Jesse Tyler Ferguson Talks about Gay Content in Modern Family, Ryan Field Books

 Jesse Tyler Ferguson Talks about Gay Content in Modern Family

Tony and I never watched the TV show Modern Family. At the time, as a long term gay couple, we found nothing with which we could identify. The gay characters reminded me of gay men pretending too hard to be straight and mentioning nothing about real, honest gay culture. And we weren't the only gay couple who felt this way. We also felt that the gay content in Modern Family was geared toward a straight audience and that bored us and sometimes even irritated us. We felt as though we were getting representation but at a cost. In other words, you play gay my way or you don't play gay at all. 

But it wasn't the first time we'd seen this kind of gay storyline and we knew it wouldn't be the last. So we did what we did with TV shows like Will and his Grace Person: we ignored it and lived our own real and authentic gay lives. 

With that said, Jesse Tyler Ferguson is now talking about the gay content in Modern Family. It's a very good article and it discusses what it was like for Eric Stonestreet to play gay, and if he would choose to do that today. I know many of you believe this is just about acting, but many also believe that when a straight actor plays gay it is the equivalent of blackface. Even Tom Hanks said he wouldn't play gayface ever again. Leave that to the openly gay actors who can't get jobs. 

Ferguson said, "I think if you ask Eric, he would say no. In fact, I know he would say no because we've had this conversation."

Here's more. I highly recommend reading this one. It's done every well. 

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What readers said about “Altered Parts”
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In paperback or e-book. #gayromance #Wednesday

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Thank You Tuc Watkins; Straight Guys Kissing; Washington Florist Gay Hate

Thank You Tuc Watkins

Update Below

Remember yesterday's post, where I linked to a piece about Jesse Ferguson of Modern Family responding to a negative comment made by another actor, Tuc Watkins? Evidently, Watkins isn't letting Ferguson get the last word. This time Watkins offered a brilliant apology, plus an explanation that I found excellent.

Dear Jesse,
I’m glad to see that a FB post can stoke a fire that burns in the LGBT community, and supporters of our community.

Many doors have opened in gay people’s fight for equality. Civil rights, marriage rights, and depictions of us individually and collectively on television. Great strides have taken us from tolerance into acceptance and towards true equality.
Stereotypes still exist. They probably always will. And while the truth is usually somewhere in the middle, stereotypes polarize us. No news there. But while an explanation of a stereotype can make good, logical sense, it still leaves the stereotype intact.
I’m glad to have played gay characters, but at the same time have been frustrated by the stereotypes I feel I’ve been party to in playing those roles. I’ve begged wardrobe designers so I wouldn’t have to wear paisley shirts, directors to reconsider a “snap” at the end of a scene, and writers to remove ‘Hey, gurl!’ from dialogue.
I did it because when I was growing up, trying to figure out where I fit it in, I couldn’t seem to locate a role model. The stereotypes I saw made me think, ‘Well, I don’t identify with that so I must not be gay.’
I can appreciate that one man’s roadblock may be another man’s role model. I feel like my growth was stunted, but understand that another person’s may have been bolstered. I believe that, as a community we want to make the path easier for those who come after us. I want that. I’m certain you do to.
Some audience members can laugh through a character, but it can also distance others. We each come to the fight with our own baggage…as well as our own weaponry. ‘Revolutionary times call for revolutionary means.’ My comments were extreme, and my use of the word ‘blackface’ inexcusable. I regret creating dissension among the ranks, especially when we’re all in this fight together.
I see your point. I hope you’ll consider mine.
Sincerely,
Tuc”

I think that was well done, and now I know who Tuc Watkins is...very attractive and smart. I don't think either of them are wrong, but I do understand Watkins' POV better than Ferguson's simply because I can identify better. But, the bigger picture here is that at least we're seeing this dialogue happening now. I've been waiting all my life to see this. I used to wonder, aren't there any other gay people out there with whom I can identify?And I know I'm not the only one who feels that way.

Thank you Tuc Watkins for getting this out there.

You can check out the link here where there's a photo of Watkins.

Update: I think it's interesting to note that since Tuc Watkins made his statement I've watched his facebook page and it seems as though other gay men sent him friend requests. It's the first thing I did when I read what he had to say. Maybe it's coincidence, maybe not. But it is interesting. This is from Watkins timeline: "How does a person accept 11365 friend requests with one click?"

Straight Guys Kissing Men

This is pure clickbait, but I think interesting.

They’ve imagined what if would be like if straight people had to come out, pried self-professed straight guy to dish on hot male celebrities, and even convinced straight besties to look at each other naked for the first time. You know, for science.

But that was all just a warmup for this — straight guys kissing men for the first time

You can check out the rest here. Some of the comments are interesting, too. One doesn't understand why Buzz Feed is so interested in this or why it's of significance to gay men. I do. Gay men find it fascinating, and for many it's even a sexual turn on. No one else is willing to admit that aloud. 

Here's one comment I love: 

These are friends. Not strangers. It’s within the context of their social relationship. Given the situation in a public environment and strangers, not even the gays would want to kiss a total stranger.

Actually, it's the other way around for me. I'm not into kissing friends in an intimate way like that. I think it's a little creepy. I have, however, kissed total strangers and loved it...depends on what the guy looks like. I guess to each his own.

Washington Florist Gay Hate

There's a woman florist in Washington D.C. who won't greet gay wedding guests in spite of the fact that no one really asked her in the first place. It's really a confusing article with mixed messages...but I get it.

She's had a couple of gay men for customers for years and when they asked her to do the flowers for their wedding she refused based on her religious convictions. So the gay customers are suing her.

