Egypt Jails 14 Gay Men; Adam Lambert's Censored Gender Fluid Cover; Porn Star Hugh Hunter Declines GayVN Nominations

Egypt Jails 14 Gay Men

If you ever wonder why I rarely bother getting into political discussions, this is why. My only focus, and the only thing I'm willing to go up on that hill for, is this kind of injustice against LGBTI people.

Egypt has jailed 14 more men for homosexuality in the continued hunt to eliminate the LGBTI community.

They were all sentenced to jail for three years for ‘abnormal’ sexual relations.

Here's the rest.  There's more, and there are more articles that follow it.

Adam Lambert's Censored Gender Fluid Cover

Lambert explains how his first album cover wasn't received well, so it was changed.

He continued, explaining the existence of two covers for the album.

‘I was feelin my gender fluid (and fully photoshopped) glam rock fantasy. The powers that be released a second cover for retailers who felt ‘uncomfortable’ w the original. (Even though i was still fully painted.)’

You can check this out, here. I've had this kind of censorship happen to me with publishers...who either don't understand gay men, or they only know what they've been told about gay men. It's interesting. It's usually very harmless, and a few years later we laugh about it.

Porn Star Hugh Hunter Declines GayVN Nominations

Hunter wants nothing to do with the GayVN nominations, and he is calling them out on racism for a variety of reasons.

“It now appears as if the GayVN Awards have chosen to make this racism and bigotry more blatant in their return to the awards arena. As I browsed through the GayVN award nomination categories and its endless list of nominees I noticed a category which immediately struck my sensibilities as wrong and, quite frankly, turned my stomach.”

Here's more. There are over 35 comments with this one. 

Altered Parts

You can check this out here at Smashwords.

And here's the Amazon link. 

 Said With Care

Smashwords

Amazon

A PG Rated Gay Romance

Here's the Amazon link

Orlando Shooter and Alleged Gay Lover; How To Be A Good Gay Top; The Happy Gay Bottom

Orlando Shooter and Alleged Gay Lover

They're calling this a "twist" in the case of the Orlando shooter, Omar Mateen.

 The FBI has found no evidence that the gunman who left 49 people dead in an Orlando nightclub had gay lovers or used gay dating apps, according to the Los Angeles Times.

You can read the rest here

The men who have made claims they were lovers of Omar Mateen are still being investigated, however, none have been credible...so far.


How To Be A Good Gay Top

Here's one of those articles about relationships from gaylife that tend to be mostly accurate...at least from what I've seen.

Topping takes strategy, a way to execute that plan, and a lot of patience. The strategy I'm referring to is the bottom's pleasure. A good top knows that focusing on their partner's desires can reap pleasurable rewards for both people.

Pay attention to this, and please read the rest of the suggestions if you are a top man. These things do make a difference.

You can read the rest here.  And, there's a lot of other valuable info within this article.

The Happy Gay Bottom

I post these things every once in a while because I get e-mails from younger gay men who are inexperienced and curious about anal sex. I think this kind of information makes it easier for them to understand the basics. 

You should never feel pressured into having anal sex if it is something you’re not comfortable with.

But, by knowing more about anal sex you can avoid making your choice about it on the basis of fearing the unknown. Many men who overcome this fear discover that anal sex becomes an important and enjoyable part of their sex lives. If you’re one of those guys, or want to be one of those guys, here are some helpful tips and advice that may help you have a vastly better anal sexual experience.

Whether you're a top or a bottom, you should read this. It will make a difference. When I was just starting out you couldn't even pay to get information like this. You learned everything the hard way...usually biting a pillow. Now you have it for free.

Here's the rest.  

Unabated

 Amazon

 Unabated Create Space In Print

Amazon

In Print 

The Arrangement 

Human Penis Transplants; First Gay Bar Experience; Five Things About Your Ass

Human Penis Transplants

This one is pretty self-explanatory, no matter how shocking it sounds.

And it's not just for cosmetic purposes. Doctors in S. Africa performed a penis transplant on a 21 year old who lost his penis to a bad circumcision. Another reason I'm not fond of the entire concept of circumcision, at least not without giving the man a choice. Most of us don't get that choice.

