Parody, Pygmalion, and Retelling Classic Storylines

Although most people know what parody is, I find that there are some who don't. So I wanted to write a short post about it, keeping it as simple as possible. (Even though writing parody isn't simple to do.)

According to Wiki, this is parody:

A parody ( /ˈpærədi/; also called pastiche, spoof, send-up or lampoon), in current use, is an imitative work created to mock, comment on, or trivialise an original work, its subject, author, style, or some other target, by means of humorous, satiric or ironic imitation. You can read more about it here.

A good example of parody would be the logo above, of MTM Enterprises. This was a parody of the old MGM logo, and clearly done very well.



Parody is something that has been done for a long time, and will continue to be used over and over again.

Pygmalion comes from Greece. The story has been retold many, many times by authors like George Bernard Shaw.

In George Bernard Shaw's play Pygmalion, a modern variant of the myth with a subtle hint of feminism, the underclass flower-girl Eliza Doolittle is metaphorically "brought to life" by a phonetics professor, Henry Higgins, who teaches her to refine her accent and conversation in social situations.

Retelling this story isn't something new. I did it, with a cast of all gay characters, in my book "My Fair Laddie." The title of my book was a parody of the play, "My Fair Lady," and I retold the story just like Shaw did, with gay characters, plenty of erotica, and distinct differences in the storyline so that it would work for gay men. You can read more about Pygmalion here.

The film, "Pretty Woman," is a classic retelling of the Cinderella story.

A modern-day retelling of the Cinderella story, PRETTY WOMAN catapulted its star, the then 23-year-old Julia Roberts, into the film stratosphere. Her portrayal of Vivian, the call girl whose low self-esteem disallows her from thinking she can live any other way, was popular not only with men but also women, seeing in her their own insecurities and vulnerabilities.

You can read more about it here.

When I wrote "Pretty Man," I did the same thing, with all gay characters, a bulter, and plenty of erotica that no one's done before. I changed the characters completely, changed the setting, reworked the entire storyline. But I did use parody with the title. I thought my gay readers would enjoy reading the Cinderella story about gay men for a change. We rarely get an opportunity like that. All those deep, emotional, dark books about gay men are great. We love m/m romances with cupackes, cute kiddies, and ribbons and bows and picnic baskets filled with puppies and kittens. We really love them. But we like to have a little fun every now and then, too...with plenty of sex!!



These are just basic concepts of parody and retelling. For those who already know this, I hope I added something in the links that said something new so I didn't bore you to death. For those who don't know anything about parody, or how classic stories have been retold in very different ways, I hope I taught you something.

Dan Brown 10 Questions; Dan Brown Viral Parody; Surviving Mean Criticism

In the 10 Questions section of this week's Time Magazine, the focus of the interview is on author, Dan Brown. One of the questions that gets interesting is the way Brown launches a book when he's finished writing it.

There are three angular boxes that I bought when I was in Costa Rica, made out of rosewood. As you remember, rose and rosewood played a role in The Da Vinci Code. One of these three boxes is held by myself, one by my editor and one by my agent. On the night before the book is released, the three boxes come together and form a giant blade and chalice, and we just thank each other for all the hard work and cross our fingers that the world likes what's about to be born.

Authors all have their little quirks, including me. I have this deal about always beginning a new novel on a Friday. I actually plan for this ahead of time. And even if I'm ready to begin on a Thursday, I'll delay beginning the book until Friday. Don't ask. I can't explain this. It makes me feel good.

You can read more about Dan Brown at Time.com.

Dan Brown Parody and Mean Criticism

Although I hate to post things like this, I'm doing it for all authors who have suffered bad reviews and have had critics parody them. It's happened to me, it's happened to people I know. Here's one article that talks about the reviews for Brown's latest book, and a parody about his writing. As a side note, I've never actually read a Dan Brown book, so I don't know anything about his writing.

The American author’s latest book came out May 14 to rather dismal reviews, with some saying the fourth book in his Robert Langdon series is the worst one yet. The three previous books in the series include Angels & Demons, The Da Vinci Code and The Lost Symbol, and were generally regarded as harmless fun despite Brown’s occasionally awkward prose.

And here is another where the critic actually parodies Brown's writing in one of the most vicious ways I've seen since Romfail. For those who don't know what Romfail is, check out that Romfail link. It was an interesting time, and several authors I know were changed forever by this one act of meanness. The reason this parody of Brown reminded me of Romfail is because someone actually set up a twitter account to parody Brown, in detail, just like Romfail.

Renowned author Dan Brown got out of his luxurious four-poster bed in his expensive $10 million house and paced the bedroom, using the feet located at the ends of his two legs to propel him forwards. He knew he shouldn’t care what a few jealous critics thought. His new book Inferno was coming out on Tuesday, and the 480-page hardback published by Doubleday with a recommended US retail price of $29.95 was sure to be a hit. Wasn’t it?

However, in the same article above, 10 Questions, Brown handles the next to the last question like we all should whenever we're dealing with criticism.

