Transgender Bathroom Laws; Harvey Levin's Ties To Trump; John Barrowman Launches Pro-Trans Campaign

Transgender Bathroom Laws

I think this topic is going to be around for a while.

A new poll found more than half of Americans oppose anti-trans bathroom laws.

The poll asked respondents how they felt about laws prohibiting transgender people from using the bathroom of their choice.

53% of respondents disagreed with anti-trans bathroom bills, according to the national poll by the Public Religion Research Institute.

You can check this out here.

Harvey Levin's Ties To Trump

Openly gay Harvey Levin of TMZ fame had a meeting with Trump and it sounds as if his staff isn't pleased at all. The poor dears sound downright perturbed. I think Harvey might have to put a safe space in the TMZ newsroom.

 ‘All I can tell you is everyone thinks it’s really gross,’ a person with knowledge of the situation tells TheWrap.

‘Many people in the newsroom are uncomfortable with Harvey’s overall Trump coverage.’

Trump’s chuminess with Levin comes at a time that he has declared war against most mainstream news organizations including CNN, The New York Times and the Washington Post.

Here's the rest. They make it sound as if poor Harvey killed a kitten.

John Barrowman Launches Pro-Trans Campaign

He's always doing something positive. And it's usually something interesting and creative. I agree that we need to stand in solidarity with this one. Many of us fail to remember that there are a lot of people who fall under the umbrella of LGBT who are fighting for equal rights.

John Barrowman turns 50 on Saturday (11 March) and he is using the milestone occasion to make a statement.

The Arrow star took to Instagram to share with his more than 650,000 followers his first T-shirt campaign of 2017 which supports transgender equality.

You can check this one out here.

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Have Lots and Lots and Lots of Sex; Mr. Clean Is One Hot Daddy; Chris Salvatore Cares For Elderly Neighbor

Have Lots and Lots and Lots of Gay Sex

I thought this was wonderful. Of course you have to "get" the context first, which many in the comments didn't seem to grasp. However, I think the general point behind it is brilliant and empowering.

Davey Wavey interviewed LGBT Historian, Tim McCarthy, and McCarthy made some spot on comments...along with an abridged lesson in LGBT history.

Have sex. Have lots and lots and lots of sex. Sex has always been a revolutionary act, especially queer sex. It both honors the protest that’s required to stand up to the world around us, but it also honors and validates who we are. So, number one, if that’s all you can do, you’re still doing a great thing, okay?

But there's so much more. I promise that's not all this interview is about. You have to actually watch it to see what I mean. McCarthy talks about strength, caring, all the things that are positive about people who fall under the umbrella of LGBT.

You can watch some of the video here.

And, you can also read books about gay sex, love, and romance.


Mr. Clean Is One Hot Daddy

It's Friday. Sometimes you need to just focus on the lighter side of life. Or, sometimes you just need to get away from creeps like that Milo Yiannapapadolapolis.

It’s a long-established fact that Mr. Clean is a stone cold fox. You know, as far as animated fictional brand mascots go.

But despite his reputation for bringing all the boys to the yard, we were simply not prepared for the newest commercial from the company, set to air during the Super Bowl.

You can check out the video here.

It's actually funnier than it is sexy, at least I didn't find anything sexy about it. But you might feel differently.

Chris Salvatore Cares For Elderly Neighbor

Chris Salvatore is a rare breed. He's an openly gay actor in Hollywood, and, he's got a huge heart.

As grotesque as the general landscape is out there, it’s important to remember that not everyone is a craven opportunist hoping to misdirect people from their blackened hearts.

Case in point: Openly gay actor Chris Salvatore, who, apropos of nothing, has taken in his 89-year-old neighbor Norma Cook (and her cat Hermes.)

There's a lot more here, with photos and gifs.

We were caregivers for both my mother and father and I always tell people it's one of the most rewarding things anyone can do in life. And when it's over, you'll miss that care-giving more than you ever imagined.

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Roxane Gay, Simon and Schuster, and Milo Yiannopoulos; RPI Marty Tyler Moore; Hate Crime Attack On Palm Springs Gay Couple

Roxane Gay, Simon and Schuster, and Milo Yiannopoulos

Here's an article that's been trending on Twitter all day. Evidently, feminist author, Roxane Gay, wasn't thrilled with the fact that Simon and Schuster worked out a big book deal with gay conservative pundit, Milo Yiannopoulos.

Gay was scheduled to release How to Be Heard with TED in March 2018, but she told BuzzFeed News she “couldn’t bring herself” to turn in the manuscript after hearing Yiannopoulos’ book would be published by the same parent company. “I was supposed to turn the book in this month and I kept thinking about how egregious it is to give someone like Milo a platform for his blunt, inelegant hate and provocation,” Gay said.