“We’ve proved that it can be done — we can give someone an organ that is just as good as the one that he had,” Frank Graewe, head of the Division of Plastic Reconstructive Surgery at Stellenbosch University, said in a statement. “It was a privilege to be part of this first successful penis transplant in the world.”

They don't say where they got the organ, but I'm assuming it's like any other organ donor program.

You can read the rest here. I think it's wonderful for people who need it. My one question is would they be able to use an artificial penis? And next, what are the odds of the body rejecting it?


First Gay Bar Experience

I remember my first gay bar experience very well. It was absolutely wonderful. I was still in college and I drove all the way from Madison, NJ to New Hope, PA where there were three gay bars at the time. It was the first time in my life I felt as if I could be comfortable, and I'm not exaggerating this. I knew I'd found a home, so to speak. It wasn't about sex, alcohol, or even dancing. It was the absolute comfort of being with my own kind. I didn't have any expectations that night; that came later.

In any event, here's an article that talks about first gay bar experiences. As you can see, they are varied, which is understandable because so much has changed in the past twenty years. I also think they're from very young gay men who don't know a world of complete homophobia...like it was in the 1990's.

"Yesterday I went to my first gay bar for the first time and I felt like a total different person."

You can read the rest here. I think it's interesting how some of them reacted.  I'd like to see the question presented to gay men who went to their first gay bar prior to 2000.

Five Things About Your Ass

This is one of the most obtuse articles I've read in a while, but it's not completely without merit. For one thing it's great clickbait, and for another the ass is important to gay men. Yes, that ass.

Queerty spoke to expert fanny physician Elie Schochet, MD, of Ft Lauderdale, who has become a popular go-to man on anal health. His town hall events on the subject are swarming with gay men, and his “Team Happy Hineys” is even the largest AIDS Walk group in south Florida this year.

“I’m a straight man who tells gay guys how to use their ass right,” he told us. “It’s been a real education on both sides. But the medical facts are way too important not to talk about this openly.” The good doctor definitely has no anal shame.

You can read the rest here. I didn't know a few. In fact, I never knew that in some cases some men will never physically be able to bottom. And I never knew gay men were supposed to get pap smears. I'm still on the fence about all of it, though. Do I need to be told to eat fiber?

 

The Way We ALMOST Were

A Gay Parody  

 Amazon 

 

 

Top or Bottom In India; Neil Patrick Harris and Oscars; Free Gay Excerpt: Meadows Are Not Forever

Top or Bottom In India

In India, it seems tops think they are superior to bottoms...at least that is what this article suggests.

“If you read most status updates on gay and bi men’s groups on social media you will find that ‘tops’ present themselves as superior to ‘bottoms,'” Indian blogger Harry Ess writes in an new op-ed titled “Why do Indian tops think they are better than bottoms?” and published on Gay Star News. “This doesn’t seem to be the situation in the West but is a very common prejudice in India.”

You can read the rest here. I'm not surprised.  I've heard the same things here in the West, too. The problem is the minute these so-called tops turn out the lights and hit the sheets their legs go up faster than anything you've ever seen.

Neil Patrick Harris and Oscars

The only thing I know about the Oscars this year is what I saw being tweeted while I was watching Downton Abbey. So I can't comment. But here's a statement by Neil Patrick Harris on the Oscars...and that it was probably his last time hosting them.

 “I don’t know that my family nor my soul could take it. It’s a beast. It was fun to check off the list, but for the amount of time spent and the understandable opinionated response, I don’t know that it’s a delightful balance to do every year or even again."

There's more here. The comments are what you would expect: not too kind. 


Free Gay Excerpt: Meadows Are Not Forever

Here's an excerpt from Meadows Are Not Forever that I don't think has been published anywhere before.

You can find it here, on Amazon, and in most places where e-books are sold these days.

Cade couldn't lie about that either.  "Once," he said.  "But no one saw my face.  The only shots the camera took were rear lower body shots, no head shots.  I only filled in for an actor who didn't bother to show up for work that day.  My job has always been behind the scenes, not in front of the camera.  And I've never used my real name.  In other words, if you did a search for me on the internet, you'd come up with nothing."

