Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Hump Day Adam Lambert; Justin Bieber Strips; Drag Queens Revolt Facebook; Teen and Jesus Oral Sex; Too Hard to Handle by Ryan Field

Hump Day Adam Lambert

I know how fond most of my readers are of Adam Lambert, and he doesn't make the gay news often. I check it out daily and I rarely see anything about him. So when I do see something I usually post about it. I'm a fan, too. In this case there's a photo shoot about the end of his recent tour.

The tour finished last week in New Zealand, but fans who experienced it will have a lifetime of memories. To wrap up this Summer To Remember, let’s take a pictorial look at some highlights!

You can read the rest here, along with some very nice photos, indeed.

Justin Bieber Strips

I know a lot of you aren't as fond of Justin Bieber as you are of Lambert. But I love him. I think he's not only adorable, but highly misunderstood. In this next link you can see Bieber strip down on TV. He seems like a good sport.

Sure, he’s an obnoxious punk, but you’ve got to give it up to him, he looks good in his underwear. Who can we thank for this bit of Bieber beefcake? Apparently Justin’s grandmother. Thanks Gran!

There's more here, with adorable photos. Yes, I'm bias. Be nice. They say he's really very sweet when you get to know him. And let's face it. He's under a lot of pressure for someone so young.

Drag Queens Revolt Facebook

Last week I posted about how drag queens are allegedly being targeted on facebook for not using their real names. When I shared this on social media someone commented and said it's happening to everyone. I didn't know that, at least not in my social media circles. Almost all the authors I know are using pen names...and rightly so...if you choose to use a pen name. Sometimes I'm sorry I didn't back when I made the choice to use my own name.

In any event, after a threat to picket the Seattle office for FB, FB has finally responded to the allegations.

A Facebook spokesman told GSN: ‘If people want to use an alternative name on Facebook, they have several different options available to them, including providing an alias under their name on their profile, or creating a page specifically for that alternative persona.

 ‘As part of our overall standards, we ask that people who use Facebook provide their real name on their profile.’

Facebook believes using real names improves trust and accountability and makes it easier to hold those who share malicious or offensive content to account.

Oh, FB always has a response. While I agree with the basic premise of what FB is saying, and my local friends and family know me on FB with my own identity, I also believe in creative license and to take away the ability for drag queens...or even authors...to post under creative names would be a shame. I know doctors and attorney's who also post under fictitious names for the sake of privacy. Millions do. And in a world where privacy has become mandatory for us all, I think it would be highly disingenuous for any social media to expect everyone to use a real identity.

In any event, this is what the drag queens believe:

She says: ‘Although our names might not be our “legal” birth names, they are still an integral part of our identities, both personally and to our communities.

 ‘[Stage names] help protect their privacy and anonymity, with good reason. Victims of abuse, trans people, queer people who are not able to be safely “out,” and performers alike need to be able to socialize, connect, and build communities on social media safely.

 ‘By forcing us to use our “real” names, it opens the door to harassment, abuse, and violence.’

What I don't understand is why can't facebook require everyone to sign up with real legal identities that can be kept hidden, just so facebook, the company, knows who is who and what is going on? In return, even if someone signs up with a real identity they can still post in public with a fictitious name. And only FB will know who that person is, in case anything malicious or offensive happens. Wouldn't that make more sense? Other places do this and it seems to work. The most interesting thing is that when you sign up for something with your real identity, even if you are posting with a fake persona, you still know you can't get away with anything because the company knows who you are.

You can read more here.

Teen and Jesus Oral Sex

This is really a little odd. There's this teenager in Pennsylvania who thought it would be amusing to simulate having oral sex with a statue of Jesus. The accused is only 14 years old, but the commonwealth is enforcing what's being called an old blasphemy law which could land the kid a permanent record and prison time.

Some activists are outraged:

'This is a blasphemy law, pure and simple, and it is in clear violation of the Establishment Clause of the United States Constitution,' said Truth Wins Out Executive Director Wayne Besen.

'If the kid had destroyed or damaged the statue, he would clearly deserve to face consequences. But taking a picture that offends somebody’s religious sensibilities? This is not Russia or Iran; this is the United States, where we’re supposed to value freedom of speech. Pennsylvania should be ashamed of itself for so clearly violating this kid’s constitutional rights.'

There's a photo of the actual incident here, where you can read more. I think a plausible argument for this would be what if the kid had tried to simulate oral sex with a statue of George Washington, or any non-religious figure. Would he be facing these charges? Would the most staunch supporters of Washington be this offended. I'm sure some would, but not to the extent of ruining a kid's life.

The only thing I can add to this is that if you think about how viciously the Christian community has treated the LGBTI community over the years by denying them equal rights and the basic freedoms other Americans have, this act of immaturity by a 14 year old pales in comparison.

