal with any possible consequences. In this case, the photos aren't even that explicit. If anything, they make him look a little ridiculous. 

Frankly, I couldn't care less what photos anyone has on Grindr, however, unlike me there are a lot of judgmental people who do. He should have been more prudent. We all have to think a certain way nowadays. 

The comments are interesting. 

The Benham Brothers Talk Sex

I don't know why these guys fascinate me so much, but they do. And I'm not the only one. 

In a new interview with the Chrisitan Post, the Benham Brothers are warning millennials against the “darkness” looming over society and urging them not to bend to the “cultural winds” of sexual perversion sweeping over our great nation.

You can check this one out, here. This is the kind of thing that might make them look really idiotic 20 years from now. But I can't predict the future, so I guess we'll have to wait and see. 

The comments!! 

Kendle's Fire
A PG Rated Gay Romance

Altered Parts: Limited Edition

In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

HBO's Here and Now Excellently HOT Gay Sex Scenes; Lebanon: Gay Sex Decriminalization; Tinder Sued By Trans Woman

HBO's Here and Now Excellently HOT Gay Sex Scenes 

When I first started watching HBO's new series, Here and Now, I thought it would be more of a paranormal. So far I'm not really sure what it is, but I love the characters, the story line moves fast, and there are two gay characters that are handled very well. So far I can't find one single Will and Grace stereotype. Like most TV these days, the gay characters in Here and Now are being incorporated into a mainstream story line and it's not a big deal. It's just natural, which is refreshing to see.

The sex scenes are great, too. They aren't explicit, but they show gay sex in a more realistic way than most things I've seen. 

Here's something from the web site.

A provocative and darkly comic meditation on the forces polarizing present-day American culture, as experienced by the members of a progressive multi-ethnic family — a philosophy professor and his wife, their adopted children, and sole biological child — and a Muslim family, headed by a psychiatrist who is treating one of their children.

You can check this out, here. I'm loving it and I'm not even binge watching this one. I'm actually waiting for a new episode each Sunday night.  

Lebanon: Gay Sex Decriminalization

On the global front, politicians in Lebanon are now trying to decriminalize gay sex. 

Politicians in Lebanon have called for the government to decriminalise same-sex intercourse.
Right-wing Christian Democrat party, the Kataeb party, announced plans to scrap the law on television over the weekend. 

Here's the rest. I'll post more when I see it. 

Tinder Sued By Trans Woman

I know absolutely nothing about Tinder.

A trans woman is suing Tinder claiming it rejects all transgender people from the dating app.
Ariel Hawkins, from Portland, has filed a lawsuit against the global dating site.
She edited her profile to disclose she was pre-op trans woman a few days ago.

Here's more. I hope there's a follow up. I don't totally understand this one because according to the link below from the NYT Tinder does allow trans people. And this dates back to 2016. I was curious and I had to check. 

The move to let transgender users identify themselves as such on Tinder is meant to let them “interact with people who are more accepting of who they are,” the company’s chief executive said.

Here's the link to this one

Kendle's Fire
A PG Rated Gay Romance

Altered Parts: Limited Edition

In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

They Love to StraightSplain To Us; StraightSplaining In Disguise; StraightSplaining and Being Totally Ignored

They Love To "StraightSplain" To Us

This has been one of those weeks where it seems as if every time I turn around another straight person is telling me what gay marriage is all about in the typical condescending way. It happens to all gay people, not just me. They'll not only tell you they know it all, they'll swear they are experts on gay marriage. And then they'll tell you what it's like to be gay and married. The best one so far I've encountered is the so-called "gay tolerant" conservative straight person who thinks it's okay to compare gay marriage to gun control, especially if you take the "human" aspect out of it. I guess we're not humans to her.

In any event, here's how it happens all the time.

