Friday, January 4, 2013

What Actually Defines a Twink?



What actually defines a twink can vary as far and wide as to what attracts one person to another. I find Prince Harry extremely attractive, but I'm sure others would disagree with me. And that's normal, because there are no rules for attraction.

You'd think that it would be simple to define a twink, but it's not always like that. For instance, one night last summer I was with a group of guys and we were arguing about when "twinkdom" ends. I think you've ended you're twink years at twenty-one. That's just my opinion and a lot of the others disagreed with me. They seemed to think it was closer to twenty-five, a few said nineteen. But in spite of all this, one thing is for sure in a general sense: there's a small window of opportunity, and you're not going to be a twink for long.

It happened so fast for me, I didn't even know it.

I know a guy in his seventies who thinks a twink can be fifty. So it's all relative and it all depends on who is making the rules.

When I saw this article I figured I'd share; just to clarify what may or may not define a twink, and to offer an opinion other than my own. And, of course, all this is meant to be taken with tongue-in-cheek. I know a lot of people in their thirties and forties who do the same things that are listed below. There are 39 signs altogether; you can follow the link to read the rest.

What’s the true definition of a twink you may ask? Besides being the homosexual male’s youngest and most hairless sub-species, twinks have a couple of other traits and here’s a quick guide to determine if you can wear the twink badge of (dis)honor. You may be a twink if:

You’ve seen every cycle of America’s Next Top Model at least three times.

You worship Honey Boo Boo and mourn the loss of gay icon Glitzy the Pig.

A typical lunch is a can of Red Bull.

You wear Lady Gaga’s perfume “Fame.”

You can do makeup better than any star of Teen Mom.

You own a jockstrap but you don’t play sports.

You have a One Direction poster.

You respond to all of your tweets with a gif from RealityTVGifs.

You only talk to people who have iPhones.

You watch everything Bravo-related: re-runs of Kathy Griffin’s My Life on The D-List, the Real Housewives, Watch What Happens Live, and Flipping Out.

You’ve had sushi at least once this week.

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