They started whispering again, sending him quick glances, looking him up and down.  Cade sat back and exhaled.  He even smiled and extended his right leg.  Anderson Randolph hadn't asked him many questions: he seemed to be sitting back and evaluating with his tongue pressed to his cheek.  Evidently, Anderson didn't remember Cade or the cupcake incident from the airport.  If he had, Cade figured he would have said something right away.  For the first time that day, Cade felt so relaxed he fought the urge to yawn.  All that worrying about being recognized had been for nothing.

When they stopped whispering and turned to face him, there was a knock on the door.  The guy on the right said, "Come in," and a young woman entered the room carrying a small tray of large chocolate cupcakes.  There must have been a mound of rich fudge frosting on top about three inches deep, set in perfect ridged swirls to form peaks.  And each one had been topped with an expensive truffle.

Unfortunately, the young woman didn't notice that Cade had become so relaxed he'd stretched out his right leg.  And when she entered the room with the tray of chocolate cupcakes, she tripped over his right foot.  She caught her balance just in time and didn't fall down.  But the cupcake tray jerked and a half dozen chocolate cupcakes went sailing across the room toward the three men at the long table.

The guys on the end saw them coming and ducted just in time.  But Anderson Randolph had been looking down at a stack of papers on the table he he'd missed the fall.  Three cupcakes landed on the floor; two upside down on the table.  And one lone cupcake flew across the table and landed right between Anderson Randolph's legs.

The two guys started laughing and point at Anderson’s crotch.

The young woman apologized and bent over to retrieve the ruined cupcakes on the floor.

Cade sat up straight and held his palm to his throat as Anderson reached down between his legs and slowly lifted the upside down cupcake from his crotch.

Anderson held the cupcake up and stopped moving for a second.  His eyebrows furrowed as if deep in thought and he tilted his head sideways.  A minute later, he flung a glance in Cade's direction.  His eyes opened wide; his lips parted.  He pointed at Cade and said, "You're the cell phone guy from the airport.  I knew I'd seen you before somewhere."

Cade gulped.  His heart began to race.  "I'm so sorry, Mr.  Randolph," he said.  "I thought she saw my foot."  He stood up and crossed to the table.  He looked down at the chocolate frosting smudged between Anderson's legs and reached for a napkin that had fallen off the cupcake tray.  "I'll get down on my knees and clean it off myself.  No one will ever know it happened.  I'm so sorry."

As Cade reached across the table with the napkin, Anderson lifted his arms and said, "That won't be necessary.  I'll be fine."  He set the cupcake down right side up, took a napkin from the table, and started wiping the chocolate frosting from his crotch.  But it only smeared and made the stain look worse.

Cade took a step back.  His face grew warmer.  "I'm so sorry, Mr.  Randolph.  You have my name and address and contact information on the form.  Please send me the cleaning bill.  And if there's a stain that can't be removed, please send me the bill for new pants.  I feel just awful about this."

The other two guys were now laughing so hard they were doubled over and leaning sideways.  The guy with the beard said, "Let him wipe it off, Anderson."  The other said, "I'll pour some water on it and he can get down on his knees right now."

Anderson stood up and smirked at his associates.  He looked at Cade and said, "Thank you very much, we'll be in touch."  Then he stood up and went to the men's room alone.

Cade thought about following him, but didn't want to make things worse.  He turned and left the room, while the two guys continued to laugh and the young woman scrambled to clean up the mess.  Cade went back to the banquet room and plopped down on a chair so he could phone Meadow.

When she answered, he said, "You're never going to believe this."

"Did you get the job?"

He sighed and explained everything that had happened.

"Was he mad?"  Meadow asked.  "That idiot girl should have been watching where she was going.  It's not like you did it on purpose."

Cade frowned.  "It was hard to tell.  I mean he didn't scream and shout.  He's very professional and very dignified that way.  But he had to be mad.  How would you feel if some idiot smashed you with chocolate cupcakes twice in the same week?"