As a radio host and commentator, and as a gay man, I’m used to conservatives calling in or writing me to straight-splain the world to me. I apparently shouldn’t be defending Muslims against bigotry nor support allowing Syrian refugees into the country, for example, because ISIS throws gays off of buildings. “How could you defend people who want to see you dead?” It’s not always as simplistic, wildly inaccurate and ridiculous, but it is always just as condescending.

You can check this one out, here. Frankly, I've lost patience with it and I simply distance myself from those straightsplaining people now. And that's because once it happens (and it only has to happen once) you simply can't go back for more.

StraightSplaining In Disguise

Here's another one I think all gay people have encountered...even when they didn't know it was happening. Honestly, many times I didn't know myself. It took years to realize why some comments were not sitting well with me.

It’s a sentiment I’ve been handed countless times as an out gay man: “I’m so happy for you.” That may sound swell, but it’s made me recoil with its unwitting air of condescension. It’s often delivered by past acquaintances from high school, whom I’ve caught up with or bumped into after graduating into my grown-up world.

You can read this, here. It's an interesting piece that mentions how straight people are so used to thinking about queerness as inferior. 

StraightSplaining and Being Totally Ignored

If you're gay and you haven't experience this one, consider yourself truly blessed.  

In a group of my colleagues, I made several attempts to contribute to discussions about homophobia and reparative “therapy”. I thought disclosing my sexual orientation would give me instant credibility on these issues. Instead, I was surprised to find my voice would largely go ignored. I would feel excluded, confused and frustrated, but to avoid offending others, I would walk away from the conversation.

That's usually what most of us do...we walk away. I know I usually do that. This is why I still keep this blog after 10 years. I get the last word here, and I honestly don't care what anyone thinks about that. 

Here's the rest of the article. 

Side Note: Not all straight people straightsplain to gay people. I know many, and I'm friends with many, who don't treat gay people this way. 

Kendle's Fire
A PG Rated Gay Romance

Altered Parts: Limited Edition

In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Monday, March 12, 2018

Filbert's Special Cheese: A Gay Amish Romance Excerpt; London Talent Agency Rejects Gay Performer; Lesbian Home Raided By Cops

Filbert's Special Cheese: A Gay Amish Romance

I've never written a gay Amish romance and I thought it was time. I know closeted gay Amish men, and I know a little about what life is like for them. In the same respect, I don't know what it's totally like to be gay and Amish, so I tried to be sensitive to that.

I also tried to tell a story about what it might be like if a young gay man from New York fell in love with his very distant Amish cousin. Here's the blurb and there's an excerpt below at the bottom of this post. It's all still in edits, so there might be a few changes when it's pubbed.

Discretion has never been Noah’s strong point, so he’s not totally shocked when his wealthy New York parents decide to send him away to Amish country for the summer. Although Noah believes his parents are punishing him for his blatant indiscretions with men by sending him to live with his big Amish cousins who make their own cheese, his parents believe they’re teaching Noah a lesson in life that will tame him.

As a closeted gay Amish man filled with internal conflict, Filbert’s entire life has revolved around keeping secrets and discretion. Although he’s managed to figure out how to learn about gay culture through a part time job that gives him Internet access, and a trusted best friend named Niles, he’s a 24 year old gay virgin trapped in a world that will never accept him for who he is.  

When these two distant cousins from completely different worlds meet for the first time, neither of them believe they’ll ever be more than civil to each other. Noah jokes about Filbert’s special cheese, and Filbert throws shade and sass at Noah’s promiscuity. However, as the summer progresses and other influences come into play, they discover a mutual bond that’s stronger than they’d expected. But is it strong enough to tame Noah’s wild, reckless urges and indiscretions? And is it enough to give Filbert the courage to leave his overbearing Amish mother and the only way of life he’s ever known?

London Talent Agency Rejects Gay Performer

Here's what happened to an openly gay performer in London...

In its rejection letter, the agency said: “We already have a gay actor on our books and also an actor/musician of the same age. So we feel there would be a clash. I’m unable to consider you at the moment.”