While I support her strong beliefs, and even though I won't be reading Milo's book any time soon, I do support Milo's right to get it published. But please don't get me wrong, I applaud Roxane Gay for standing up for her beliefs, because I'm not fond of slick, clever political pundits like Milo who spin and twist and exploit situations and emotions for the sake of making a good, fast buck.  I just wanted to be clear about that. In general, that's a huge issue in our society. So many people are too willing to trust these pundits...all of them.

I'm sure Roxane Gay will find a new home for her book. And if she doesn't, she can contact me and I'll pub it for her, in digital and print, and she can charge her readers less than Simon and Schuster would have.

You can read more about Roxane Gay here.

Simon and Schuster made their statement already about publishing Milo's book.

“We do not and never have condoned discrimination or hate speech in any form,” the company said in a statement released Friday. “At Simon & Schuster we have always published books by a wide range of authors with greatly varying, and frequently controversial opinions, and appealing to many different audiences of readers. While we are cognizant that many may disagree vehemently with the books we publish we note that the opinions expressed therein belong to our authors, and do not reflect either a corporate viewpoint or the views of our employees.”

You can read more about that here.

RIP Mary Tyler Moore

I discovered The Mary Tyler Moore Show a few years ago on one of those cable channels that plays old sitcom classics all the time. The minute I started watching I was hooked. It's hard to beat Moore's brand of comedy, and it's impossible to find her kind of talent anywhere these days. She was one of those people who are destined to be great.

“Today, beloved icon, Mary Tyler Moore, passed away at the age of 80 in the company of friends and her loving husband of over 33 years, Dr. S. Robert Levine,” her spokesperson Mara Buxbaum said in a statement. “A groundbreaking actress, producer, and passionate advocate for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, Mary will be remembered as a fearless visionary who turned the world on with her smile.”

You can read more about that here.


Hate Crime Attack On Palm Springs Gay Couple

This is a little disconcerting. We're heading out to Palm Springs for the month of March and part of April. I'll be tweeting and posting from the road about the trip. It's a cross country road trip, with an 8 year old poodle and a 15 year old Westie we adopted a year ago.

And I just read about this...

Two men who attacked a gay couple in Palm Springs during Halloween weekend in 2015 have pleaded guilty. The crime may have contributed to the death of one of the victims who was a well-known gay rights activist in the area.

Christopher James Carr and Keith Edward Terranova have admitted to assaulting George and Christopher Zander near the city’s main gay nightlife district.

You can check this out here. Very sad story that goes into more detail. If something like this can happen in gay friendly Palm Springs, it can happen anywhere.

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"Call Me By Your Name:" Insulting Gay Hype or Real Gay Romance; Church of England and Gay Clergy; Transgender Kids Join Girl Guides

"Call Me By Your Name:" Insulting Gay Hype or  Real Gay Romance

Admittedly, I don't have enough information about the movie, Call Me By Your Name, to speak about it as thoroughly as I would like to in this post, however, I will be following up on this one. And I think that's because I thought we had moved on from the Brokeback Mountain days, where straight people wrote about gays, straight actors played gays, and everyone but gay people exploited gays. However, for all I know, I might love this film and I'm really not making any statements. I'm just wondering.

Just the fact that Armie Hammer is playing gay makes me wonder. Colton Haynes couldn't have played the part? Seriously?  

Again, I'm not certain about Call Me By Your Name, and that's mainly because I haven't read anything in the gay presses yet. I depend on them for information like this and so far all I can find on Call Me By Your Name is media hype like this over-written review...

It’s summer, and Elio is 17, so obviously that field is love and sex. Elio is handsome, a beanpole topped with a thicket of dark curls, so he’s got the interest of some French girls staying nearby. He’s interested in them too, but is not pulled to them in the same way that he’s drawn inextricably to Oliver, the 20-something grad student boarding at Elio’s family’s house while he works with Elio’s father.

That's what makes me wonder. No young gay man is "pulled" to girls. I would imagine there are bisexuals who are, but not gay men. We're interested in men. How do I know that? I know that because I was a young, horny gay teenager who couldn't stop thinking about men. And the only reason I'm wondering is because this film is being aggressively promoted as a "gay" film.

Now, here's a review written by a woman...

If it ends up with heavy-hitting competitors, all the better — but this swooningly lovely film from director Luca Guadagnino (“I Am Love”) is going to be tough to beat. I’d call it the next “Moonlight” or “Brokeback Mountain,” but that would entirely belie its entrancing and — really, could it be? — mostly upbeat tone.

That's not the first reference I've seen to Brokeback Mountain either. So it appears that we're all being flung back to the 2000s when gay marriage was still illegal in the US, and not all that much has changed...at least according to this woman reviewer. But that could be a misleading review. I don't know.

If you do a simple search for Call Me By Your Name, you might get lucky like I did and find something from a gay POV. It's not a review, it's only a press release. But the people who left comments are gay men. Keep in mind they are talking about the book, not the movie.

One said this...

I have no problem with a book portraying love between two straight men but this one was pretty homophobic.

Another said this...