Cover Preview Too Hard to Handle by Ryan Field

Here's a cover preview for an upcoming full length m/m romance in the Glendora Hill series, Too Hard to Handle. I always state that the books are all stand alones in the series, which means you don't have to read them in consecutive order to get each book. Below this cover preview is a list of other books in the series. There are still two yet to be published.  I'll post more about this one when it's released.

Other Books in the Glendora Hill Series

Monday, September 15, 2014

Where's the Dildo? Mocking Gay Marriage in New Zealand; Cheyenne Jackson Wedding; James Frey's Full Fathom Five

Where's the Dildo?

There's a game on Tumblr where photos are posted and people have to find the hidden dildo in each photo. I think it's amusing and the intention is pure fun.

It puts the dildo in its rightful place. Front and center. Well, sort of. I mean, it's hiding. But it's asking to be found and -- like a car wreck -- it's impossible to look away.

Dildos are our friends. Certainly a friend to the lesbian. But no reason it shouldn't be a friend to gay men and straight men and women and every other self-respecting adult.

This cute little project makes these oft whispered about toys a little less daunting. It's hard not to laugh and imagine the little guy holding its breath thinking, "She's never going to find me! Ah! Look at her looking over there when I'm over here." Just makes me giggle.

You can rad more here. It reminds me of a story. I had a good friend who passed suddenly and the day after he died his attorney phoned me and asked me to rush over to my friend's house. When I got there his attorney looked at me with a blank stare, pulled a two foot long dildo out of a shopping bag, and asked me to do something with it. Evidently, the attorney who was handling his estate didn't want my friend's family to come into town and find the dildo in my friend's closet. Of course I took the dildo off his hands, so to speak, but I always wondered why anyone would be more worried about a big latex dildo than the fact that a family member was dead.

Mocking Gay Marriage in New Zealand

This story has been making all the rounds on social media. I saw it first on Twitter, and I didn't look into it. I thought it was just about two dumb straight guys faking gay marriage in order to win a contest and get attention. As it turns out, and the reason I'm linking now, the contest was held by a radio station in New Zealand to see how far two straight men would go to win something, making gay marriage the butt of the joke.

New Zealand's The Edge radio station launched its "Love You Man" contest last month. The contest was set up to see how far two best male friends would go to win a trip to the Rugby World Cup in 2015. The Edge has apparently made a name for itself staging outrageous weddings, starting 13 years ago when they married two complete strangers.
“After the announce this morning, and the positive reception from our listeners, I am confident ‘Love You Man’ will add to The Edge’s reputation of pushing the boundaries," Program Director Leon Wratt said in an August press release. "We’re not out to offend, just to make entertaining radio.”

I like to think I have a sense of humor (I thought the dildo game was funny), but this was really bad timing. Millions of gay couples still can't legally wed and this group is joking around about it. It might be funny twenty or thirty years from now, but even that makes me wonder. We still have a long way to go as far as respect goes. In other words, be just as afraid of offending us as you are offending other loud minority groups.

You can read more here. There's a very interesting comment thread, with one comment from a m/m author I know.

Cheyenne Jackson Wedding

I'm not so sure this is good or bad. It seems that gay marriage has finally joined the ranks of Hollywood marriages, and it's become gossip worthy. You know, where they marry and divorce the same way the rest of us lease new cars every two years just so we can get a newer model.

Entertainer Cheyenne Jackson, 39, has married Jason Landau, his boyfriend of more than a year and who some media outlets are identifying as an entrepreneur (although of what it is unclear), at an estate in Encino, California Saturday night. The couple exchanged rings and vows in front of a group of friends that included Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Jane Lynch and Alicia Silverstone. The two men have been engaged since February. It’s been a controversial relationship. Last summer, Jackson divorced his first husband Monte Lapka after being married for two years and after a total of 13 years together and quickly took up with Landau, who according to a source he met at a 12-step meeting.

And they lived happily ever after.

You can read more here.

James Frey's Full Fathom Five

James Frey, who became well known with a bestselling memoir titled, A Million Little Pieces, and then even more well known when it was discovered the book wasn't all truth and he duped Oprah, has launched a digital imprint called Full Fathom Five. First, this is significant because anyone who can last in the vicious world of publishing these days gets credit from me. Second, Frey isn't questioning e-books or whether or not they will stay around. Third, the titles at FFF look damn good.

FFF Digital begins life with Amanda Black’s The Apartment, the first of many genre e-books that the new imprint believes wouldn't fit into a traditional publishing model but would resonate with digital-savvy modern readers. It's also hosting a two-month-long contest to find new authors; the prize is a publishing deal and $10,000 in cash.

You can read more about it here. In spite of some heavy criticism, Frey continues to succeed and he seems to know what his readers want. Take note that some of the bestselling titles seem to be adult romance.