The most interesting thing about this is that "they" would rather hire straight actors to play gay than hire openly gay actors to play gay. Just look at the films Call Me By Your Name, and Brokeback Mountain. Do you need more examples? It's been going on for years, and it happens to other minorities, too. Hollywood is notorious for putting white people in yellowface to play Asian characters. 

Lesbian Home Raided By Cops

On the global front, here's a disturbing story from Indonesia. 

The Civil Service Police Unit (Depok Satpol PP) raided the home of the women after neighbors ‘to ensure they are not a lesbian couple’.
Homosexuality is not illegal in Indonesia, which is the world’s largest Muslim nation.

FREE Gay Excerpt

Noah Gledhill had a sinking feeling deep in his gut that he'd been summoned to his dad's personal library for a reason, and it certainly wasn't because of anything he'd done to make the world a better place. As he descended the grand white marble staircase that had been imported from Italy over 150 years earlier, he lifted his chin, forced a smile, and sharpened his posture. His mom and dad were big on the concept of positivity and good impressions, at least according to their Instagram accounts. He thought if he appeared positive and upbeat they might go easier on him.
At the bottom of the stairs, he crossed the main hall and entered the library, with his brightest smile and lightest step, the same way he had every other time his family had helped him out of a messy situation. He wore his most conservative navy pullover and khaki slacks, and those boring wing tip shoes his dad wore all the time. He'd slicked his short blond hair back, shaved off his five o'clock shadow, and he'd removed the diamond studs he usually had in his earlobes. He’d even removed the black nail polish from his fingernails and he'd only had that done a few days earlier at a little nail salon in the Village.
In the library, he found his mom sitting on a white damask wing chair next to the imported limestone fireplace, and his dad standing behind the huge hand carved banker's desk that his great-grandfather had imported from Spain. Even though he'd never cared for that room, with its dark walnut panels and musty old print books, he lifted his chin higher and sent them both a smile. "Good morning, mother, father. Isn't it a glorious day outside? Doesn't it make you feel wonderful to be alive?"
His mom exchanged a look with his dad, and said, "Good morning, dear." She always spoke as if she were on stage, elongating certain syllables, so that when she pronounced words like dear it sounded more like daaay-ahr.
"Good morning," said his dad. He gestured to a matching wing chair on the other side of the fireplace. "Would you please take a seat, Noah. We'd like to speak with you about something important."
This didn't sound good. His mom and dad, Nancy and Edwin Gledhill, were easy to read. They were too polite that morning; their expressions too blank. Each time before when he'd screwed up they'd had rage, shame, or disappointment in their eyes. Now they only seemed to have slight resignation, at best, which was odd because this was probably the worst thing he’d ever done.
While Noah crossed to the wing chair, Edwin walked around to the front of the desk and said, "I'm sure you know why we've asked you to come here this morning."
Noah just nodded and smiled. Oh, he knew why they'd asked him there that morning. And for the record, they hadn't asked him. They'd summoned him. He knew he had to be proactive, so he went right into his apology before his dad had another chance to speak. "I want to apologize from the bottom of my heart for what happened last night. I'm deeply, truly sorry and I swear on my life it will never happen again. I don't know what happened to me. It's like I lost my mind and went completely blank. In fact, I barely remember how I got into that situation in the first place. I think someone must have slipped something into my water bottle, a drug or something."
"Before you continue, I'd like to say something," Edwin said.
Noah smiled at his mom and said, "You're looking absolutely wonderful this morning, mother. You've either lost weight or you've done something different with your hair. It's very becoming." He'd noticed his mom and dad had been exchanging glances during his apology, which wasn’t a good sign. His mom was usually the one who came to his defense and he knew he needed her on his side.
"Thank you," Nancy said. She elongated thank you and it sounded like Thaaaank you. "But there's no need to continue. No matter what you say this time it's not going to work. Your charm, your good looks, and your ability to talk anyone into anything isn't going to get you out of this like all the times before. Your father and I have made a decision and we think it's in your best interest." She never referred to Edwin as his dad. It was always as his father.