"I see your point," She said, adding a sigh.

Then he told her about all the questions they'd asked about his job with straightguycondo.com.  "I had to tell the truth.  I couldn't lie.  For all I know that did me in before I slammed him with frosting again."

"Did they tell you they weren't interested in you?"  She asked.

"No."                          

"That's a good sign.  They aren't shy about that.  Maybe they want to use that angle for publicity.  You never know.  I've seen it before.  On the Internet they call it click-bait…something that gets attention fast.  And what's more click-bait than a gay porn star on TV? The women alone will love it."

"Who knows," Cade said.  "All I do know is that it was a nightmare.  I guess some things just aren't meant to be."

"Well, at least you didn't back out," she said.  "That says something about your character.  You're a fighter.  You'll be okay.  There will be tons of other auditions and jobs and this will be forgotten by next month."  Meadow didn't sound very positive now.  In fact, it sounded as if she were trying to let him down easy.

"I'm not going home right away," Cade said.  "I saw a nice little coffee shop near the parking garage and I'm going there to just sit and unwind for a while.  I can't take being this depressed and being in New Jersey at the same time.  I'll call you later tonight."  The coffee shop he'd passed reminded him of his favorite bodega in LA.

"Don't start obsessing about the negatives," Meadow said.  "It was an accident.  These things happen."

"I'll call you later tonight."  He couldn't wait to get off the phone.  They'd just called another name, which meant Anderson was back in the audition room.  Cade wanted to get out of the hotel before anything else happened.

When he was on the street, he dialed his mother and said, "I ran into a few old friends, so don't wait for me.  I'm going to have coffee with them, and I might have dinner with them, too.  I'll be home before midnight, though."  It was easier to lie.

"Are you sure you don't want me to keep something warm on the stove," Daisy asked.  "It's no trouble, dear."

"Thanks, mother," Cade said.  "I'll be fine.  If I don't see you tonight, I'll see you in the morning.  But I will be home before midnight."  He wasn't sure if he'd have dinner in the city, but he figured he'd tell her that just in case he decided to.  He didn't want to go back to the house right away but he couldn't tell her that.  He'd wind up sitting in his bedroom, alone and depressed, replaying the entire nightmare of a day in his head.  And he remembered the rules from high school.  As long as he was home by midnight, his parents were fine.

"Be careful, dear," Daisy said.  "And please drive safely.  They drive like maniacs in Philadelphia and you're not used to the roads anymore."

"I will, mother."  She obviously had no idea what serious traffic was like in Los Angeles.

He put his phone away and crossed the street.  The parking garage sat only a block away, and the coffee shop was right next door.  He went in and ordered a large latte.  He really wanted a good stiff drink…vodka…but he couldn't do that because he had to drive back to New Jersey.  For Cade, caffeine had always been the next best thing to booze.  It picked him up and lifted his spirits; it gave him energy when he didn't want to walk another step.

At that hour, the coffee shop was empty.  People were either going to dinner or going out for drinks before dinner.  He sat on a large red leather sofa with scuffed arms gazing at a flat screen TV for almost an hour and a half.  He didn't even pay attention to what was on TV, not even Judge Judy whom he adored. He just kept replaying what had happened during the audition and cringing inside.

When a cute guy wearing glasses sent him an inviting glance from the other side of the coffee shop, he smiled and looked down at his lap fast.  He could have made eye contact with the guy and had him that night if he'd wanted him.  He was Cade's type, too, with athletic, rugged looks, heavy five o'clock shadow, and big strong hands.  But Cade decided to ignore the guy on purpose.  The last thing he needed was another big jock type getting into his pants and telling him a pack of lies.  They always lied, or at the very least exaggerated the truth.  Cade thought about Harold and his wife again and clenched his fists.

After his third latte, Cade glanced at his watch and decided it was time to go home.  It was after seven and his mother and father had already eaten their dinner.  By the time he returned home, they'd be getting ready for bed.  Cade still hadn't eaten anything that day, but he wasn't hungry.  The thought of the chocolate cupcakes flying across the room kept turning his stomach, and the caffeine from the lattes had killed his appetite.