It's nice to see that i'm not the only one. I totally hated the novel.All were fantastic reviews and people who loved the book, but i hated it.Aciman's prose is fantastic but i didn't liked the story or the characters at all.And i find incredibly annoying the praise Aciman's got for being an straight man writing a gay novel.

And this one is the most interesting...

There's nothing "gay" in the book. It's about two straight men feeling sexual attraction for each other. The younger character make fun of gay people in the book. In the second part of the book they chase women together.

Those are all direct quotes from the comment section. They may or may not be accurate. I'm not forming any opinions yet. I'm only posting the facts as I've read them so far. I'm not even sure if it's a real gay romance, you know, a gay romance with a happy ending where just once the gay characters live happily ever after.

I'll follow up soon. Some are calling this a gay "classic."


Church of England and Gay Clergy

I don't know about anyone else out there, but I find this article pretty sad. That gay clergy have to live this way...still. Where's the outrage? Where are the protests?

The Church of England is considering plans to ignore the sex lives of gay clergy.

Current rules state gay members must be celibate or change jobs.

The House of Bishops are considering today proposals to overhaul the system to become something like ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’, so gay people would not be directly asked about their private lives.

There's more here. And just why aren't we screaming about this? We all know that being gay is not just about sex.

Transgender Kids Join Girl Guides

In more positive LGBT news, at least this is happening. I'd also like to add that when I post about these things I don't think in terms of only gays in the US, I think in global terms that includes all LGBT people under the umbrella.

Transgender children as well as transgender women in the UK are finally allowed to join the Girl Guides.

Since its formation in 1910, the Girl Guide Association has strictly been a single-sex organisation.

However, moving with the times, the organisation has recently added new guidelines, opening its doors to new members who were ‘assigned male at birth’ but ‘self-identify’ as female.

There's more here. Of course not everyone is thrilled about it, but that's going to take some time just as it always has in the past when it comes to anything LGBT.

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The Blog For Gay Bathhouse News; George Michael Mural In Sydney; Tom Goss Showering With Men Almost Made Him Asexual

The Blog For Gay Bathhouse News

The other day I saw a tweet where someone compared a politician to Hitler because that particular politician was complaining about the press for sharing fake news. The tweet made it sound as though that was the only kind of censorship or media control in Nazi Germany, without mentioning the fact that the worst kind of media control back then was the propaganda promoted by Hitler through the press. You can read more about this here. I'm not going into detail about it. I'm just using it as an example.

Unfortunately, I often see the same brand of media manipulation happening all over the Internet nowadays, and it happens often in mainstream news. It's not as bad as what happened in Nazi Germany, and yet it's still a form of propaganda that's designed to camouflage the truth. There's only one kind of gay person they allow us to see, and only one kind of gay life they want you to know about. And that's because it suits their agendas. However, they rarely ever post about the real aspects of gay culture, like the bathhouse blog I'm linking to right now.

I've been following this blog for about ten years and it's still moving forward. It talks about the kind of gay news so many gay men have always been familiar with. Here's something from one of their most recent posts about a gay clergyman who allegedly has an addiction to gay saunas...

Sex addicted clergyman has been fired from his position after his wife exposed his double life of hookers, orgies and gay bathhouse visits.

Following the wife’s whistle-blowing over his secret life, a disciplinary hearing ruled her husband would be banned from ministry for life over his conduct.

You can check that out here, along with the rest of the blog. It's well written, simple to navigate, and still remains relevant to this day. And I can promise you that you won't see them talking about this on CNN.

George Michael Mural In Sydney

Here's something else the PC news media would never report (or explain) to the mainstream about gay culture. It's kind of an artistic religious parody (St. George) much the same way I've parodied straight movies with erotic gay romance books, and the image is holding a joint in one hand and poppers in the other.

Sydney-based street artist Scott Marsh just put the last finishing touches on a splashy 20′ mural immortalizing pop icon George Michael, which you’ll find on the corner of Bray and Flora in St. Peters.

Important detail: Since patron saints tend to cradle some sort of magical talisman, Marsh thought it wise to paint a joint and big bottle of amyl into Michael’s paws.

You can check that out here, where there are a few comments already. And for those of you who only see what they let you know about George Takei, Neil Patrick Harris, and Ellen, amyl nitrate has always been a part of gay culture. You don't have to like it. You just have to know about it.

Tom Goss Showering With Men Almost Made Him Asexual

I think they're exaggerating the true meaning of asexual here again, but I get the point they're trying to make and I don't think that's being exaggerated. Most gay men like Tom Goss are just as confused.

The Son of A Preacher Man singer recently told The Fight magazine that for a long time he thought he was asexual and was actually considering becoming a priest.

But being around a group of young, musclebound college wrestlers pumped full of testosterone didn’t have any affect on Goss.

“These were 18–22 year old men, beautiful and with bodies to die for, I didn’t find them attractive either,” he said. “As a result I just assumed I was asexual.”