A parody of your writing style went viral recently. Do you find that kind of thing insulting?

On some level you have to take it as a compliment. Of course you hope and you wish everybody loved what you do. In the creative arts, that's just not how it works.

That fact is that you can parody anything you want to parody. You can take excerpts from a romance novel, from a mystery, and even from the bible and parody them. I wrote a whole post about this once, where a snarky blogger went after the erotic romance genre. My post showed how I could write the same snark about non-erotic romance. Though I mentioned no names in my post, the actual excerpts I used came from a best-selling sexless romance novel that certain critics LOVED and promoted until we were sick to death of it. My goal was simple: to show that anyone can parody anything, and anybody can be mean.

Brown's reaction above really is the absolute truth. Whether it is a huge author like Dan Brown, or a small group of helpless struggling authors who never harmed anyone but had to suffer through Romfail, you buck up and take the criticism. You don't complain and whine either. You can keep lists and names in private. If and when these critics fall or suffer some horrible personal tragedy you can smile and take pride in their misfortunes because you know they deserve what's coming to them (Karma). But you have to prepare yourself for the fact that not everyone is going to like what you do and you can't take that personally...not if you're going to survive as an author.

Photo attribution

The Ryan Reynolds and Conan O'Brien Gay Parody Kiss; Dustin Lance Black and Gay Rights Miniseries; More Kim Davis

The Ryan Reynolds and Conan O'Brien Gay Parody Kiss

This very brief gay parody kiss with straight white actors of privilege, Ryan Reynolds and Conan O'Brien, has been making the rounds all week.

On the November 2 episode of Conan, actor Ryan Reynolds and host Conan O’Brien surprised audiences by abruptly recreating that iconic “kissing in the rain” moment from the film — and with Conan filling in Rachael McAdams’ shoes.

The film they're talking about is The Notebook. I also did a parody of that film as an erotic romance a few years back, titled Take Me Always.  I don't parody the gay people. I parody the straight story...and very loosely. Of course I set part of it in a different time period, when the word gay didn't even exist.  I've linked to that below.

In any event, you can check out this gay parody kiss between two straight while male actors here.  I just wonder how this gay parody kiss with Reynolds and O'Brien would go over if they had been spoofing any other minority out there. Take your pick. Any other minority.

The comments are mixed. Mostly, I agree with them.

Brian

This looks very posed – like 99% of homo-erotic depictions in the media. Posed, posed, posed.



Dustin Lance Black and Gay Rights Miniseries


On a completely different note, this looks authentic and well done.

Dustin Lance Black has wrapped his miniseries on gay rights, When We Rise, after years of work and tweeted out his accomplishment and excitement for a vacation in Florida with fiancé Olympian Tom Daley.

I think it happens to be wonderful and you can check it out here.

I don't know much about the miniseries, but I'll be posting about it when I see more. Evidently, this has been a long term project for Black and I can't wait to see it.

More Kim Davis

I'm starting to think she's never going away. Only this time there's some relief. It's about the law firm that represented Kim Davis.

The law firm that took advantage of Kim to elevate their name, Liberty Counsel, has been hard at work on preparing somewhere around two dozen anti-gay bills through legislatures around the country. The group just sent out a donation-beg to support their work: “Liberty Counsel is working pro bono with 22 different states in fighting the outrageous ‘bathroom’ movement,” they say.


There's more here.

I think it's worth the read just to see what's still happening with LGBT rights. I'm glad to see that there are actually 25 comments with this one.

Take Me Always

Gay Notebook Movie Parody

Amazon

Here's part of a verified review on Amazon. I hate to post full reviews without permission. But I think it's okay to post part of one.


This is a m/m love story that goes between their lives today as old men in a nursing home and back to when they first met back in the 1950's and how they came to be together for almost 50 years.

Gregory is younger by 10 years but he is the one that develops Alzheimer's. Kadin decides to live in the nursing home with his partner just so he can be with him all the time, even though he doesn't need nursing care himself. In trying to get Gregory to remember him, he starts a blog about how they meet and their lives togher and reads it to Gregory everyday.

Chase of a Christmas Dream

On AllRomanceebooks.com

A Christmas Carol Gay Parody, "A Christmas Carl", A Gay "Get Out" Parody

 A Christmas Carol Parody, "A Christmas Carl"

I haven't done a parody like this in a while, at least not for Christmas. But I had a good time with this one. The basic story is so straight and it's so mainstream how could I not have a good time with it. And I think it still holds up today, as a gay parody and a gay erotic romance. 

An Amazon Review:

I loved this book. It was a fun and fuzzy read just what you need during the cold winter. It did make me chuckle with a mention of president Hillary Clinton but it was written in 2016 so that was the way the future was headed. Loved all the main characters and the thrilling love story that will warm your heart. Kudos for including Quinten Crisp.

Here's the link to read more.  If Hillary Clinton does become President one day, and you never really know, I will finally feel vindicated. (smile) 

A Gay Get Out Parody

For those of you who are not familiar with gay parody, here's something I love that someone else did. You see, it is okay for someone in a marginalized group to parody something that is straight and mainstream. All marginalized groups have a right to do this. 