Noah gulped. He felt a thump in his throat. "A decision?" They'd never looked this glum or sounded this ominous.
Edwin cleared his throat and started pacing the library. "We both feel that it's in your own best interest to change things for you. After all, Noah, you're nearly 25 years old, you've been floundering since you graduated from college, and you don't seem to have an interest in doing anything with your life. You don't seem able to concentrate on anything."
"I want to be a rapper," Noah said. It was the first thing that popped into his head.
"Last week you wanted to be a poet," his mom said.
"And the week before that you wanted to be a dancer," his dad said.
"I really do want to be a rapper," Noah said. "This time I mean it." He was sorry he'd said he wanted to be a rapper, but it was too late to change his mind now. Even though he was blond, had blue eyes, and didn't even remotely fit the image of a rap singer, he had to stick to one story for the time being for the sake of clarity.
"We've heard all the excuses we can possibly hear," Nancy said. "It's time to force you into taking a good look at your life and your priorities."
Noah sat up in the chair and leaned forward. "I don't understand."
"We've decided to send you to live with your Amish cousins for the summer," Edwin said.
Noah blinked. "My Amish cousins? My big Amish cousins?"
Edwin nodded. "Yes. I think you need time to reflect on what happened last night, and to think about what you want to do with your future. Besides, we both think it's best that you get out of New York for a while. I worked out a deal with a few people I know downtown and that's the only reason you're not in jail right now. And trust me, it wasn't easy to do."
Noah gasped. "But my big Amish cousins make their own cheese."
"You've left us no other choice, dear," Nancy said.
He had no idea what he'd done had been illegal. At the time, it had seemed so natural to him. How was he supposed to know those things? But he decided not to question this. He was already in enough trouble and he didn't want to provoke his parents more than they already were.
"What if I promise to go back to school and get my master's degree?" Noah asked. "And I'll work part time at the company. You always wanted me to work at the company." The family business was now centered on high end real estate in Manhattan. Working in real estate was the last thing he'd ever wanted to do in life, but anything would be better than living with his big Amish cousins in sleepy little town where people made their own cheese.
 Nancy sighed. "I'm afraid it's too late for that, dear. You've left us no choice."
"We've made up our minds and we're not going to change them," Edwin said.
"Can't we just talk about this first," Noah said. He had a feeling this time he wasn't going to get out of trouble. He'd never seen them with more serious expressions or heard them speak with firmer tones. Unfortunately, it wasn’t easy to come up with a defense for what he’d done the night before.
He'd hooked up with a group of guys he'd met at the basketball courts in Central Park. Noah was attracted to straight guys and he loved basketball. One of the places where he met straight guys was at public basketball courts. There were other places, like public parks, rest rooms, and bowling alleys. It's just that basketball was easier and safer, and he knew how to play basketball as well as any guy. He'd met more tricks at the basketball courts than he'd ever met at gay bars or on gay hook up apps. The only drawback was those straight men tended to be rougher and more aggressive. They were streetwise, cared little about feelings, and were only out for what they could get. Of course all that was part of the turn on for Noah. He never expected any of them to marry him.
He'd never had any problem getting into games with guys he didn't know. It was a guy thing. They always let him play. And he was good. Sometimes so good he had to fake being awful just to make the straight guys he was interested in look better on the court. He knew they had huge egos and he knew they liked to win. When they won they were in better moods, which usually helped him get what he wanted.
It had been different that night, not the same casual, furtive atmosphere as usual. He'd come across six guys about his age playing on the court who didn't know each other and didn't seem to care whether they won or lost. They were all dark haired, lanky, covered with tattoos, and had rough streetwise exteriors. They spoke with deep voices and their shorts sagged well below their waistlines. There was hardly any competition whatsoever, which made Noah wonder. He just remained as quiet as possible and played along with the others waiting to see what might happen. 

Kendle's Fire
A PG Rated Gay Romance

Altered Parts: Limited Edition

In Their Prime by Ryan Field