Before filing a suit against her, state attorney general Bob Ferguson gave her the opportunity to reconsider her stance, but she stood her ground, citing artistic freedom. (If you’re scratching your head on that one, her claim was that making floral arrangements “is a creative process [that] takes artistic talent” and that “all artists consider what they do to be an expression.”)

Now, nearly two years later, Stutzman is back in court. On Friday, attorneys for both the state and the couple asked a judge to find her guilty of discrimination without going through with a trial, arguing that all parties agree on the relevant points of the case.

The strange part about all this is that the gay guys who have been her customers for years liked her, they interacted with her, and thought of her as a friend...until the marriage issue came up.


You can read the rest here. Frankly, I just think people like this are insecure, and very poor businesspeople. No one's challenging her right to believe whatever she wants to believe. They're just asking her to treat people with respect and dignity. But the hate goes so deeply it's hard to rationalize.

Chase of a Christmas Dream

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TLC TV Gay Mormon Men; Cheap Undies Christmas Underwear Party; Jesse Tyler Ferguson On Gayface

TLC TV Gay Mormon Men

Evidently, gay Mormon men don't consider themselves gay because they're married to women...or have girlfriends. There's a new TLC TV show airing on the topic. Once again, reality TV; it is what it is.

I'm not going to try to figure this one out. Here's an excerpt:

This January, The Learning Channel is set to air My Husband Is Not Gay," a show that features openly gay Mormon men who date and marry women. Apply palm directly to forehead. The show features three men who are supposedly happily married to women despite being gay and one single gay dude, looking for a nice woman to settle down with. 

The very existence of this series indicates the need to address the general bigotry surrounding a man understanding his sexuality as a hindrance, something to "overcome" with faith in god, and forcing himself into a relationship with a woman to whom he's fundamentally not a attracted. The fact that (as Towleroad points out) the Mormon Church just reiterated its opposition to same-sex marriage in April, stating that succumbing to homosexuality is a sin, makes this even more disturbing.

Of course I agree with the last paragraph. It is bigotry and homophobic. And what this does to women is as bad as what it does to gay men. However, again, it's also reality TV and I have never once heard of reality TV that wasn't staged for exploitation and sensationalism. In other words: think James "Flacco" on social media.

You can read the rest here.   

Just to be clear. I do know and understand there are gay men married to women and they have good marriages. This show doesn't seem to be about that. This is something different altogether, which, unfortunately, also diminished yet another segment. 

Cheap Undies Christmas Underwear Party

There's a company that sells cheap underwear...www.cheapundies.com. I think I've posted about them here before. I'm one of their best customers. I really do love them and I truly have made several purchases there this past year. Now they have a video out that's a Christmas underwear party. 

Colby Melvin kicks off the CheapUndies holiday video by explaining that instead of sending out Christmas cards, he decided to invite some friends over to make a “holiday card, come to life.” In underwear, obviously.

It quickly becomes a showcase of Colby’s friends performing a variety of acts. Also in their underwear, obviously.

There's a video you can check out here. As I said, I love the undies...and they are cheap. You'll love the video...make you happy :)

Jesse Tyler Ferguson On Gayface

I don't even know how many times I've posted about sitcom Modern Family, how I don't watch it, and why I don't watch it for specific reasons. I'm not going to link to that, but if you do a search on the blog you'll find a few posts.  One of the actors who plays a gay character, and who is gay in real life, reacted to a comment another actor recently made on Facebook:

Modern Family star Jesse Tyler Ferguson responding to out actor Tuc Watkins‘ Facebook post in which he said “I have a hard time laughing at the gay guys. In fact, I kinda cringe. It feels a little bit like the gay equivalent of ‘blackface.’”

I don't even know who Tuc Watkins is. Ferguson responded this way to the facebook post:

Sorry you feel that way Tuc. I know lots of guys who are just like Cam and lots of guys who are just like Mitch. We can’t be expected to represent every gay person. We can only represent these two people. Also, Mitch is basically a version of me…so I never know how to take it when people say that he is stereotypical. And in defense of Cam, I still can’t figure out how a clown & football coach who also happens to be gay is a stereotype. When all is said and done, it’s a family sitcom. I feel our writers do a fantastic job of servicing 11 characters each week in just 22 minutes. I am incredibly proud to play Mitch and I have a lot of pride in our show. As a closeted kid of the ’80s I would have loved to have had a show like Modern Family to watch with my parents. It would have meant a lot to me to see who I secretly was reflected on television. TV has come a long way and it continues to forge new ground. I am thrilled with the work that you did on Desperate Housewives. It opened the door for shows like ours and hopefully we can hold that door open for many more shows to follow us. At the end of the day we can’t please everyone..and we shouldn’t try to. Kinda just like life, right? Take care. Jesse Tyler Ferguson.”

There are a few things I can't dispute. Ferguson is right. He can't represent every gay man on the planet, and I want to make it clear I actually do support the show...as a comedy/parody of sorts. I don't watch it, but I'm glad it's on TV. In the same respect, I was also a kid growing up in the 80's and watching two gay men like the two on Modern Family would have been my worst nightmare, and would have kept me in the closet even longer. I can't identify with either of them at all. And there's nothing wrong with that. Not every straight person can identify with every straight character on TV. However, let's balance things out a little for the gay men who don't feel represented by the gay characters we see on Modern Family. That's when things to become stereotypical.

But, again, Modern Family is comedy. Not meant to be taken seriously...I hope. We seem to be losing our sense of humor more and more these days.

Here's the link. 

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