 

The "Get Out 2 Official Trailer" follows the same story as the original but with a gay twist, and takes all of our favorite moments completely over the top. 

Here's more. Whether or not you like gay parody is not the point. There's a reason why gay people do this. 

Chase of a Christmas Dream

Amazon 

Christmas Cowboy Miracle

Amazon

The Littlest Christmas Tree

Amazon

The Computer Tutor

Amazon

Holiday Gay : Tales of Love, Lust, Romance and Other Seasonal Gifts

My short story: I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus

Amazon

Down the Basement II

Santa Saturday

Amazon

The Difference Between My Gay Parody Novels and This Mean Gay Marriage Parody Bill; Blind Gay College Student; Spencer Claus Queer Hero

The Difference Between My Gay Parody Novels and This Mean Gay Marriage Parody Bill

This vicious marriage parody bill is another reason why I've sometimes, though not always, written gay romance parody novels with straight story lines or tropes. I did it without apology, because gay people have always been considered the parody, in the meanest ways, and I got sick of it. So I created my own parodies. 

Republicans in South Carolina and Wyoming are pushing new bills to segregate same-sex weddings and legally redefine them as a “parody” of marriage.

Six GOP lawmakers unveiled the ‘Marriage and Constitution Restoration Act’ bill to the South Carolina House last week. 

You can read the rest here. The difference between my parodies and this one is that I wasn't cruel about it. I didn't mock anyone's life, marriage, or hurt them. I did it with too much ridiculous sex, and humor.

A Gay Parody

An Officer and His Gentleman

Blind Gay College Student

Here's a in-depth piece about how a young blind gay man goes about his life, from dating to basic daily routines. 

Maurício Silvia is a 22-year-old gay college student living in São José, Brazil. In many ways, he’s just like any other guy his age. He enjoys hanging out with friends, watching TV, and going on dates. But there’s one thing that sets him apart from many of his peers: Maurício is blind.

Here's more. 

Spencer Claus Queer Hero

Here's something about one of my favorite social media stars. I like people who break the proverbial molds and do things differently...and those who are brave enough to challenge what we've all been taught to believe is masculinity. That's why I wrote Kendle's Fire. I wanted to do something in my own way.  

Spencer Claus loves all things make-up. The out social media star quickly became so good at face painting that the teen artist enlisted the help of his parents for some modeling shots back in 2016.

Here's the rest. 

Kendle's Fire

A PG Rated Gay Romance

Here's the Amazon link

Altered Parts: Limited Edition

And here's the Amazon link. 

In Their Prime by Ryan Field

Amazon

Smashwords 

Uncensored Unedited Full Frontal Nudity; Mummers and Gay Skit Fallout; Aaron Schock Gay Skin Flick Parody

Uncensored Unedited Full Frontal Nudity

While I always keep this blog rated G, I have been known to post links to a few places that are NSFW. If you don't like it you don't have to click the link. Simple. And I often post these items for reasons, and with a warning. One of those reasons is the huge double standard between men and women. Another reason is that sex is still so frowned upon (and joked about) in publishing, and I think that's because most people in publishing aren't getting much of it. You can tell that just by reading almost any literary agent blog. 

In any event, here's a link to one of the best blogs out there that covers celebrity male full frontal nudity. I'm not sure how authentic the content is, but I'm linking and posting that as a disclaimer...just in case.

The Biebs got papped in Bora Bora weaing nothing but his birthday suite, and it’s enough to make you a Belieber! Check him out giving fans the full-monty after the NSFW jump!

READ MORE at http://www.omgblog.com/2015/10/omg-hes-naked-justin-bieber.php/#ixzz3wz4Qo7zn
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives
Follow us: @omgblog on Twitter

The truth is there isn't that much to post about full frontal male nudity with actors because there aren't that many actors willing to do it. I'm not quite sure why that is, but I think a good deal has to do with the double standards regarding sex in films...and in books as well. In other words, an idiot like Sean Penn can do the worst interview of all time with a drug lord, but God forbid someone sees Sean Penn's penis.

Mummers Parade and Gay Skit Fallout

I posted about all the outrage from many over a controversial skit that was done during the Philadelphia Mummers Parade this New Year's Day. It was allegedly a parody of trans people, with a Caitlyn Jenner lookalike, and there was also an alleged gay bashing incident...plus drunken gay slurs.

This is how a rep from the Mummers responded with regard to the skit:

"We meant no harm at all to anybody," said Mike Inemer Sr., a broker and part-time bartender from South Philadelphia, whose Comic group, Finnegan New Year's Brigade, performed a skit that poked at Olympian Bruce Jenner's transformation into Caitlyn.

"Finnegan Goes for the Gold" was the title of the act, timed to coincide with the 40th anniversary of Jenner's decathlon gold medal in the 1976 Olympics in Montreal.

