Valerie Harper Cancer Miracle; Matt Bomer Married; Shakespeare Gay?; Anti-Gay Words

Valerie Harper Cancer Miracle

I think almost everyone I know over thirty has had to deal with cancer in one form or another, from personal experience to dealing with family or friends who've been diagnosed. Tony and I will be at Memorial Sloan Kettering in New York  all day tomorrow and Friday while a family member has a third round of cancer surgery, and then helping out another family member over the weekend who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. So when I see articles like this one about Valerie Harper and how hard she fights I think it's important to point them out.

When I read and reviewed Harper's book in 2013 I also posted about her cancer diagnosis.

After being diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, Valerie Harper was told by doctors that she could have as little as three months to live. That was 13 months ago. Now, Valerie is talking about her miraculous treatment with ET.

"There's so much more I want to do and you are right there with me, ET," said Valerie, 74. "I am not suffering. I am not in pain, so I'm really blessed."

Valerie's type of cancer is difficult to treat but fortunately she's reacted positively to her medicine.
"I just had a great response to a certain drug," Valerie explained. "I was supposed to be dead by Easter [2013]."

You can read more here. I think she's another example of pure inspiration.

Matt Bomer Married

I actually just assumed this was the case, and that Bomer was married to his longtime partner/husband, Simon Halls. But it wasn't officially announced until recently that Bomer and Halls were married in 2011 before Bomer came out.

The star of TV's White Collar and of the upcoming HBO movie The Normal Heart has revealed that he and longtime partner Simon Halls have been married since 2011 to Details magazine.

The couple are raising three sons: an eight-year-old and six-year-old twins.

The fact that he didn't disclose this sooner doesn't surprise me either. Even though we wound up in a marriage documentary with Vermont Supreme Court Justice Beth Robinson marrying us, that was all an accident. Tony and I wanted to keep it all very quiet and simple. We've been together for twenty-one years and after all that time it becomes a very personal experience.

There's more here.

Shakespeare Gay?

I remember hearing these things back in college...maybe even high school when I took British lit. And I think we'll always speculate on whether or not Shakespeare was gay or bi-sexual. This article lists twelve possible reasons that might prove he was.

What can we know about Shakespeare’s relationship to Anne Hathaway, an older woman, who he married and had three children with? Well, very little.

The two married when Shakespeare was 18, she was 26 and already pregnant with their first child Susanna. Most famously, when he died, Shakespeare gave her only one thing - the second best bed.

This is viewed by many as a slight and a claim of how he had come to dislike her, viewing the marriage as a trap away from his free life in London.

To be frank, none of the points mentioned seem very strong to me. But they're still interesting to read.

Anti-Gay Words

I have posted about the word "tranny" often, as it relates as both a familiar term within a segment of the LGBT community and also an offensive term in other segments of the LGBT community. The debate continues. (I don't use it.)And this next link talks about what words are appropriate or inappropriate nowadays. I saw a new romance novel out with "queen" in the title and even though I know it's a word many gay men use when referring to each other I'm not sure I would ever title a book with the word "queen." If I were to use it in a book I would explain that this is only how some gay men speak, not all. It's not that I find it offensive. I just think it's had its day.

The interesting thing is that with almost all of these words and terms there are two sides to the story.

 In last month’s New York Time’s article The Decline of the ‘H’ Word Jeremy Peters wrote that while the word ‘homosexual’ for the most part is ‘inoffensive,’ ‘outdated,’ and perhaps ‘innocuous,’ the word nonetheless is viewed by many in our LGBTI community as a pejorative term.

According to George P Lakoff, a professor of cognitive science and linguistics at the UC, Berkeley, because many still associate the word ‘homosexual’ with sexual deviance, the preferred terms are ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian’.

I find it hard to use the word "homosexual" in blog posts or even in books. In fact, I don't think I've used it more than once in over 100 novels. I really do find it hard to use because it does have negative associations for me, and it's also somewhat clinical...a term straight people use when they don't know what else to say because the word "gay" makes them feel uncomfortable.

In any event, you can read more here. There are several important points, and all come with a certain amount of controversy.

PA Judge Fast Ruling for Gay Marriage; Valerie Harper Dancing with Stars

PA Judge Fast Ruling for Gay Marriage

As I posted earlier today, a judge will rule as to whether or not Montgomery County Clerk, D. Bruce Hanes, was acting illegally by issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples.

A judge promised to rule as quickly as possible after hearing arguments Wednesday about whether a suburban Philadelphia court clerk should be forced to stop issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

Commonwealth Court Judge Dan Pellegrini said a central issue is "how power is allocated in the commonwealth of Pennsylvania."