I think many gay men can identify with that. You can read the article in full here. It goes on to mention that Goss did, in fact, enter a Catholic seminary. And there's a video of his music.

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Coachella's Owner Replies To Anti-Gay "Fake News"'; Milo Yiannopoulos and Gofundme; Urban Outfitters and Trans Inclusive Ads

Coachella's Owner Replies To Anti-Gay "Fake News"

The other day I posted about the fact that the owner of the Coachella Music Festival has allegedly donated to anti-gay causes. He was quick with a very strong response.

Recent claims published in the media that I am anti-LGBTQ are nothing more than fake news — it is all garbage. I unequivocally support the rights of all people without regard to sexual orientation. We are fortunate to employ a wealth of diverse individuals throughout our family of companies, all of whom are important to us — the only criteria on which they are judged is the quality of their job performance; we do not tolerate discrimination in any form.

“Both The Anschutz Foundation and I contribute to numerous organizations that pursue a wide range of causes. Neither I nor the Foundation fund any organization with the purpose or expectation that it would finance anti-LGBTQ initiatives, and when it has come to my attention or the attention of The Anschutz Foundation that certain organizations either the Foundation or I have funded have been supporting such causes, we have immediately ceased all contributions to such groups.

There's more here. Sometimes I wonder if we're a little too quick to judge sometimes. I think he sounds sincere, and I don't think he is anti-gay.

Milo Yiannopoulos and Gofundme

I can't tell you how much I hate trying to spell this guy's name. But this is news, and I think the reactions are interesting. This article alleges that MY is spreading "hate" on college campuses. When the truth is that MY is nothing more than a slick pundit with a clever act.

MY has, however, gained his popularity through going after people who tend to get offended too easily, too quickly. He's the opposite of politically correct and his followers support him and his lectures through the crowdfunding web site, Gofundme. And this article is claiming that what he's doing is against the TOS regulations of Gofundme.

According to Gofundme’s terms of service, you can’t use the crowdfunding platform for “the promotion of hate, violence, harassment, discrimination, terrorism, or intolerance of any kind relating to race, ethnicity, national origin, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, sex, gender or gender identity, or serious disabilities or diseases.”

There's more here. They go on to mention how much money is raised to hear MY speak. Frankly, I really don't like pundits of any kind. But he's obviously resonating with certain people, and there's free speech to consider. And the best thing about free speech is even though the government can't arrest anyone for what they say, you don't have to listen to it.

Urban Outfitters and Trans Inclusive Ads

This is something I think we're going to see more often. Urban Outfitters just launched an ad campaign that celebrates diversity in various forms. From all kinds of body types to a trans model.

At any rate, Urban Outfitters even included a trans model, which is delightful and also becoming increasingly commonplace for ready-to-wear brands. UO’s model is Hari Nef, who is 24 and recently appeared in a Blue Velvet-themed shoot for Love magazine. (Speaking of things that millennials won’t recognize.)

In addition, Diesel just launched a campaign that puts trans people front and center in their advertising material. Their names are Benjamin Melzer and Loiza Lamers, and they are just about as chic as they come.

You can check that out here. There are photos, too. And there is a twist to this story that you can read about in the comments. But some of the comments tend to be misleading, so here's a link to an article in Snopes with more about the owner of Urban Outfitters, Richard Hayne. 

It's interesting to note that the Chief Executive of Business for Urban Outfitters, Glen Senk, is an openly gay man. I don't want to get into all that because my focus here is only on the fact that UO included a trans person in this new ad campaign, and I don't want to ruin that. However, I do highly suggest reading the article at Snopes, in full, before you start to judge anything from the comment section.

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Robin Williams Turned Down For Harry Potter Film; Conor Kennedy Defends Gay Friend; 2016 Sex Scandals

Robin Williams Was Turned Down For Harry Potter Film

First, I loved Robin Williams. I was a huge fan of his, and all of his films. He truly was one of the best. 

However, when I read this article about why he was turned down for roles in Harry Potter, I couldn't help thinking about the many times I've posted about gay actors who have been turned down for gay roles in Hollywood. Openly gay John Barrowan was turned down for the part of Will in Will and Grace. Hollywood gave the part of Will to a straight actor, so that he could play gayface. I don't think it's a matter of whether or not an actor can play a particular role. Eric McCormack did a wonderful job in Will and Grace and I do think that Will and Grace was a great show for its time. But I hope we've moved on since then. I think it's more about cultural appropriation and respect to the minority nowadays. If you're coming from a place of privilege you may or may not get that. But anyone who is part of a minority will get it.

And this was interesting...

When it comes to Harry Potter, a slew of iconic actors have donned wizarding robes for the film franchise. Actors like Alan Rickman, Michael Gambon, and even Maggie Smith have all starred in the critically acclaimed series. However, you may have noticed something about the films’ cast; All of the talent is British. Author JK Rowling and the team behind Harry Potter at Warner Bros. were insistent that all talent in the films were British. Of course, most fans were and still are pleased with that decision, but there are a few who likely resented the decision.