But when he flung the coffee shop door open to step onto the street, he heard thump and a man shouted, "Shit.  What the fuck?"

Cade walked outside and found Anderson Randolph standing next to the coffee shop entrance hunched over, rubbing his shoulder.  Passersby stopped and gaped.  Cade reached for Anderson's shoulder and said, "I'm so sorry, Mr.  Randolph.  I didn't see anyone coming.  I had no idea."

Gay Sex Roles: Tops and Bottoms; Be A Better Gay Top; Davey Wavey on Good Tops

Gay Sex Roles: Tops and Bottoms

This is one of those posts I'm keeping more clinical because I think it's important to the discussion of m/m romance and almost all gay fiction. Even if this doesn't come up in any particular book, it is dormant between the lines no matter how hard someone tries to dispute it (or ignore it). We often read a great deal about gender politics with regard to gay relationships that discuss the fundamentals, with respect to heteronormative couples, and most of that is a huge waste of human time. I think another fundamental aspect of any relationship...gay or straight...are sex roles. And there's absolutely nothing dirty or obscene about this.

This article dates back a few years, but I think it's one of the best I've read about gay sex roles in a long time.

Most psychology research that deal with gay men dichotomize the sex roles as Top and Bottom (if they differentiate among gay men at all) - preference for insertive anal intercourse and preference for receptive anal intercourse respectively. This paper summarizes a study that tested a more elaborate categorization, and finds that sex role preference is correlated with differences in physical preferences for a sexual partner among gay men, suggesting that the hypothesized categorization is meaningful. The data suggests that sex roles should be thought of as a continuous spectrum that map onto a continuous spectrum of physical preferences.

 

The new categorization tested includes 6 categories:
1) Only Bottom
2) Versatile, but prefer Bottom
3) Versatile, equal
4) Versatile, but prefer Top
5) Only Top
6) Never had anal sex / Don't Know

 

In other words, diversification. I also think there could be a few more added to this list, but for now it's simple and accurate. Of course I probably wouldn't get into this in fiction unless the main character were a psychologist or something related, but these "things" are always in the background of any book whenever there is a situation that involves two people involved in a relationship that is even remotely sexual.

 

You can read the rest here. I think it's worthwhile reading. It disputes a lot of myths, for one thing.

 

Many gay men feel that there are more Bottoms than Tops, and the point of the study wasn't to prove this one way or another. The milieu of gay.com may have skewed the proportions. But the point of the study was to see whether preference for certain physical traits were different among individuals among the different categories rather than finding out the actual distribution (which is a much tougher question because it's hard to remove the bias of where you solicit your respondents).

 

To put this into an even more interesting (and simple) perspective, think about the most recent episode of True Blood. The flamboyant gay character who is always gender bending with clothes and image wound up in a situation with one of the more masculine vampires. In the next scene we find the more effeminate character topping and the more masculine character on the bottom. I've known many couples in real life like this, too. A lot of what we think we know on the surface only promotes the old stereotypes.  

 

Be A Better Gay Top

 

Since I'm posting on this topic, and I have posted about how to be a better gay bottom, I thought I would be remiss if I didn't post something about being a better top. This is really important, especially if the top is responsible for a bottom's first time.

 

Anal sex can hurt. I sometimes think that the best Tops are guys who also Bottom because empathy always makes a better lover. The biggest problem most Tops have is that they don’t pay attention to their partner. They start the joust at full gallop. If you are going to Top remember that if you injure your partner before you even get started nobody is going to have a good time.

 

You can read more here. The article gets into a lot of other issues I think are important. It states that it's not just the bottom's responsibility to bring the condom. It's everyone's responsibility and if you're a good top you'll pay attention to this. It's true. Then again, I also know from personal experience that if you're a smart bottom you'll bring that condom anyway because the odds are the top guy won't have one. When I was single I never met one who did carry one. He'll tell you he'll pull out. He'll tell you he's safe. He'll tell you anything to get you to do what he wants. Just bring the condom and don't trust anyone you don't know well. This might not be the most clinical advice, or the most politically correct advice. But it's like defensive driving...it's the most logical advice if you want to remain disease free. And I'm not just talking about HIV. There's a long list of sexually transmitted diseases that require medical attention you don't want to get.