Fangsters by Ryan Field

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Zachary Quinto: The Slap; Straight Men Like Anal Stimulation; Molesting Backpackers

Zachary Quinto: The Slap

Openly gay actor, Zachary Quinto, is in a new eight-episode miniseries that's focused on family issues. In one scene at a family barbeque he finally gets enough of someone's ill-mannered, rotten, misbehaving loud-mouthed kid and he slaps it. I'm not sure if he slaps it to get peace, or to teach the kid a little discipline because no one else it doing it.

The incident results in a lawsuit, exposes secrets and leads to all kinds of turmoil, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Quinto's character is a mechanic who specializes in expensive cars and is the married father of a teenaged son.

He's also described as someone who never shies away from a fight.

I see this discussion a lot lately, badly behaved kids where parents do nothing but try to reason with a child. It sounds like an interesting theme. It also sounds as if Quinto is playing a straight role, and that's not such a bad thing either.

You can read more here.

Straight Men Like Anal Stimulation

I think we all find these articles interesting, in an educational sort of way. There's a new essay out that claims straight men enjoy anal stimulation just as much as gay men. Both giving and receiving, so they say.

The hetero male’s crusade to take back anilingus (a term that, FYI, is very different from “rim job”) began months ago in GQ and NY magazine — we even explored the phenomenon back in July —  but reporter Tyrone Palmer’s piece for Gawker goes a step further. He’s pretty much already accepted that anilingus is the current trend, and wants to figure out why some straight guys still aren’t ready to say it.
Why does “booty eating” make implications about my sexuality?, he wonders aloud.

I'm not surprised. But whatever you do if you haven't done this before and you're curious please, please familiarize yourself with the term douche.

You can read more here.

Molesting Backpackers

This one is creepy and it makes me glad I never trusted anyone...ever. Allegedly, a guy in New Zealand who runs a hostel drugged and perved over young male travelers. A couple of them reported him and he was arrested.

Even worse...he filmed it.

According to police, Mr. Harris filmed his assaults and recorded himself molesting at least 16 male victims over two and a half years, mostly overseas tourists from 18-25, who were drugged so heavily that they may not even be aware of the assault.
“These victims are unlikely to know that something has happened to them, although they may have suspicions,” Detective Senior Sergeant Rhys Johnston told TVNZ.
Police believe Harris assaulted far more than the 16 men in the tapes they recovered, and noted that more than 30 more potential victims have come forward in the day since they made details of the case public. All were backpackers passing through town, including tourists from Germany, England, Scotland, and the U.S.
We hear a great deal about rape with women, but rarely ever hear about this kind of abuse with men. It happens a lot more than most are willing to admit, sadly.
There's more here, with the alleged perv's photo.

Second Chance Series: Amazon Links .99 gay e-books

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Are Gays Being Exploited? Gay Music Exploitation? Gaysploitation Films

Are Gays Being Exploited?

I was watching a film recently titled, "Snitch." It wasn't a bad film, and there was nothing political about it. But in one scene a character played by Susan Sarandon says something interesting. She's a politician running for office and she's getting pressure to get more exposure and she replies with a comment that goes something like this, "What should I do? Show up at a gay wedding?"

With that one statement her character sums up what a lot of gay people are thinking nowadays, especially gay men. I've seen comments and discussions on facebook about this, mostly the discussion is brought up by gay men who have grown frustrated to the point of giving up. I'm not going into detail here. I'm just linking to an article that talks about gays being exploited. I don't totally agree with the article either, and it's not a source I normally take very seriously. But the topic is relevant in a general sense.

In another example of liberal hypocrisy, on May 8, 2012, North Carolina voted for a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex unions. The following day, President Barack Obama announced that he supported gay marriage. Many people applauded the President, but few questioned his timing. Clearly it’s worth contemplating how many votes Obama could have changed had he supported marriage rights beforehand. It’s true that the amendment passed by a wide margin, but it seems cowardly to wait until the dust settles before telling people which side of the battle you’re on.

Again, I don't totally agree with this article, and I'm not fond of the web site because of the fact that it is so partisan. However, there's a lot of exploitation going on right now, and what bothers me the most is that people are profiting from it in big ways.

You can read the rest here. Don't shoot me for this link. I don't do this often, but this time I thought it was interesting to look at a different POV. It's extreme, but not completely inaccurate.

Gay Music Exploitation?

Last year openly gay rapper, Le1F (aka Khalif Diouf), went on a Twitter tirade about Macklemore who won an award for best music video and best video with a social message. Macklemore is a straight white male, not openly gay. Le1F blasted Macklemore for allegedly ripping off his song, and for profiteering on gays. There's a list of tweets by Le1F here, one of which is compelling, where Le1F says he's going to write a song about another group of people struggling because "mama needs a new fur coat."

And in this piece about Macklemore on Chelsea Handler, they mention the incident, too.