“Robin [Williams] had called [director Chris Columbus] because he really wanted to be in the movie, but it was a British-only edict, and once he said no to Robin, he wasn’t going to say yes to anybody else, that’s for sure,” she revealed. “It couldn’t be.”

You can read it in full, here.

I have no doubt that Robin Williams could have played a role in Harry Potter beautifully, however, I do have doubts about cultural appropriation and that's because I've seen too many straight actors playing gayface in Hollywood. And I just think we need to evolve a little more.

Conor Kennedy Defends Gay Friend

The grandson of Robert F. Kennedy, Conor Kennedy, was recently arrested in Aspen because he defended his gay friend against alleged homophobic slurs.

The Aspen Times reports that the brawl began when a group of men began harassing Kennedy’s gay friend with antigay slurs.

According to reports, Kennedy asked the men to apologize, and that’s when things got physical.

There's more here. There's a photo of Conor, and the police are investigating the homophobic allegations.

I think that's wonderful, and Conor Kennedy is clearly against bullying. But I'd also like to read more about the gay guy that beats the hell out of the straight guy for screaming homophobic slurs. Many of us can defend ourselves, and we don't let anyone screw around with us or our friends. Someone should warn them.

2016 Sex Scandals

It wouldn't be a New Year's Eve post without something like this...

There’s nothing we love more than a juicy political sex scandal. And, lucky for us, this year offered up plenty! From filthy phone sexing governors, to strip poker playing mayors, to naked people impersonating dead presidents and terrorizing quiet suburban communities, 2016 just kept on giving. We can hardly wait to see what 2017 has in store.

Here's the link.

Have a happy and safe New Year!!

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Paying Tribute To Debbie Reynolds; Five Truths About George Michael; RWA On All Romance Ebooks Closing

Paying Tribute To Debbie Reynolds

Here's a piece where celebrities pay tribute to Debbie Reynolds. This is what Debra Messing said, in part...

“Debbie went to be with Carrie. She always worried about her. Carrie left too soon and now they are together again. My heart is literally broken. For 8 years she was my mom. She was pure energy & light when she came on stage. She was loving, and bawdy, and playful- a consummate pro- old school and yet had the work ethic and investment in her craft of a new fiery up and comer. She was always running off to Vegas or somewhere else “on the road” to be a hoofer, to sing and dance and make people laugh. She performed 340 days out of the year. An inspiration on every level."

You can check the rest out here. I'd almost forgotten all about Reynolds' connection to Messing.


Five Truths About George Michael

Here are five facts about the late George Michael you may or may not know...

1. His band, Wham!, was first Western pop artist to perform in the People’s Republic of China, in 1985

Queen and the Rolling Stones also wanted the historic gig, but after 18 months of appeals and negotiations by Wham!’s management, Chinese authorities granted the duo the opportunity to perform in Beijing and Guangzhou (formerly known as Canton), performances that documented in the film Foreign Skies: Wham! In China. 

You can read them all here. 

That I didn't know.

RWA On All Romance E-books Closing

RWA is short for Romance Writers of America. They posted something about the sudden closing of All Romance E-books, too.

RWA finds it unconscionable for the owner of ARe to withhold information so long and to continue selling books through the end of the month when the company cannot pay commissions. RWA contacted ARe but has not yet received a response.

You can view this one here.

All this makes me wonder one thing: what's next?

Uncertainty

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All Romance E-books Shutters; Ignoring Writing Rules and Rejections; George Michael Rehearsing In l992

All Romance E-books Shutters

Update: I've seen seeing links all day to this topic, and this one goes into great detail.


When I posted about small start up e-publishers shuttering yesterday, I had no idea about this.

It is with a great sadness that we announce the closing of All Romance eBooks, LLC. For the first year since opening in 2006, we will be posting a loss. Despite efforts to maintain and grow our market share, sales and profits have declined. The financial forecast for 2017 isn't hopeful. We've accepted that there is not a viable path forward.

Their sites will go dark on December 31.

You can read the rest here, at the web site. It's a polite message, but this does come as a shock to many people. And, I've seen some backlash. If you do a search on Facebook with the hashtag #allromanceebooks you'll see what I mean. People are not thrilled about this. 

I happen to believe that in the future all indie authors will be selling their books on their own web sites, which will benefit readers because the prices will most likely be lower and readers will have direct interaction with authors. 

Ignoring Writing Rules and Rejections

I haven't linked to Anne R. Allen's blog in a while, and when I saw this post on social media I couldn't pass it by. It's a post written by Ruth Harris on the topic of rejection, and those so-called writing rules.

Just like a lot of things, rejection isn’t always what it seems to be. Writers need to put that stack of rejection letters into perspective. Sibel Hodge turned 200 rejections into the #1 spot on Amazon’s bestseller list and a great career with Amazon’s imprint, Thomas and Mercer. Joe Konrath got rejected by his publisher even though his books were selling and making money for the company and went on to become an indie superstar making more money than he ever did with a publisher.