While 350 of the brigade's 360 participants were dressed in red, white, and blue costumes, Inemer said, 10 were dressed as medical workers; members of the Kardashian family, to which Jenner is related; or as Jenner - as a man or a woman.

Some members held up signs that showed Bruce Jenner's image on a 1976 Wheaties box and Caitlyn Jenner's image on a 2016 Froot Loops box.

There's more here.

It sounds as if they're trying to work on the issue, and work with the LGBT community. I can't be certain, but I have this feeling most people out there in the world are getting sick and tired of having to be too PC all the time. And this could be their rebellion. 

Aaron Schock Gay Skin Flick Parody

Here's an interesting follow to the previous part of this post.  So it's not okay for the Mummers to parody Caitlyn Jenner because that's not PC, but it IS okay to parody Aaron Schock and bash Republicans?

Titan Men has just announced an Schock-inspired skin flick which it plans to release later this year. “Cauke for President” will follow a hot homophobic lawmaker by the name of “Mike Cauke,” who engages in a clandestine affair with a young male staffer that ultimately sets off “a chain reaction of political intrigue and… of course, sex.”

There's also a parody twitter account and website. You can check out more here.

I think it's hysterical.  I love parody. I love funny, campy porn. But I also think the Caitlyn Jenner skit was as hysterical...because I love parody.

My question remains the same. Is this any different than what the Mummers' did with the Caitlyn Jenner skit? Keep in mind that it's supposed to be parody.

 The Rainbow Detective Agency The Wedding

Amazon

Emotional Weekend: Cory Monteith; Trayvon Martin; Gay Racism

This weekend I haven't had time to post much because I've been out of the office, but two very significant events happened yesterday that I've been thinking about all day today. Although both events are totally unrelated, two young men who had families and loved ones were taken away from this earth far too early, and we'll never again get to experience the talents Cory Monteith had to share, or the talents Trayvon Martin might have had to share with the world. From what I've seen on social media this weekend, both Cory and Trayvon left an emotional impact on many people. More than I think either one of them ever would have realized. I read one facebook update about Trayvon Martin by an author last night that I know truly came from her heart.

But I have always promised that I would never discuss politics, religion, or hot topic issues on this blog, and I'm not going to comment any further on Trayvon Martin. This post is about the tragedy itself, it's not a political rant where I'm going to scream and shout who was right and who was wrong. In this respect, I agree with the statement President Obama issued:

President Obama called the death of Trayvon Martin a tragedy on Sunday. But after a verdict that sparked charged reactions nationwide, he urged Americans to focus on "calm reflection."

I'm nobody special. I'm just a small genre author who tries to entertain people as best I can, and I never expect to make billions of dollars or have large publishers knock on my door. But I also don't believe that any form of violence or discrimination has ever resulted in something positive, and to remain completely silent isn't right either.

I once read a comment that went like this, paraphrased, "Don't get into any online flame wars unless you're willing to go up on that hill and die." I wish I had been clever enough to come up with that one first. This advice works wonders, however, we all have something in our lives for which we would be willing to go up on that hill and die. And I do understand the emotional outcries that have happened all weekend for Trayvon Martin. For me, I would be willing to go up on that hill and die for anything that involves an LGBT issue, that brand of LGBT discrimination, and the form of racism/abuse gay men and women experience.

Just like any other gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgender, or queer person in the US, I experience various forms of discrimination and gay racism all the time. Sometimes it's more obvious, sometimes it's subtle, and sometimes it comes in the form of assumption. By assumption I mean that people who aren't gay decide to tell me what it's like to be gay, as if they know better and that my personal experiences as a gay man mean absolutely nothing to them. One good example I can give deals with a few books I've written that have movie tie-in themes. All of the books are my brand of parody, and I've posted about this openly so many times I'm just going to link because I would only be repeating myself if I did it again. In other words, my parodies were not taken from bestselling books like Twilight and turned into multi-million dollar bestsellers by big crafty publishers like some books I won't mention right now. And my books were never taken from gay films with gay content like Brokeback Mountain, or other gay movies, also like some books I won't mention right now.

When I was growing up there was nothing with gay content at all in the mainstream. For a gay person who liked romance of any kind there were films like Pretty Woman and An Officer and a Gentleman and we made due with what we had because we didn't have any choices. "They" gave us no choices. And to this day, I'm in my early forties and I still don't see many gay romances in the mainstream for the entire community to watch. I post about gay films all the time that are trying to get funded through kickstarter. And just look at how many studios turned down the Liberace story. They had to go to HBO. When I was growing up, the majority of the LGBT books released were hard to find if you didn't live near a small indie bookshop (most of us didn't), so we didn't get a chance to read LGBT romances either. I grew up completely void of any romance with even a hint of gay content. And the very few romances out there that had minor gay characters almost always ended up in suicide.