Openly gay rapper and producer Le1f blasted Macklemore on Twitter for ripping off his song “Wut.” He says Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop” sounds dangerously familiar to his song. Le1f also called the rapper out for profiting off the plight of gays with the song “Same Love.”

Le1f questioned Macklemore’s motives asking, “do proceeds go to any gay people? the HRC? Aids foundation? Or does this straight white man keep the money?” Later he tweeted, “News just in: gay people don’t care about your video about gay people.”

I actually didn't even know about any of this so I can't comment in detail. But it's not the first time I've seen blatant exploitation of gay people in a broad sense, and always done with the premise that the straight people are helping us and supporting us. I think in some cases they are, but that doesn't mean they get the right to usurp us or our culture. And profiting from our struggles because they know they can is even worse.

At least Le1F had the guts to bring the discussion up. No one else has.

Side note: Other's have alleged that this gay exploitation has been happening. You can read more here.

Gaysploitation Films

Here's a link to a list of films with ratings and short commentaries. I feel highly vindicated with this link because at least now I know I'm not the only one who feels this way about some of these films. You have to go there to see what I mean.

Here's that link.

Other than the links I just posted above, you won't find much out there about gay exploitation with a simple search. And I think there's a logical reason for this. I agree with Le1F the rapper when he states that gay people really don't care about Macklemore's song, his award, or the money he made...“News just in: gay people don’t care about your video about gay people.”. I didn't care about it until I started writing this post, The only reason I'm writing this post is because I saw a gay writer comment on social media and get slammed when he mentioned gay exploitation.

Up until then, I didn't care much about the topic, but I'm starting to wonder now. If you don't care about something it's not going to pop up on your radar, so to speak. There's a lot of exploitation happening all over, in all the arts, these days. Especially in book publishing. But the simple truth is that we...gay people...just don't care enough about it to complain about it. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, especially when you consider how many non-gay people are profiting on gays while gays still can't seem to be taken seriously in books, films or music...at least not completely. I think that the straight white male winning a music award for a social message about gays and not a gay artist winning an award is a good example of this. I spend a few minutes a week wondering what's happened to gay literature.

There's also a fear factor, too, all gay people in the arts must consider if they want to survive. I'm not even comfortable posting this on the blog for fear of hidden backlash from those who are profiteering, and I'm absolutely not going to promote this post on social media for fear of the arguments I'll receive. And I'm not even going into my own personal feelings. There really shouldn't be an argument about it. The gay guy should always get the last word on the gay issue, and yet so often these days he/she doesn't. It's almost as bad as being thrown back into the closet.  

Facebook Targeting Drag Queens; 5 Pro LGBT Songs; Jason Gould Sings; Nick Jonas Nude

Facebook Targeting Drag Queens

One day you hear how pro-gay Facebook is, and the next you hear that Facebook is donating large sums of money to anti-gay politicians. I wish Mr. Zuckerberg would figure out where he stands on this issue, especially because so many gay people are supporting Facebook. This time there's been talk that Facebook is allegedly targeting drag queens by forcing them to use their legal names. Facebook is asking for legal names? If Facebook asked for everyone to use a legal name not only would they lose more than half their profiles, but the stock would plummet.

In a frankly creepy overreach of authority, Facebook is going after sisters and drag queens, requiring that they use their “real names” or else risk getting booted from the site. In some cases they’ve requested users send in a copy of their drivers license to prove a name is legit.

The issue was brought to our attention by San Francisco drag personality Sister Roma, who has been forced to change her personal profile to Michael Williams — a name few even know.

You have to love the hypocrisy here...if this is true and if Facebook is actually doing this. I happen to use my real name on FB, the name everyone in my personal life knows me as, but most people don't. So where FB gets off forcing one small group to use a legal name and ignores the majority of its users is really about as good as it gets. They should simply recognize that their web site is based on lies, thrives on lies, and actually works fairly well because of these lies.

You can read more here.

5 Pro LGBT Songs

I'm reaching the end of another new gay romance and I've been doing some light research for pop/country music about gay people, for gay people, only designed for gay people. Thinks of it this way. The song, When a Man Loves a Woman, being turned around to this, When a Man Loves a Man...or When a Woman Loves a Woman. I can just hear the anti-gay group, Million Moms, groaning now.

My research is only light because I personally haven't heard much in the way of that kind of gay pop or country music coming from the hetero dominated music industry. But we do have pro LGBT songs. I get that, and I'm linking to an article that lists 5 of them right now. One of my personal favorites is Brave. I listen to a lot of satellite in the car, especially The Blend, and even though I love Brave I actually didn't know it was LGBT oriented, for lack of a better phrase, until I just read this article.