 

Davey Wavey on Good Tops

 

Davey Wavey, youtube star, has weighed in on this issue in a less clinical sense. But the first thing he gets into is something I've seen even in clinical articles: the best tops have also been bottoms and they know how things work, so to speak, from personal experience. I'm not sure that's always true, even though it does make sense. There are plenty of good tops out there would never even consider bottoming. But it's a fun video if you take it on surface value.

 

If you can't see the video here, here's the youtube link. If you haven't seen any Davey Wavey videos you'll find more links on other related topics on that page to which I linked.

 

 

 

 

 Small Town Romance Writer

 

by Ryan Field

Amazon Link

 



Gay Male Secrets; Top Or Bottom Quiz; Internal Desires by Ryan Field

Gay Male Secrets

This article talks about assimilation, heteronormativity, and how with gaining more equality gay culture has shifted a little. But it also gets into a few secrets no one talks about much anymore. According to this article, secrets gay men don't tell straight people. I'm not quite sure about all of them. But some are accurate.

Of course bottoming is number one on the list:

There, I said it. Bottoming is fucking great. Yes, it hurts every time. Yes it is sometimes messy (Santorum is just not a candidate in Iowa). But it is always fucking worth it. There are lots of guys who only like to bottom. There are lots of couples that are both bottoms and they take turns begrudingly topping. There are also lots of tops who only like to top. Topping is fun too. But if topping is like a merry-go-round, then bottoming is like the best fucking roller coaster you've ever been on in your life. The weird thing is "power bottom" isn't just some stupid straight boy insult, the gays use it too. There's some sort of shame about being a bottom, like it makes us less manly and that straight people won't take us seriously. That is probably true, but those feelings are wrapped in all this heteronormative, patriarchal bullshit that straight society has thrust upon us, and we hate you for making us feel bad about something that is better than chasing a million dragons. And, yes, straight guys, let your lady stick a finger up there sometime, and you'll know what I'm talking about. I promise not to make you feel like less of a man for it.

This is where I question a few things. I'm not saying it's inaccurate; just a little one-sided. There is NO reason why bottoming should hurt EVERY single time if you know what you're doing and you're into the man you're doing it with. That's one of the biggest well-kept secrets: being into the top guy so much you can't wait to do it. But I don't disagree with the general point of this paragraph.

You can read the rest here. I found the one about gay men not liking drag queens as much as straight people like them interesting. I only like good drag. If it's bad, I'm out the door.

Top Or Bottom Quiz

I have always found that some gay men aren't exactly sure whether they are tops or bottoms. I know that sounds hard to believe, but it isn't always in black and white. There are gray areas and I'm sure a lot of gay men would agree with me. This quiz is supposed to help gay men who are confused about this come to a conclusion. It's also NSFW. You've been warned. I also add one more question from my personal experience.

Question number six is interesting:

Have you ever fingered yourself?

Yes, I liked it. (and still do it occasionally)
Yes, but I didn't like it
No, but I really want to/ I know i will enjoy it.
The thought never even crossed my mind.  NO WAY

So is this one (I'm not posting the answers here):

Your mate and you are kissing and naked.  What happens next?

Frankly, I didn't see the one question I think is most important. It's also the simplest and the least vulgar. From my personal experience:

When you're making out with a guy and still fully clothed, are you on your back and do your legs naturally spread and go up?

I've never seen it fail.

You can read more here and take the test.

Internal Desires

 

by Ryan Field

 

 

.99 Amazon E-book

 

Amazon Review:Ryan Filed knows how to write short stories that are hot. This was a quick read with steamy sex. Mr. Field impressed me with his "Chase of a Lifetime" series. I look forward to more books like that from him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





How to Gay Bottom Well; Big, Bad and On Top by Ryan Field

How to Gay Bottom Well

I figured since I'm posting on this topic a lot lately I'd add this link for anyone interested. It's a piece about how to bottom like a pro. I know when I was younger I didn't have a clue and dads don't usually take their sons aside and give them the facts of life about gay sex. I'm sure that's going to change in the future. But I would imagine most gay men learned about sex the same way I did. Hit or miss.