So I not only wanted to tackle a few age old storylines with my books, like Pretty Man with the Cinderella trope in the film Pretty Woman, but also make them lighter, a little humorous, and give them the strong erotic scenes I always thought would add to the parody. I didn't want it to be a bitter political statement, but I did want to make a statement I thought was important...and still do think is important. But what was intended to be fun and satirical has often turned into a brand of gay racism that I've experienced all my life. This is something that someone once said about a parody I wrote:

This isn't humorous or satirical. Good parodies are clearly commenting on the original author or a touchy current political event in a satirical way, et cetera. In fact, the US Supreme Court ruled that a parody is "the use of some elements of a prior author's composition to create a new one that, at least in part, comments on that author's work". This doesn't seem to be clearly commenting on anything.

That was left by someone who didn't think one of my books with movie tie-ins was satirical or a parody, which leads me to believe they don't know much about what it's like to be gay in America and face discrimination all the time. Or what it was like to grow up in America thirty years ago. I don't mind people who disagree with me or what I write, and I respect everyone's opinion completely. However, as a gay man, and as a gay man who has experienced the kind of blunt dismissal almost all gay people have experienced, I happen to think that my social comment by writing gay parodies on straight romances was not only touching on current political events (gay marriage for one), but also past political events that involved the LGBT community long before the term LGBT even originated (the fact that gay men were so closeted and hidden in Take Me Always). And once again, to dismiss me in such a way, and to question my motives as a gay man who has experienced this discrimination first hand is something that bothers me enough to go up on that hill and die.

The list of books I've written that parody straight romance movies isn't that long, at least not compared to books and stories I've written that didn't parody anything. I didn't want to make this movie thing a career goal, but in the same respect I wanted to make my own political statement by writing those books and telling the mainstream writers and producers that we're here, too, and that we deserve a movie or book like Pretty Man or An Officer and Gentleman sometimes. They don't even throw us that proverbial bone unless there's something highly sensational about the story.

I know some people get what I did, and I thank them an I truly appreciate them for getting it because it validates me as a gay person (not just a gay man: I think we're all part of the LGBT) who is still surviving inequality just by living in the Commonwealth of PA where gay marriage is not legal. They also know that I never tried to hide the fact that my books were my brand of parody...for a gay audience or for those straight men and women who like to read gay erotic romance. Gay racism, just like ethnic racism, religious racism, and rape culture, does in fact exist all over the world, not just in the US. Sometimes it comes in the form of slamming gay people, sometimes it comes by dismissing them and ignoring them, and sometimes it even comes about by telling them that they are wrong and what they've experienced as gay people doesn't matter.

But I know deep down that anyone else who is gay out there knows what I'm talking about. You know how excited you were when you first watched that Harvey Milk documentary in PBS many years ago, or when you saw a minor gay character in a movie when you didn't expect it...even if he or she jumped off a bridge in the end. Or how excited you were when Will and Grace came on TV in the 90's. And you were excited for one reason: you had nothing else with which to identity in the mainstream. The feedback I've received from younger gay men and gay men of all ages with the movie tie-in books has been phenomenal. They understood the parody and they even identified with the characters in the books. And that's the most important thing, and the most cherished thing any writer can expect. It makes the gay racism easier to deal with for those who don't get it, or are unwilling to acknowledge it.

So this past weekend was very emotional for a lot of people, especially in the LGBT community with the loss of Cory Monteith. Monteith was part of a TV show that broke ground for the LGBT community, even for those who didn't like the show as much as others. He was, in many ways, the ultimate hero at times on the show. At least he was for me. I don't watch Glee religiously, but Monteith was one of the main reasons I did watch.

The magnitude of the tragic death of Trayvon Martin has been felt ten times over each time something related to his death has happened in the past year or so. And the most recent event was the verdict in the George Zimmerman trial. I've seen such hurt and such disappointment it's hard to write this post. As I stated earlier, one woman author I know wrote something so eloquent I felt a sting in my eye without even realizing it. And I'm so used to racism and discrimination that doesn't happen often for me.

We have race issues of all kinds in the US. I'm not going to get into other parts of the world because I'm not familiar with them. But we have to continue to work on things here in the US in order to move forward and to make things better for kids of all ethnic backgrounds, including LGBT kids. And once again, I'm going with the President on this one, and I'm not coming from a political place right now. This is coming from the heart:

 We should ask ourselves, as individuals and as a society, how we can prevent future tragedies like this. As citizens, that's a job for all of us. That's the way to honor Trayvon Martin.

A blogging author I follow who is a straight white male wrote a middle grade book that I read and loved. He recently posted about his book, which included a mixed-race character, and how he thinks we need more mixed race characters in YA and middle grade books. After that one post, he lost more blog followers in one day than he'd ever lost before.

Rob James-Collier Gay Kiss; FREE Excerpt; Tale of the Burping Penis

I found a web site the other day where you can create your own comic book covers and I decided to parody a review I once received for a book I wrote that talked about a burping penis. Of course this was at least four years ago and it's long been forgotten, however, I still see it mentioned every now and then in far off remote places on the Interwebs. The review itself wasn't the most flattering I've ever received, but certainly not the worst either. I'd written a parody of the TV show American Idol (American Star) and I'd made an off-handed reference to the size of a penis and how it was so large the mc could have thrown it over his shoulder and burped it. So it really wasn't even a burping penis, but we all know how that goes.

