I started getting into blogging about eight years ago when blogging was still a new adventure for so many personal bloggers. Then I worked for bestgayblogs.com reviewing and interviewing personal bloggers, which was fun. In my own circle, I follow a lot of publishing blogs and even a few review blogs. And the one thing that always shocks me is when I see a published author leave a negative comment on a thread.
Personally, I've never left a negative comment on anyone's blog thread. It's rude and distasteful. I've left curt comments from time to time. But nothing that could come back to haunt me. Most decent people don't. They read blogs, take into consideration that the author of the blog is inviting them into their personal space, and they are polite. And unless someone is directly attacked on a comment thread and they have no choice but to defend themselves, things go smoothly.
However, I've also seen a few rants and rages that have left me speechless. Some from unpublished authors, and some from published authors. In almost every single case, the rants are not in self-defense. They are pointed at someone directly, and often without any cause or provocation. It's as if something just set them off and they went berserk.
In one particular case, an author went after me on a comment thread and I didn't even find out about it until months later. It happened on a romance review blog. The post wasn't about me, but my name came up in the comment thread and one author whom I've never met or been in contact with started trashing me for no reason. In the original version of this post I inserted the quote here. But I decided to remove it because I'd rather not stoop to that level. I do know who the author is; I've checked her out. She writes m/m romance and I've checked out her blog, too. But I'd rather not mention her name and take the high road. One, because what she thinks means nothing to me. Two, because if she was stupid enough to leave a comment like this on a blog thread there's no use wasting time with her. Clearly, she's been faking it for a long time.
What was even worse is this author didn't know much about me. I tend to be quiet and remain in the background where it's peaceful (smile). When she made this sarcastic remark about me she either assumed she was going after a new writer with no defenses, or that I was publishing under a pen name. In both cases, she was dead wrong. Ryan Field is my name, not a pen name. I'm not a fake. I write m/m fiction because I'm openly gay and I care about the genre. And furthermore, I was published with Alyson Books and other lgbt print publishers in more print books than I can count long before I started writing m/m romances for the digital market. I've been in publishing for over eighteen years now, and my relationship with print publishers and their wonderful editors began long before this author even knew there was a market in writing m/m fiction.
The point of my story isn't about me. This is just an example that actually happened once. The real point is that authors should always be careful where they comment and how they comment, on comment threads or anywhere. And if they can't be careful, they should take a deep breath, go for a long walk, and remain silent until the mood passes. Though I wouldn't post the author's name who tried to trash me in public, I certainly have a low opinion of her both professionally and personally and I always will. Because any author who would go after another author, unprovoked, in such a catty way can't be taken seriously. So please don't make this mistake. It could come back to haunt you one day.
7 comments:
I think I must be missing something. The comment doesn't read as saracastic or negative to me. It sounds like she's saying "hey, this cool publisher is putting out print versions of these digital books, isn't that great?"
Maybe in context with other comments it's more clearly negative, but is it possible there's a breakdown in communication here? :)
I should add that even if the comment in question IS a misunderstanding, the lesson remains the same. Plenty of very well-known authors have gotten tripped up by leaving rude, nasty comments various places online.
"Maybe in context with other comments it's more clearly negative, but is it possible there's a breakdown in communication here? :)"
You're right Shae. I should have clarified this. I'll fix it. But in context witht he other comments, it was sarcastic and mean.
Some days I swear I must love the taste of foot in my mouth, I get into too much trouble saying things. But I would NEVER post nasty things but I know those that do. They have high opinions of themselves and that pretty much sums it up. Case in point:
My own sister left this review for my book Red Riding Hood on my publisher's site:
"I lost so many brain cells reading this book. Seriously??? Who reads this knod of drivel?"
Can you tell I obsessed over it since I can still quote it? (((lauugh bitterly)))
I don't believe that she knew her name would be posted because I know her MO. Sher wanted me to think a stranger thought I sucked.
People have no idea how cruel words can be in real life but to put it to pen or keyboard takes a 'special' kind of person.
The person we need to ignore by taking the high road!
Wow! Thanks for commenting Deanna.
I think there's something about the anonymity of comment threads that invites people's craziness to flow freely. I learned that it was in my best interest not to read comments and message board posts about my work. I think it might have been around the time that someone described my painting "Noah's Gay Wedding Cruise" as looking like Rosie O'Donnell and Clay Aiken had sex and threw up on a canvas. That same thread had several remarks about how Satan must surely be guiding my hand to paint such trash. Not much constructive criticism to glean there!
Thanks for commenting, Paul. I didn't realize artists had to deal with this sort of thing, too.
For what it's worth...I've only seen and heard good things about you and your work.
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