As for the best coming-out anthem of 2013, Sara Bareilles’ joyful hit pop single “Brave,” from her 2013 album The Blessed Unrest, is it. Influenced by a friend’s struggle to come out of the closet, the Grammy-nominated song has a hook made punchier by Bareilles' belting out, “Let the words fall out/Honestly, I wanna see you be brave.” The song’s video, directed by actor Rashida Jones, features Bareilles and people of all backgrounds dancing their asses off. “I think there’s so much honor and integrity and beauty in being able to be who you are,” Bareilles told The Advocate.

I love that they did this. I love the song. But it's still not When a Man Loves a Man. And that's what my character in the upcoming Glendora Hill book is talking about when he states openly he only writes LGBT music with which gay people can identify...with having to imagine it. This would only work in fiction, and even I'm stretching the idealism.

You can read more here. Yes, there are a few more songs gay people can identify with if they stretch things, however, there's not much in the way of a full fledged song or music video with two gay men singing about the love they share for each other. As least I haven't found one yet. I'm not counting the Steve Grand song because he's going indie, and I love that he's doing this. I'm talking about the mainstream music industry, especially pop country western.

This isn't the main focus of my book, but it does define the main character to a certain extent, which includes his strong sense of gay pride.

 Jason Gould Sings

I even hate to mention this because I think it defeats Jason Gould's main purpose...and I am a huge fan of his. But it's worthy of mention. Jason Gould is the son of Barbra Streisand, and I saw him perform a duet with his mother on a back to Brooklyn special earlier this year. I had no idea he was so talented, and he claims he always kept out of the music business because of his mother and not wanting to be compared to her.

'It was not something I really thought I would ever do because my mother's such an icon. I thought, "I can't open my mouth. People would compare me and I just didn't think I'd ever want to go there.

'But I also had a need to express myself and explore my own musicality.'

You can read more here, where there's a video. He's actually very good. Gould is also openly gay and has been for quite some time. He's also easy on the eyes. If I were him I'd be recording gay love songs...a man singing to a man, and seriously this time. Not the insulting comedy routines. What does he have to lose?

Nick Jonas Nude

There's a new TV show coming out with Nick Jonas, and they claim he'll be nude.

Never let it be said that Nick Jonas doesn’t give the people what they want. Following a recent evening of flashing his abs in gay bars, the entertainer stopped by Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live to share some exciting news. Jonas revealed he’ll be naked in his new DirecTV series Kingdom and the storyline revolves around homosexuality, causing Andy Cohen, like the rest of us mere mortals, to mark the days in his calendar until the show’s premiere.

You can check out a video here where he talks about it. Actually, it's kind of stupid...the video clip. And I have no idea if he'll do male full frontal nudity. We all know how that goes. I'm not even sure how people will see this show if they don't have DirecTV. But I thought it was worth mentioning for those who might be interested.

Second Chance Series: Amazon Links .99 gay e-books

Thursday, September 11, 2014

FREE Gay Excerpt; Barbra Streisand on Tonight Show; Rosie O'Donnell on Elizabeth Hasselbeck

Barbra Streisand on Tonight Show

It's been over 50 years since Barbra Streisand appeared on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson in 1963. Other than a select few, she hasn't done many talk shows since then. That's coming to an end, at least for this one time.

The last time Barbra Streisand appeared on NBC's The Tonight Show, John F. Kennedy was president of the US, The Beatles hadn't yet come to America and albums were only being released on vinyl.

Now, more than 50 years later, Streisand will return to the show which has been hosted by Jimmy Fallon since February.

They claim she'll be the only guest on that night. The show airs this Monday, September 15th.

You can read more here. I wonder if Streisand is thinking about her own mortality in the wake of Joan Rivers' sudden death, and she's interested in revisiting her own roots. It really is like going full circle in some cases. We all tend to think about those things at times. You go in for a routine endoscope and wind up dead for Labor Day weekend. In any event, I'll be watching, and it's almost a nostalgic thing for me. Or course I didn't start watching the Tonight Show until the mid 1980's, however, when Johnny Carson retired I stopped watching altogether. That's not a slam against Jay Leno. I just couldn't see anyone filling Carson's shoes...until Jimmy Fallon came along.

Rosie O'Donnell on Elizabeth Hasselbeck

Now that Rosie O'Donnell is returning to The View she's stating she's not going to miss having Elizabeth Hasselbeck there. Which is a shame, because I think the rest of us are going to miss them working together. It can get very entertaining when those two are together, all politics aside. The last time O'Connell was on The View she left over a controversy with Hasselback a month before her contract was up.

O'Donnell said this:

'Elisabeth would go into the dressing room with (Bill) and go over Republican talking points that are sent out every day, and then come out and recite what she had ingested,' O’Donnell says.

'I tried to get her to talk more about her own self and how she felt rather than being a robotic pundit.'