I know this first link is really more like an advertorial for a book, but I'm breaking my rule about advertorials this once because I didn't see anything on this web site that I didn't agree with. It also gets into things like poppers, which are a big part of gay culture but rarely ever talked about.

Here's a link to this one.

Now here's a link that gets into more detail (and it's less complicated) and you don't have to buy a book. You don't want to be a sloppy bottom. There's nothing worse. This one example alone is something I've mentioned in my books because I think it's important and it's something that's usually laughed at or ignored completely. For those who don't think this is serious, think again. There are gay men out there wondering right now what it's all about. I was watching a talk show with those two gay guys from Canada, Steve and Chris, earlier this evening and they talked about love, romance, and all kinds of crap with some therapist, but never once mentioned a thing about sex. And I'd bet money that at least one of them is a bottom.

Preparation is the most important step for a bottom. You take time to do your hair and pick your outfit, so you should also take time to prepare your sphincter. Many bottoms debate over douching, but some kind of cleaning is definitely appreciated. Prior to meeting up with your top, either douche, use an enema (neither of these should be done daily) or simply sit in a soap free bathtub and clean the area. Do not ever use soap to clean yourself with as this can cause massive irritation.

I'd just like to add three things: eat less if you know you're bottoming, and don't forget those condoms and lube. Never trust a guy who says he'll pull out in time. Most men aren't that gifted. But they'll all tell you they'll pull out in time. Don't trust them. And you don't want to do it without lube unless you're very experienced. Just trust me on that one.

And, here's a great video on the topic.






Big Bad and On Top by Ryan Field

This is my gay Top Gun book. There is plenty of talk about bottoming in this book.

Duke's driven by his ambition to be the best fighter pilot in the Navy, not the fact that he's a closeted gay man. But he's garnered a reputation for being overly aggressive and far too impulsive. He likes to think the chances he takes are heroic and wise, but there are many in the Navy who think he's reckless and irresponsible.

And when the Navy sends Duke to the most rigorous flight class in the world, he becomes even more aggressive in order to be the big, bad "top gun" everyone expects him to be. But while he's working hard to be number one, he meets an attractive young civilian flight instructor named Jaime who turns his entire life upside down. Though it starts out as a harmless flirtation, their connection becomes so intense Duke begins to wonder whether or not he can continue to abide by the rules of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

After a serious accident that leaves Duke so devastated he can barely fly a plane, Duke begins to question his goals, his ferocious need to be number one, and his unyielding devotion to a military that refuses to treat him with dignity and equality. He realizes the only good thing that has ever happened to him was falling in love with Jaime, and he discovers he has two choices. Both have the potential to change his and Jaime's lives forever, and both come with serious consequences. But he can only choose one. And even while Duke is wrestling with the biggest decision of his life, his passion for Jaime burns hotter than ever.

Allromanceebooks Link

Dog Meat Festival; Power Bottoms; Gay Bachelors People Magazine; Cage James by Ryan Field Free Excerpt

Dog Meat Festival

Please keep in mind this is a cultural piece, and the video with the link is going to disturb you. I couldn't finish watching it. I thought I could take a lot. But I just couldn't watch. It's a piece about a different kind of activism we rarely hear about in the US. It's animal activism that many are starting to take more seriously in places like Yulin, China, where there's an annual dog and cat meat festival. I'm posting about it because I have two new releases coming out soon and one, Cage James, deals with a very delusional character who dines on exotic meats. I didn't use dog meat in my story for obvious reasons, but I found it interesting while doing research that so many exotic meats are perfectly legal in the US. And even those that are not legal can often be purchased for the right price.