I've always thought that review was significant to one thing in particular. And that's the difference between the way some gay men and some straight women think. (Not all; just some.) I have never read a book reviewed well on that site that I would find entertaining, especially any book with gay content. Sometimes I've found books reviewed poorly that I've loved. In fact, when I really can't figure out what to read next I often go there and look for bad reviews just to find something I'll love. It never fails.

Oddly, I have many good women friends in my real life, both gay and straight. And many good women friends online, too. One of my characters once made a snide nasty comment about women and when my editor said I should remove it because it sounded sexist I listened. I didn't want my women readers to get insulted, even if it was the character's personality (he was a sexist shit). So I really do care about things like this when I'm writing and the last thing I want to do is insult women.

Don't me wrong. I'm not complaining about the review four years later either. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard myself when I read it. In a way it was actually a parody review of a parody. Unfortunately I don't think that was on purpose because I don't think the reviewer knew that some gay men tend to have a vicious wit sometimes and often parody penis sizes and other things they find funny...in a harmless way. I think she tends to think of us as these politically correct types on TV shows like Modern Family. In any event, it was an amusing, innocent review and you can't fault some straight people for not understanding gay people. They don't always get all the information they should be getting. It's our job to educate them.

In any event, here's a link to the web site where I came up with the comic book cover. You've been forewarned. You might wind up there for a few hours.

Rob James-Collier Gay Kiss

For those who don't know, Rob James-Collier is the actor who plays Thomas in Downtown Abbey. Thomas is gay, and not sure how to survive in the post-Edwardian era. He's also extremely aggressive, extremely attractive, and extremely horny all the time. And there was one scene in season three where he sneaks into the bedroom of a new servant...an adorable young man...and kisses him while he's sleeping.

Keep in mind this didn't just happen on the spur of the moment. Thomas was lead to believe that the new young servant was highly attracted to him, and Thomas has been attracted to him for a long time. But even knowing this, and knowing how a gay man would have been so careful to protect his sexuality in those days, I found it hard to believe that scene would ever have happened in real life. But it did make for entertaining fiction, and what young gay man on earth wouldn't want handsome aggressive Thomas sneaking into his bedroom in the middle of the night to steal a kiss. Pure fantasy and escapism. Plus, Rob James-Collier is NOT the kind of man you'd kick out of bed either.

The scene almost reminded me of that gay adult entertainment site, "Gay Creeps," where good looking gay guys sneak up on other guys while they are sleeping and do very naughty things to them. Once again, pure parody. I can only imagine how the reviewer I mentioned above would react to a web site like this. Why I'm sure she'd pull her pencil skirt down below her knees, then shudder and cross her legs (this is vicious gay wit).

As far as I know, Rob James-Collier is straight, but he's also a damn good sport:

Downton Abbey star Rob James-Collier has revealed that kissing his co-star Ed Speleers in the scene where his character Thomas got caught stealing into Jimmy’s room and planting a kiss on the sleeping servant, was a pleasure to play.

"That guy Ed Speleers (who plays Jimmy) has got really soft lips," he joked.

"If you're going to kiss a man, let it be a beautiful man like Ed Speleers. I'm not going to demand a beautiful guy. I'd kiss ugly guys as well, but if they're good looking... it's a bonus."

Well done, sir!

Excerpt From New Bad Boy Billionaire Book

I've hit the midway point in the latest book of the Bad Boy Billionaire series I've been writing this year. Right now it's tentatively titled: The Silicon Valley Rake. But that will change. This book is set in Cupertino, the main character is a billionaire who started a web site called "Lovemetender.com," and he's probably the worst bad boy I've done so far.

I'm actually having trouble liking him myself at this point in the book. For one thing, he owns this web site where he will never allow sockpuppets or fakes, and yet he has his own fake accounts on the web site. He lies to other men, he throws tempter tantrums when things don't go his way, and he basically has no regard for anyone but himself. And I'm going to have to find a way to soften him. And I think that I'll wind up doing that by showing that he's playing a dangerous game and all the money in the world isn't going to protect him.

The one thing I did differently in this book than I've ever done before is to make him extremely comfortable with women. In a way, this shows his softer side. I found that while writing his character, and showing how competitive he is with other men, he needed a balance. So I made him extremely comfortable with women. The only character in the book he likes so far is a woman. And I tried hard to do this without making it a stereotypical gay man straight woman relationship. Notice how I don't use the FH word for women who are friendly with a gay man. THAT word is one I don't like at all. I think I hate it even more than I hate being referred to as queer.

