Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Anne Rice Responds to Open Letter; Gay Relationship Advice from Friends; Power of "I Don't Know"
This is the last post about the Anne Rice incident for a while, but since she responded to an open letter someone wrote with regard to a recent incident involving a blogger and Rice's fans, I figured I would follow up.
And the simplest way to do that is to provide this link to Rice's facebook page where she posted a link to the open letter and asked her fans to remain civil with their comments.
It's interesting to note some of those comments on Rice's facebook page, because it shows how people have various impressions of how authors/readers should react to reviews. I've always believed authors shouldn't react in public at all...unless of course the reviewer spells the author's name wrong, or gets something factually wrong with the book.
Rice makes this comment on facebook:
One comment I'd like to make: publishing an extended negative criticism of a a book or a person on the internet is not a private act. It's a public act. Perhaps sometimes bloggers forget this. Yes, in our culture everyone is entitled to have an opinion and express that opinion on just about everything; and when you make your opinions public, well, sometimes people are going to disagree with you. That is to be expected.
I don't have any strong opinions about this. It's the author/reader's choice to react any way they want (or not react), and I'm not going to tell anyone how to do that. Because that would fall under the category of none of my business.
Gay Relationship Advice from Friends
I found this article interesting because I often get e-mails asking me for advice about gay relationships, and sometimes I have trouble responding. And that's because all relationships are different, all people are different, and everyone's circumstances are different. The best I can do is relate with my own personal experiences with my partner of twenty years.
But what about taking advice from friends? That's even more interesting because in my personal life I have basically stopped giving out advice to friends. And the main reason for this is because my advice is always so good, and so right, I get annoyed when people don't take it. I'm only joking around, of course. But I have learned that unless someone asks for my advice, I keep it to myself. Most of the time people are going to do what they want to do and any advice people give them will go in one ear and right out the other...me included.
But what happens when you fall for someone you never expected, and things are far more complicated then you ever thought they would be? If our friends are there for us they will understand that the person they aren’t too keen on is the person that makes us the happiest. You may think your friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend is the biggest idiot/prick/your favourite insult in the world, but it doesn’t hurt (that much) to whack a smile on and try.
I can't even tell you how many times that's happened to me. And I have learned, trust me, whack on that smile and try because if your friend is in love with an asshole there's nothing you're going to do to change that. And if this is a good friend, you'll have to remain silent until he or she realizes they are with an asshole. That's what usually happens.
You can read more here.
Power of "I Don't Know"
In this NYT article by Tim Kreider, the concept of not knowing everything is discussed in a way I think all authors can relate to at one point or another. Especially if you've ever done one of those blogtalk interviews alone. When you write about something, you're automatically considered an expert on the topic, and everyone expects you to know all the answers. The problem with that is no one knows all the answers...I could be snarky here but I won't...and sometimes it's better to be honest and say, "I don't know."
Whenever someone writes to take me politely to task over some unfair generalization, self-contradiction or unexamined blind spot, my riposte is usually something along the lines of: “Hm, yeah, I guess you have a point there.” I don’t always agree with me; I certainly don’t expect everyone else to.
You can get there from here. Although, I have to admit that sometimes it can be very entertaining to ask a so-called expert his or her opinion, knowing full well they don't have the slightest clue, and watch them circle the airport so to speak. Very rarely will you find someone honest enough to actually say, "I don't know." Just watch any politician in Washington respond to a question about healthcare.