"What's before us today is generally, 'Who decides?'" Pellegrini told the full courtroom in Harrisburg at the start of oral arguments.

Pennsylvania is the only northeastern state that does not allow gay marriage or civil unions. A 1996 state law says a marriage must be between a man and a woman, and it says same-sex marriages performed elsewhere cannot be recognized in Pennsylvania.

D. Bruce Hanes, the elected register of wills in Montgomery County, defied the ban in late July by issuing licenses to same-sex couples, as part of his duties as the orphan's court clerk. His action followed the U.S. Supreme Court's decision to throw out part of the federal Defense of Marriage Act, and a statement by state Attorney General Kathleen Kane that the same-sex marriage ban was unconstitutional.

I think the important thing to remember here, along with the laws, is who will go down on the right side of history. And it's moments in time like this that tend to define people in more ways than one.

Valerie Harper Dancing with Stars

When I read and reviewed an autobiography by actress, Valerie Harper, last winter, I posted it, along with other information about a cancer diagnosis that only gave her a few months to live. Since then, Harper has gone into remission, has become a huge inspiration to all of us, and she's going to be part of next season's Dancing with the Stars.

"I said, 'Give me one good reason,' " Harper recalled. "He said, 'You have cancer! Get up there, and show people that you can dance and do -- and the doctors said it's fine to exercise. Encourage people to move, to exercise, to do all the things that will be good for them, and mainly not to sit in the house and glower and worry and feel sorry for yourself because you have this disease and anything else.'"

Exercise is generally encouraged for patients, according to the American Cancer Society.

"At one time, patients with cancer, especially in the advanced stages, were often told by their doctor to rest and limit their exercise," the organization's website says. "But newer research has shown that exercise is not only safe and possible during cancer treatment, but that it also can reduce symptoms and improve quality of life."

 

It's not always easy to exercise. I know how hard it is because I have been doing a three to five mile run early every single morning of my life for the past twenty years. At this point, I don't know how I would live without that morning run. I can't even imagine.

 

And if I couldn't run, I'd walk.

 

Here's another article with more about Harper.

 

 

Ode to a Blog Titled: "Eirik's Mind"

When I first started my own blog, after years of interviewing personal bloggers for bestgayblogs.com, I wasn't sure whether or not I'd like blogging. Though I'd always loved reading blogs and getting to know other bloggers, I wasn't sure about doing it myself. Writing fiction isn't like blogging. In many ways, they are complete opposites. But I had to decide on whether or not I wanted a formal web site, or an informal blog, and I chose blogging.

At first, I wasn't sure what to post about. Old blogging buddies, like Ryan Stratton, helped me a lot. I watched how easily they posted, and it gave me more confidence. It wasn't long before I started to meet other bloggers and build online friendships.

The one thing I learned while I was interviewing bloggers was that blogs come and go. Some stay around for a long time, but many just die off and disappear for various reasons. But there's one blog in particular, "Eirik's Mind," that touched my heart and kept me captive. Eirik blogged about his personal life in a way many bloggers don't (I know I don't). At this exact time last year, he was dealing with cancer, going through different therapies, and fighting for his life. But I loved everything about his blog. His voice was strong, his posts were artistic in a natural way, and he seemed to be so articulate about his feelings and his emotions.

I'm talking about Eirik's blog in the past tense because he stopped posting in January this year. In the past eleven months, I've left comments there, asking him how he was doing. But he hasn't answered them. The blog is still up and I'm still linked to him. I go there several times a week, hoping I'll see a new post. But each time I go, as each month passes, I start to worry I might not see another post.

For now, I'm hoping Eirik grew bored with blogging and just decided not to continue. I'm picturing him happy and healthy, with too much going on in his life to blog. But whatever the case may be, and wherever he may be right now, I'd like to thank him for opening up his life to all his readers and showing them what it's really like to appreciate life.

If you don't have time to follow the link I added, here's an excerpt from Eirik's last post.

Ode to Cancer
Don’t be afraid.
I’m going to hurt you good.
Up against the wall;Nails across my back.
Pleasure and Pain,There is no escape.
It’s all the same.
It ain’t no game.
So turn up the heat;Get a grip –
It’s going to get rough.
It’s no dream,No waking up.
It’s okay to scream.
Let it all out.
No escape.
It’s down and dirty.
So, get on your knees and pray.
I’m your victim;You’ll be mine.
You torment me,
Give me your best shot,
Is that your best you got?
That weak ass shit ain’t gonna cut it.
Torture me.
I’ll torture you,You won’t see it coming.
I know your games,I know your ways.
You won’t win.
I’m going to hurt you good.
So give me your best.
I’ll pass every test.
I’m gonna kill you slow.
So, don’t be afraid.
There is no escape.