Here's a brief excerpt, in its raw form, without editing:

 

In a section of town not far from other large Internet companies, he owned the building complex that housed the offices for lovemetender.com. Unlike the high and mighty space ship nightmare of one large tech company he preferred never to name aloud, Shannon’s building stood low and unobtrusive. It had originally been an underwear factory that also made sweat socks and jock straps. He’d purchased the old fifty thousand square foot complex in a shambles and had it renovated to perfection. He’d kept it simple, dignified, and as minimalist as everything else in his life, with exposed walls of brick, simple black and grey logos, and stained concrete floors. He’d won awards for this building, too. Partly because of the way he’d designed it to be so ecologically responsible with solar panels to maintain the seventy degrees he loved, and partly because of the attention he’d paid to the original architecture. The ultimate goal would be to have it listed as a historic sight.

            Shannon pulled into a parking space up front near the main entrance, the one with his name on it. He knew the other cars in the parking lot either belonged to the maintenance staff or to the administrative assistants he employed. As an online business, lovemetender.com required twenty-four hour customer service at all times, and Shannon, unlike other online social networks he knew of, took this seriously. He truly believed this concentration on detail, and this need to treat his customers with care, had helped to make him a billionaire. But more than that, he also believed that by keeping his employees as happy and comfortable as possible his business ran even smoother. It wasn’t that he had any deep concern for them; he just liked making money.

            “Good morning, Karla,” he said, as he entered the main lobby. He knew every employee by name.

            “Good morning, Shannon,” she said. All his employees called him by his first name. Some found this awkward, but he insisted.

            “You’re looking nice today,” said Shannon. She wore a bright orange blouse and thick silver jewelry with bright green stones. The color combination suited her extremely dark complexion well. She’d come from the West Indies and spoke with a charming accent. The cleaning service he employed to take care of the office complex and his home had sent her to his home to do a routine cleaning. The first day he’d met her four years earlier, on his way to work, he’d found out she’d worked for a doctor and that the only job she’d been able to get in the US was as a cleaning person. At the time he’d needed someone smart, friendly, and personable for the main lobby desk. He’d spotted her talents and hired her on the spot. After that, he went to work getting her a green card and making her a legal resident. He’d done more for her than anyone had ever done, and now there was nothing she wouldn’t do for him. And he knew this.  

            “Thank you, Shannon,” she said. “You’re looking as handsome as always. One of these days we’re going to get you and account on lovemetender.”

            He smiled and said, “We’ll see about that.”

            He continued walking back to his office in the main part of the building. The irony of his life often made him smile. He’d made billions with lovemetender.com, as a social network where people met online, grew to know each other, and fell in love. And he’d never had a real love relationship in his entire life. He dated often; he had sex more often than that. But he’d never actually had a partner for any length of time and didn’t even have his own account with lovemetender.com. This wasn’t by accident. He truly felt he couldn’t be objective if he did have his own account. He’d always found that observing how others met online and feel in love instead of actually doing it he could always maintain a sense of bipartisanship. He also thought online dating was a complete waste of time.

            When he reached the outer offices that led to his private office, he found Justin Blake standing in front of a long concrete counter top where they kept coffee supplies and tall glass jars filled with every single candy sold on the market. Justin Blake was twenty-four and he’d been hired fresh out of Stanford. He had ash brown hair, a lean lanky body, and always wore tight skinny jeans to work. To look at him people might have assumed he leaned slightly to the obnoxious streetwise side. But when he opened his mouth to speak, he sounded more like an attorney during a deposition. He articulated each word with great care, never dropping a g or rushing through a sentence.

            Shannon stepped up behind Justin without making a sound. As Justin leaned forward to grab a handful of M&Ms from a tall glass jar, Shannon checked to be sure no one was watching and grabbed his ass. He squeezed hard and said, “If you keep eating those things you’re going to wind up with child-bearing hips.”

James Franco/Charlie Rose; CA Transgender Law; Mean Girl Parody

James Franco/Charlie Rose

A friend sent me the link to an interview with Charlie Rose and James Franco. As you would expect with any interview Rose does, this one is more focused on Franco's book, Actors Anonymous, and insights about why Franco always seems to push himself harder than most actors of his generation. At the time this interview was aired Franco was studying for his Ph.D at Yale, in English Literature.

You can view the full interview here. I had no issues watching the full interview with that link on my iPad. However, I did have a few with my PC and I'm not sure why. So if you are using a PC and you can't see the interview in full, you can check out clips, here.

I think it's interesting for authors to watch how Franco responds to some of his critics. He also takes a few swipes at bloggers, which I also found interesting because it's all very friendly. There are nasty bloggers for profit out there. Most of whom don't get it when someone is real and not trying to screw around. And the only way to deal with THEM is to keep it real.

You can read my review of Franco's book here.

CA Transgender Law

There's a law in California that allows transgender kids in schools to use the bathrooms of their choice, among other things important to the well-being of transgender kids. There's been a group trying to challenge that law, hoping to repeal it, but they've lost ground thanks to a technicality involving signatures. Once again, this can all be traced back to NOM, The National Organization of Marriage, an anti-gay group that would rather have us all go back into the closet so they can pretend we don't exist.