Hasselbeck said this about O'Donnell returning to The View:

'Here in comes to The View the very woman who spit in the face of our military, spit in the face of her own network, and, really, in the face of a person who stood by her and had civilized debates for the time that she was there - coming back with a bunch of control, ready to regain a seat at The View table,' she said.

O.O Well!

I think Hasselbeck meant to use spat, but I could be wrong about that. She's the one getting paid millions of dollars, not me. Frankly, I don't watch The View or Fox and Friends. You can read more here. But it should be interesting to see if O'Donnell helps the ratings.

FREE Gay Excerpt
Below is an excerpt from my novel, Take Me Always. It's a parody/movie tie-in with all gay characters, a great deal of gay erotica and romance, loosely based on the heteronormative (straight), The Notebook. This one is available as an e-book, or as a print book. I didn't realize it at the time, but it turned out to be more emotional than other books I've done and I think it has something to do with a gay long term relationship and two men that were never able to be married legally...unlike in The Notebook. They have kids, too, but not their own...unlike in The Notebook. I drew from many personal experiences with gay men I've known over the years. I'm posting an Amazon review, and the excerpt below that. 
Take Me Always by Ryan Field

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Love Story November 5, 2010
By Symba
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a m/m love story that goes between their lives today as old men in a nursing home and back to when they first met back in the 1950's and how they came to be together for almost 50 years.
Gregory is younger by 10 years but he is the one that develops Alzheimer's. Kadin decides to live in the nursing home with his partner just so he can be with him all the time, even though he doesn't need nursing care himself. In trying to get Gregory to remember him, he starts a blog about how they meet and their lives togher and reads it to Gregory everyday. Even though I don't usually like stories that jump back and forth between past and present, the author makes such a smooth transition between the two that I was able to totally enjoy it. I even found myself blinking back tears at the end of the book (no, noone dies). This is a wonderful love story but it has alot of hot love scenes too.Well worth reading.

Please keep in mind this excerpt is from the raw manuscript and subject to a few minor issues. It's hard to convert anything to google blogger and this works the best for me. I've also self-censored several parts to keep this SFW.

Chapter Four


“That poor boy,” Gregory said. “He should have tried to cover up the love bite. And, poor Kadin. I wasn’t sure I liked him at first, but I think I do now. He sounds very decent.”

Kadin smiled. “Gregory didn’t even realize the love bite was there. He couldn’t see it.” They were outside that morning, sitting next to the rose garden on the grounds of the nursing home. It was still warm for that time of year, and Kadin wanted to take advantage of it. Gregory always seemed more responsive outside, away from the wheel chairs and the smell of antiseptic and the moans from the other patients. “Besides,” he said, “the parents already suspected something was going on between them. They just didn’t want to mention it aloud. The love bite only confirmed all their suspicions.”

“Ah well,” Gregory said. He was staring at his sleeve. A ladybug was crawling up his arm and he was fascinated by it.

Then one of the nurses tapped Kadin on the shoulder and said, “Dr. Stern is ready to see you now to talk about the PSA test.” She reached down and held Gregory’s hand. “I’ll take you inside, sweetie, and you can work on your drawings while you wait for your friend.”

Gregory crinkled his eyebrows and tilted his head. “My drawings? Do I know how to draw?”

“Of course you do,” Kadin said, “You’re an architect. You’re the best there is.” Then he gave the nurse a look, and stood up. He knew she was taking Gregory into the sun room where he would sit with a child’s coloring book and a pack of crayons. As he turned to leave, he tapped him on the shoulder and said, “I’ll be back this afternoon and I’ll read more of the story to you.”

Gregory gave him a blank smile and flicked the ladybug off of his arm. “I’d like that.”

Kadin loped into the building slowly, smiling at familiar faces he passed on his way to Dr. Stern’s office. He could still get around without a cane in spite of the minor heart attack he’d had earlier that year. And the two knee replacements had been successful. And if he watched his sugar intake and kept his weight down, the diabetes wasn’t a problem either. He was holding his own, and he was proud of that.

When he walked into the doctor’s office, the nurse told him to go into the examining room. The one good thing about the nursing home was that he didn’t have to sit for hours in a doctor’s waiting room like everyone else.

When Doctor Stern stepped into the room, his head was down and he was reading the results of Kadin’s last PSA test. He was a good looking young man in his mid-thirties, tall and lanky, with a full head of wavy black hair that had specs of white. He looked like the type that rode one of those expensive bicycles on weekends, with tight shorts, a huge bulge between his legs, and a funny little hat. His hands were large and his fingers were long; Kadin imagined he had a nice thick cock. If Kadin had met him at the picnic area back when he was still single, he would have had him on his knees begging for xxxx.

“I do not like what I see here,” Dr. Stern said. “Your PSA levels are elevated: seven. We should talk about treatment to prevent the onset of anything serious.” He put down the clipboard and looked at Kadin. “I’ll explain the procedures and you can decide what to do. I think in your case it’s a choice between radiation seeds, or radiation treatment. Or you could just opt to remove the prostate altogether.” His voice was even, a clinical monotone as if he were reading from a book.