If you're an author, you should check this out. I never link to things like this unless I totally agree with the content. Here's the rest.

George Michael Rehearsing In l992

This is one of those vids you'll want to see more than a few times.

The year was 1992, and reeling from the loss of Freddie, the stars aligned for a tribute show for the fallen Queen frontman.

Watch, and feel free to let the tears flow, as George Michael absolutely nails “Somebody to Love.” David Bowie hangs out in the wings, cool as ever, in total approval.

You can watch the video here.  It's really that good.

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My 3 Biggest Personal 2016 Rants; Grindr's New Publishing House; Why I Might Be Starting to Love James Franco Again

My 3 Biggest Personal 2016 Rants

I rarely rant on this blog these days. I try to keep things positive, mostly because I don't like to rant. It's counterproductive and I'd rather be productive.

With that said, there are some things that got on my last gay nerve this year.

First, what's up with THAT author who becomes your best friend on Facebook, never stops commenting on your status updates, treats you like you're a member of his/her family, and then vanishes into thin air one day, only to be found doing the same exact thing to someone else? It's happened to me several times over the last 15 years and I never understand it. Who does that? Who just befriends a total stranger, treats them like a best friend for months at a time, and then vanishes as suddenly as he/she turned up? It's always so hard to realize that you've been duped by someone you think of as a friend.

Second, don't let anyone take over your social media accounts. If you're an author...or anyone with a public profile...don't let an assistant or an intern or ANYONE represent you on social media. It never works out. I've seen that before, too. I've seen it several times in 2016. When I do see it happen, I always wonder what that person with the public profile is thinking. Do they really think that anyone can represent them as well as they could represent themselves? And, do they really think we don't know?

Posting a status update or a tweet is the easiest thing in the world a person with a public profile can do. All it takes is a phone, a password, and a finger. The biggest celebrities all do it themselves and they don't rely on managers or assistants to do it. I wouldn't even let Tony post on social media for me. That's my identity. So don't let anyone else represent you on social media because you might wind up being misrepresented and no one's going to tell you. They're going to look at the Facebook statuses someone else posted for you, and they're going to roll their eyes.

Third, 2016 wasn't the best year for me, but not because of politics, and not because of celebrities I never met dying. I lost my father in May, I lost one of my dearest lifelong friends (Mary) in March to ovarian cancer, I lost two old friends this summer, and just recently I lost one of my closest friends to cancer. It was so sudden I still find it hard to believe. He was diagnosed 3 weeks ago, and he was gone the Sunday before Christmas.  I don't post these things on social media when they happen because I prefer to keep them private. The only reason I'm mentioning them now is to make a point.

We also lost Eric Arvin on social media. Eric was an author who battled a rough illness with courage and dignity. I never got to know him personally, but on social media I knew him well and I found him to be an inspiration...for years. He was a real life hero.

I realize that a lot of the 2016 complaints are laced with sarcasm, and I get that and I know how to laugh along with it. There's nothing wrong with sarcasm and I've done it myself. But when I see people posting seriously about the fact that 2016 sucked for them because their political candidate didn't win, or some silly celebrity they never even knew died, I can't help but make a face and wonder WTF is wrong with that. I can only assume these people are too young to have experienced much real sorrow in life, or they have no feelings for people who have suffered valid real life losses. The former I can forgive, the latter, no way. There are a lot of people who have experienced real life hardship and real life sorrow in 2016.

Grindr's New Publishing House

According to this article, the hook up app, Grindr, just launched a new publishing house, and just released a new coffee table book.

Home features a series of portraits of gay men who Lambert connected with through the app, as well as other social media sites like Facebook and Twitter. In true Grindr form, the models are all young, thin, and naked, with a tendency toward Anglo.

You can check this out here. The book cover itself is actually done in very good taste. I'm not sure about the rest, though. But it is interesting that even Grindr has a publishing venture now, too.

Why I Might Be Starting To Love James Franco Again

I've always been on the fence about James Franco. I love his fiction, but his other projects make me wonder. As far as we know, he's straight, and yet he's always working on something gay related. I don't totally get that. However, he is consistent, and I like that. He continues to create gay films when no one else in Hollywood is doing that.

Two years after its much-publicized Sundance premiere, Justin Kelly’s I Am Michael is finally hitting theaters on January 27th. Hark?

James Franco plays Michael Glatze, the gay activist who wound up becoming the face of the ex-gay movement after “finding God” and deciding to do an abrupt about-face and marry a woman.

There's more here, and there's a trailer of I Am Michael. The comments are not kind, and they do make a few valid points. However, the topic itself is interesting and I probably will see this when it's released.

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San Diego Pride; Carson Kressley On the Apprentice; Nico Tortorella Opens Up

San Diego Pride

Merry Christmas!!