NOM president Brian Brown (pictured) has claimed the law was part of a wider conspiracy to end traditional gender roles in the United States and has claimed that allowing transgender students to use showers and bathrooms according to their gender identity is damaging to children.

Masen Davis, executive director of the Transgender Law Center, expressed relief that the referendum has not qualified for the ballot and is hopeful a full count will not alter that result.

'As we wait for a full count of the signatures we will continue to help schools implement policies that ensure all students are able to participate, and we will continue to share the stories of transgender youth and their families,' Davis said.

Why NOM always feels so threatened just passes me by. Whether they like it or not traditional gender roles in the US are changing and it has nothing at all to do with gays. In fact, I sometimes think there's more gender politics in some gay relationships than there are in some straight relationships. And whether we like or not, most gay relationships are adapting to more traditional heteronormative lifestyles in ways that often frighten some gay people from a cultural POV. I've proven that myself in several of the parodies I've written on hetero romance films like An Officer and HIS Gentleman.

Brian Brown needs to take a course. You can read more here.

This is also why we need legislation written up that can't be challenged so easily.

Mean Girl Parody

Speaking of parody, there's a video out where gay men do a take off on the film, Mean Girls, that shows how this kind of parody can be done. The mean girls are the Ken Dolls. But there's a fundamental problem with it I mention below. And it falls into the category of "so you thought you knew all there was to know about gay men."

From the mind of Todrick Hall, the genius who brought us "CinderFella," comes "Mean Boyz," a parody video to celebrate the cult classic "Mean Girls," which will have its 10-year anniversary this April.

Unfortunately, for those who don't know the real inside info on gay culture, this also hits a little too close to home for any gay people who have ever lived in what's considered a "gay ghetto." And the parody aspect of this video loses ground because it really can be like this with gay men in any "group" situation. I've seen this before, too, and you'll just have to trust me. I'm just keeping it real. I have known some gay men who can rival the nastiest, most vicious mean girls who have ever walked this earth. There are even a few right here in New Hope (smile).  

You can see the video here.

Gay Parody: Stepbrothers In the Attic; Faye Dunaway On "Mommie Dearest"; Polyamorous Gay Love Relationships

Gay Parody: Stepbrothers In the Attic

I'll have a new book coming out in a few months titled, Step Brothers In the Attic, and as the title suggests, clearly, this will be a gay parody of Flowers In the Attic. This will be one of the first parodies I've done in a while and the only reason I'm doing it is because a publisher approached me about it.

It's still so new I don't even have edited excerpts yet that I can share. I will soon, but right now I'm still working out issues in the plot, and dealing with how I think the characters should be portrayed. It hasn't been easy either. I didn't even know where the story was going until last week. And that's because I didn't want this to be a dark, creepy book. It's a parody. It's not a tribute of fan fiction to the original book or movie. There's a huge difference. I hope people find it a little campy at times, and a little peculiar, too. I didn't see any other way it could be done, at least not with a book like this that has such a controversial theme.

With all that said, I also get into certain issues that still haunt gay men. Reparation/Conversion therapy is one of them. I can't go into details about how this comes into play in this book, but I thought it worked well considering the general story line. It's actually been the first time I've ever been able to work Conversion Therapy into any story line, so I hope readers will find that part a little different.

I will definitely post more in the coming weeks, with release dates and links. I'll post an excerpt, too, as soon as I have one I think is ready to go.

Keep one thing in mind. In the original story, the controversial theme revolved around incest. However, in this parody, the controversy revolves around two gay men who fall in love and raise a family. I'm not by any means comparing gay love to incest. That should be abundantly clear. What I'm doing is showing that there are people out there who think one is as bad as the other.


Faye Dunaway On Mommie Dearest

Speaking of campy parody, here's an article that discusses how Faye Dunaway has always felt about doing the film, Mommie Dearest. In spite of the fact that millions of people have loved that film time and again, and quoted from it every chance they can get, she's not too thrilled with it herself.

“I think it turned my career in a direction where people would irretrievably have the wrong impression of me,” she says, “and that’s an awful hard thing to beat. I should have known better, but sometimes you’re vulnerable and you don’t realize what you’re getting into.”

“It’s unfortunate they felt they had to make that kind of movie,” she continues. “But you can’t be ashamed of the work you’ve done. You make a decision, and then you have to live with the consequence.”

I loved it...and so did many of the people in the comments. You can check that out here. 


Polyamorous Love Relationships

This is an off-beat piece about polyamorous relationships, which I know nothing about so I can't comment too much in detail.

Polyamorous love. Is it all it’s cracked up to be? How could you possibly know until you’ve given it a try?

Writer Jeff Leavell and his husband Alex have been together for almost five years. A year and a half ago, they opened their relationship up to include a third man, Jon, and the three became a triad.

You can read more here. I have personally known guys in three-way long term relationships and I've never seen one last. They always think it will. They always claim how wonderful it is in the beginning. But in the end, one always winds up becoming the third wheel on that proverbial wagon. That's just from what I've seen personally, with friends. I'm not making a broad generalization.

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