Kadin smiled. He hated medical talk and he’d been against the prostate testing in the first place. But he knew enough about prostates from listening to other people to know that anything above six meant that the PSA level was elevated, but not dangerous. “Or I could just not do anything and live out the rest of my life just like this.”

The doctor gave him a look, and said, “I’m not sure I understand.”

“I’m eighty-five years old,” he said. “By the time this develops into something serious, I could be ninety.” He’d just read a report about this in a magazine and he knew this was a very slow growing cancer. If the level had been higher, he would have done something. But with a PSA level like this, he wasn’t going to go through anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary. Gregory needed him. The love of his life might drift away forever if he wasn’t there every day to keep him grounded.

The Doctor smiled. “I have to tell you everything and give you all the options. It’s my job.”

Kadin smiled and stepped down from the examination table. “And I thank you for that,” he said. “And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to have lunch with Gregory.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Dr. Stern said, “I’m on my way to lunch, too.”

On the way to the sun room, Dr. Stern asked, “How is he doing?”

“Very well this week,” Kadin said. “I’m seeing an improvement. I’ve been reading him stories from a blog I’ve been working on. They’re really events from his own life and he seems to be responding well.”

Dr. Stern frowned. “You know that he’s not going to get any better, and that eventually he’ll get much worse. Sometimes our imaginations can get the best of us, and we start to think they are improving when they really aren’t.”

They’d been telling Kadin this since the blasted disease had been diagnosed, and Kadin was tired of hearing it. “I like to look on the positive side,” Kadin said, then he smiled and looked the other way so he could roll his eyes.

When they rounded the corner and stepped into the sun room, Gregory’s head was bent over the table. He was working on his drawings. There was a red pencil in his right hand and he was drawing something on the blank inside cover of the coloring book. The doctor and Kadin leaned forward to see what it was, and they were both surprised to see that Gregory had just sketched a perfect drawing of the interior of the sun room, complete with potted palms and wicker furniture.

Kadin gave the doctor a superior look and smiled. “Is that drawing my imagination?” he said.


When Gregory didn’t show up for work the next morning, Kadin wasn’t surprised. But when he reluctantly drove over to Miles’ house at lunchtime to see if there was anything he could do to smooth things over with Gregory’s parents, he was shocked to find out that they’d all gone back to Atlanta early that morning. Miles stood there shaking his head and told him he’d been just as shocked. He also seemed embarrassed that Gregory hadn’t given Kadin any formal notice that he wouldn’t be returning. They weren’t supposed to leave for a couple of weeks. Evidently, Miles hadn’t been home the night before and Gregory’s parents hadn’t said a thing to Miles about what had happened…or about the love bite on Gregory’s neck. He was still as friendly as ever. He even gave him Gregory’s address in Atlanta so he could write to him. 

After that, Kadin felt as if something had been ripped from the inside of his body. Food didn’t taste the same anymore; all he wanted to do was sleep; his nights were spent drinking bourbon until he couldn’t walk straight. The back room of his office, where he’d xxxxx Gregory over the work table so many times, now caused his stomach to turn. He only smiled when he was with his children, and sometimes even then it was forced. So a few weeks after Gregory left, he took a year off from work and moved out to his house on the edge of town. He spent his days and nights renovating the old place with his own two hands. The physical work calmed him and made him tired so he’d sleep at night, and being there made him feel closer to Gregory. He even painted the second floor shutters black and the first floor shutters white; just as Gregory had suggested the first night he’d brought him there.

He wrote him letters, one letter every day for a year. But he never received a reply. And at the end of that year, he dropped the last letter into the mailbox and decided to move on with his life. He went back to work and began practicing law again; he frequented the picnic area on Friday nights to have anonymous sex with other men. He also put the newly renovated house up for sale. He’d done a magnificent job. There wasn’t a stick of furniture in the house, but the hardwood floors gleamed and the windows sparkled. He attached two elegant, crystal finials shaped like pine cones on both newel posts of the semi-circular staircase in the center hall. When the sunlight peered through the front windows in the early morning, the crystal finials glistened with all the colors of the rainbow. But he didn’t want to live there anymore. Everything reminded him of Gregory and the summer they’d spent together.

When potential buyers came to see the house, they were all impressed with the work that Kadin had done. And they all made offers. But Kadin turned them down. He turned one young couple away because he thought the wife was too fat. He turned another middle aged couple down because he didn’t like the kind of car they drove. He wasn’t about to sell his home to people who would drive a foreign car.

And it’s a good thing he didn’t sell the house, because a few years later his ex-wife was killed in an automobile accident and he got custody of his three children.