It looks as though San Diego Pride will move forward. There was a little kerfuffle about this.

The conflict started when LGBT Community Pride reserved the location and dates of the 2017 Pride while San Diego LGBT Pride ran the event in the past. The double booking caused confusion in the city of San Diego since it was unclear which group would be leading the parade.

Leaders of the two groups have come together and decided LGBT Community Pride would disband.

You can check this out here.

Carson Kressley On the Apprentice

We stopped watching all reality shows like The Apprentice a few years ago. Not for any particular reason either. We just got tired of them, and listening to them repeat the same lines over and over again. "I'll go tally the votes," and, "You're fired," really started to get on our nerves.

With that said, I guess people are still watching these reality shows...

Carson Kressley has never really left television for long since Queer Eye ended nearly a decade ago.

Next month, he returns to living rooms again on a weekly basis as he competes on a Donald Trump-less The Celebrity Apprentice on NBC.

The show has had openly gay competitors before including George Takei and Clay Aiken but has never had a gay winner.

You can check out the rest here.

Nico Tortorella Opens Up

This one is about a bi-sexual actor named Nino Tortorella who talks about his worst break-up ever. I like him, and I like the fact that's he's so open about being bi-sexual.

Some years were better than others,’ he writes in TheBerry.com. ‘There were times we were happy, had amazing sex, felt like kings. There were times we beat the shit out of each other. Toxicity in relationship form. He was abusive but told me he loved me. Convinced me even, then punched me in the face. Sid and Nancy. Obsessed. Addicted. Volatile. Violent. Highs and lows. Ebbs and flows.’

This is actually a "thing" in more gay relationships than people would imagine. In fact, you rarely hear about it. I've seen it. There's abuse just like in some straight relationships, and sometimes it's physical. And it's not just limited to gay men. Gay women can be just as abusive. I've seen that, too.

You can read more here.

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Gay Stereotypes In Fiction: Unabated; North Carolina Rejects Repeal of Trans Bathroom Law; Colton Haynes On His Mental Health

Gay Stereotypes In Fiction: Unabated

I moan about gay stereotypes here on the blog sometimes because we see them happening in real life all the time. And when this happens, especially in a news story, it can be frustrating because it creates assumptions that may or may not be true.

However, another truth is that stereotypes are real and almost everyone has to deal with them. From doctors to gay men. Everyone. It may not be politically correct, and it may hit a few nerves sometimes, but it's not always possible to ignore the proverbial elephant in the room.

In many of the books I write I try to break down stereotypes, which is what I'm doing right now with my latest WIP that isn't even titled yet. In this particular case I'm trying to break down the stereotypes within the gay community that deal with tops and bottoms. I'm trying to break down the stereotypes between what's masculine and effeminate. And there are definite stereotypes out there about tops and bottoms, and butch and fem. They are not always accurate.

I think the most dangerous stereotypes are those that aren't accurate. They are exaggerated and exploited. They profile people in negative ways, creating discrimination, pain, and even fear. That kind of stereotype bothers me the most because it cuts to the soul.

However, when a writer works on a novel he/she cannot ignore the fact that they've experienced certain realities in life, and he/she is going to draw from those experiences. With that said, I drew from my experiences with gay men when I wrote Unabated. I also did that in An Officer and His Gentleman by using the gay stereotype of the young gay man who gets shunned by his family because he's gay.

So Unabated might have a few stereotypes, but this time it couldn't be avoided. And they weren't done in a mean-spirited way that promotes discrimination or negativity. Those stereotypes happen in RL all the time, and I wasn't going to self-censor in order to be politically correct. And I wasn't going to rewrite gay culture as I've always known it. I think that's one of the most dangerous things a writer can do: self-censor to please the PC review police. I've had editors ask me to do that and I've always regretted it when I did it.

I guess my general point is that gay stereotypes can't be avoided sometimes. No matter how hard we try to ignore them, they exist in gay culture. If you're a gay man, and you've been around gay men all your life, and you're being truthful, you know that better than anyone else out there.  And when you get a chance to break the inaccurate, most discriminatory stereotypes down, that's just as important.

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North Carolina Rejects Repeal of Trans Bathroom Law

This is disheartening, especially for those who live in North Carolina and don't agree with the law that bans transgender people from bathrooms.

North Carolina's Senate on Wednesday voted against repeal of a law that restricts transgender restroom access and has put the state at the center of national debate over lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights.


The legislation to repeal the law, known as House Bill 2 (HB2), was defeated by a vote of 32-16, leaving the bathroom restrictions in place statewide.

You can read the rest here. This law is reminiscent of so many horrible laws that were in place years ago that sparked the civil rights movement. And it's still happening today, only this time with trans people.

I don't think this will go down well in history.

Colton Haynes On His Mental Health

Colton Haynes has been very open and honest about his issues with anxiety, and you don't see that kind of honesty often. For the most part, mental health is not discussed as openly as it should be. I also think this is a good example of how so many gay men feel, and what they experience.