The children brought the house to life again. And Kadin filled it with furniture and stepped into his role as a single parent with no complaints at all. Suddenly, there were sticky fingerprints on the crystal finials, bicycles left out on the front lawn and lights blazing in every window at night. There was always a pair of shoes lying in the upstairs hall, or a jacket hanging from a doorknob. He hired a full time housekeeper who worked six days a week. She prepared the meals, did the laundry and minded her own business. Life was full, but there was still something missing. At night, when the children were in bed sleeping Kadin would sit on the veranda and watch the stars, always wondering what had become of Gregory. He’d sip his bourbon and smoke, fantasizing about how one day he’d see Gregory walking up the front path with a huge smile on his face.

Then he would finally put out his cigarette, turn off the front lights, and go up to bed alone. He still slept on the same old mattress where they’d first made love; he refused to throw it away. He’d settled into a regular routine and he’d focused all his energy on his family and his work. The only real diversion he had was when he went to satisfy his strong, virile needs at the picnic area north of town on Friday nights. He didn’t have to think there; all he had to do was pull down his zipper and stand still.

The night in l956 when he met Eddie at the picnic area and took his phone number, he never expected to call him. Kadin never took anyone he met at the picnic area seriously. But Eddie was different. Kadin liked his submissive nature and his willingness to please. He also liked the fact that Eddie wasn’t interested in anything permanent. He only wanted to bend over, spread his legs and get xxxxx. But more than that, what Kadin liked most about him was that he was a real person and he wasn’t a ghost.

Gay Vets No Spousal Benefits; HRC Apologizes; Big Brother Homophobia Again

Gay Vets No Spousal Benefits

A US House Committee knocked down legislation today that have provided military benefits for same sex couples who aren't yet recognized on a state level...the same benefits all straight married couples received from the US Government. Many same sex marriages in the US are still not considered legal on a state level, but they are on a federal level. All this has to do with a law written a long time ago.

The U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling on the Defense of Marriage Act last year allows the federal government to recognize same-sex marriages and generally provide gay and lesbian married couples with the same benefits as straight ones, but a law governing veterans’ benefits poses an obstacle. That law, Section 103(c) of Title 38 of the U.S. Code, bases marriage recognition on the state where the couple lives, not the state where the marriage took place. So same-sex spouses of veterans cannot receive benefits if they live in states that do not recognize their marriage.

You can read more here. The votes followed party lines, of course, with one lone Republican who voted in favor of granting the benefits. The American Military Partner Association issues a statement stating "It’s a sad reflection on the state of our Congress when our elected officials cannot put aside their differences to end this discrimination.”

Evidently, we're going to have to be a lot more careful in the upcoming elections to see who supports what now. I used to vote according a winning candidate. Now I vote to keep certain candidates out of office.

HRC Apologizes

The Human Rights Campaign made a formal apology to the transgender community.

'I am sorry for the times you have been underrepresented or unrepresented by this organization,' HRC President Chad Griffin said over the weekend at the Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta.

'What happens to trans people is absolutely central to the LGBT struggle,' Griffin added. 'And as the nation’s largest LGBT civil rights organization, HRC has a responsibility to do that struggle justice, or else we are failing at our fundamental mission.'

I think the trans population is highly underestimated. If you think it's hard to come out as gay, it's probably ten times harder to come out as a transgender person. At least that's what I've been told by my trans friends. I actually know a gay man who is a drag performer and his family accepted him as gay, but he still has not admitted to them he's a drag performer...and he's not even a full transgender person.

You can read more here.

Big Brother Homophobia...Again

I'm not even going to link to all the posts I've written about homophobic comments made by Big Brother reality show house guests. I'm too over it and too lazy. This new one alleges that on Celebrity Big Brother in the UK house guest James Jordan, best known for dancing, can be added to the homophobic list. He doesn't think men should be dancing with me.

‘Latin dancing is about a man and a woman dancing with each other… not two people of the same sex.'

When White asks him if Strictly is allowing same-sex couples on its current season, he replies, ‘No, I don’t believe it that either.

'Just because you're gay doesn't mean you can't dance with a woman.’

 He went on to defend his stance by saying that one of his former dance idols had been gay, but that he just didn’t like the idea of men dancing with men.

'My dance idol growing up was as camp as a butcher's hook… He was totally gay. But he was the most masculine dancer you could ever meet. Why would you want to dance with men? Men with men?'

Well it's not about gay men not dancing with women. We don't mind that. It's about gay men being able to dance with other men, in public, without shame. We do mind that. I won't even dignify the butcher's hook comment.

I'm actually not blaming this on Big Brother anymore. A huge part of this show is about social interactions and how people react to them. I'm actually starting to think that Big Brother is teaching us all a few valuable lessons and they might not even know it.  James Jordan might have been the one to say it aloud, but how many others are actually thinking the same thing.

You can read more here.