Remembering how different life used to be. I’m often called “Miss Memory Lane” by my closest friends due to the fact that I always look at old photos hoping to relive the memory. But what I’m finally realizing is that I can’t and wouldn’t want to go back to that headspace ever again. So clouded and unsure about myself, my life, my privacy, my mental health. I’m finally in a position where I can say I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

You can read the entire quote, here. It's a quote from an essay in People.

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Zsa Zsa Gabor Timeless Quotes; Straight Guys and Dude Sex; The Gay Christmas Ornament Freaking People Out

Zsa Zsa Gabor Timeless Quotes

When I think of Zsa Zsa Gabor I always think of earlier days in Hollywood where things were more glamorous. Of course it was all an illusion, but it was an illusion that entertained people.

This piece to which I'm linking has ten famous quotes from Gabor:

“I believe that in life you should always take the serious things lightly and the light things seriously. This attitude of mine gets me into a lot of trouble.”

You can read the rest here.

RIP, Zsa Zsa

Straight Guys and Dude Sex

Evidently, there's a difference between gay sex and "dude sex." Don't laugh too hard when you read this.

Tony Silva is a researcher at University of Oregon who recently did a study on the growing phenomenon and just published a paper called Bud-Sex: Constructing Normative Masculinity among Rural Straight Men That Have Sex With Men about it.

According to Silva, dude sex (or “bud-sex”) is when two guys, usually from a rural area and who identify as straight, hook up together in a discreet, NSA sort of way. They have wives. They have kids. They consider themselves to be heterosexual.

You can read more about this here. 

I've been reading these things all my life, and hearing them, too. And even though it sounds good, I can't help but wonder if these guys are closeted bisexuals, or closeted gays, pretending to be something they aren't.

If you check out comments, you'll see that most people tend to agree with me. One guy even said, "Stop normalizing the closet."

Amen.

The Gay Christmas Ornament Freaking People Out

If you don't have a sense of humor, or you're too religious, you might want to pass on this one.

There are, in fact, two Christmas ornaments raising their ire — one featuring two Virgin Marys chillaxing in a manger with little baby Jesus, and another featuring the aforementioned pair of freewheeling Josephs.

There's more here. There are photos of the gay ornaments. Check out the comments with this one, too.

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Italians, Marriage, Gays, and Fidelity; Cindy Brady, Again; James Franco Smacking Guy's Bare Ass With A Chicken Wing

Italians, Marriage, Gays, and Fidelity

This is something that surprised me a little. It sounds valid, and I did check other sources. 

An amendment to Italy’s Civil Code would remove references to “fidelity” from the institution of marriage, following the model adopted for Italy’s gay civil unions.

Passed earlier this year, the Italian civil unions bill omitted references to fidelity and marital faithfulness, and referred simply to “moral and material support” and “cohabitation.”

And this is interesting, too.

A 2010 Gay Couples Study conducted by Colleen Hoff at the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality, San Francisco, found that 47 percent of gay couples had “sex agreements” that specifically allowed sexual activity with others.

You can read the rest here. The bill has passed the Senate and is under review. I know it's a very conservative publication and I'm linking to it on purpose to prove a point. This is how people who don't know get an exaggerated impression of gay couples. Here's a link to another article in the Telegraph.  

I'm not familiar with the study in San Francisco, but I do know a lot of gay couples. And that study was done over six years ago before legalized gay marriage. The gay couples I know are mostly monogamous. That's just from my personal experience. And they are gay couples of all ages. I'm not knocking open marriages, gay or straight. I just don't know if it's realistic to mention gay couples this way without doing extensive research, everywhere, and finding gay couples who are willing to participate. I would never participate in a study like that. I'm on the fence with this one.

Cindy Brady, Again

Last week I posted about how Susan Olsen, who played Cindy Brady on the TV show The Brady Bunch, made gay slurs on the radio and was ultimately fired as a result.

Here's a new twist...

‘This is only about me supporting Trump. And I still do!’ she writes in Facebook post.

She adds: ‘And by the way, how does one get fired from a job they were never paid to do?’

Whether she was paid or not, LA Talk Radio took her off the air for using anti-gay slurs against a gay actor in a Facebook message made public.

Here's the rest.  You can read the gay slurs she made at this link.

James Franco Smacking Guy's Bare Ass With A Chicken Wing

You have to admit that even a new James Franco story is a nice diversion from politics these days. Franco's actually talking about a scene he did for a film while he was playing James Dean.

‘Well in this version Paul had kind of changed it … there he is picking stuff up and it’s not tea anymore – it’s Kentucky Fried Chicken.

‘And his pants are down at his ankles, his ass is out … I’m supposed to get on his back and like ride him and say like, “Ride the pig! Ride the pig!” and hit his ass with a chicken wing.’

There's more here, with a video. It's a good video of Franco being interviewed by Stephen Colbert.

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