As I said, this is cultural and animal activists in China are working to change it:

Dozens of journalists, filmmakers and photographers have come to the city in China's southeast Guangxi province to document an event that lies at the center of a battle between deeply-ingrained tradition and the encroachment of the modern world. Activists say dogs are part of the daily diet here, with an estimated 10,000 dogs killed for the festival alone.

 

Ask a local when the tradition of eating dog meat began and you'll likely be met with a dumbfounded expression -- it is akin to asking someone when people started eating beef. For many in the city, eating dog meat is a hard habit to break, despite changing attitudes about the treatment of animals in China.

 

You can read more here. And please be advised that video will be disturbing to most westerners. I'll post more about Cage James and the character who eats exotic meats in my story below.

 

Power Bottoms

 

Once again, here's another piece I found interesting about sex, erotica, romance, and gay power bottoming. I've mentioned this in erotic m/m romance from time to time, but never in detail. I just assume that all readers know what a power bottom is, but I've received e-mails from some who aren't quite sure.

 

I think this is probably one of the easiest and most comprehensive articles I've read on the topic, and also with regard to many references made that ring true. It mentions size queens, straight men who enjoy bottoming with their girlfriends, and power and control. What is a power bottom? Here's how this piece answers it:

 

In gay sexuality terms, a “bottom” is understood to be the male partner who is on the receptive end of anal intercourse and enjoys being penetrated. A “power bottom” could be defined as a bottom who has a strong enthusiasm and drive for engaging in long sessions of anal penetrative sex, whether as an extended single encounter with no interruption of being “topped”, or having the desire and ability to engage in multiple instances of anal sex over a long period of time within a sexual episode. A man who can accommodate penile thrusting for long periods without stopping and shows exuberance, lack of inhibition, and active participation in the sexual encounter are characterized as “power bottoms.” Many tops (the penetrator) who have endurance and enjoy long sessions of anal intercourse commonly complain about bottoms who have to terminate penetration because of discomfort, pain, or exhaustion. Conversely, power bottoms can also be discontented with a top who ejaculates too quickly during sex and halts the sexual encounter before he has been thoroughly satisfied.

 

In some instances I've found that power bottoms can take on multiple tops, and their own climax is not usually something they care about. The experience of taking on these top men IS the sexual satisfaction for them. Climax in the traditional sense is not the most important thing and many prefer unreciprocated sex in that respect.

 

You can read more here. It's a detailed account with some excellent examples. I personally like this one:

 

Gay men love penises of all shapes and sizes and despite the stereotypes about “bigger is better”, many men find these phalluses difficult to accommodate and less pleasurable than an average-to-smaller sized member. Others love the feeling of being “filled” and “stuffed” by an over-sized appendage.

 

And there you are. The next time you find yourself in a discussion about gay men, sex, romance, and bottoming you'll know most of what you really need to know.

 

Side note: I also think there are "power tops." Even though we don't hear the term often I once knew a gay couple where the top in the relationship was so enthusiastic about sex with his partner he would top for hours while the bottom just watched TV. That really is a true story, and I'm sure it's not unique.

 

Gay Bachelors People Magazine

 

I'm glad this is starting to happen. For a long time it wasn't even a topic of discussion. But now people are questioning why People Magazine just listed famous eligible bachelors and there isn't one gay man on the list. Ricky Martin is single. Where's his name?

 

A wet and sexy Joe Manganiello on the cover of this week's People Magazine assured that its annual Hollywood's Hottest Bachelor issue would enjoy huge sales.

 

In addition to three shirtless photos in a four-page spread of the True Blood stars, the issue also features large sexy photos of such hunks as Ryan Gosling, Zac Efron, and Scott Eastwood.

 

All are straight.

 

Well, as far as we know they are all straight. One big reason there aren't more gay bachelors is because so many famous men are still in the closet.

 

You can read more here.

 

Cage James by Ryan Field Free Excerpt

 

As mentioned above, Cage James is an indie book I'll be releasing at the end of this month. My other new release, Small Town Romance Writer, will be out this week and I'd like to focus on that because it's 110,000 words and the final book in the bad boy billionaire series. I actually submitted that one a year ago and it's finally coming out now. I've been rethinking release dates and how far apart to separate them.

 

In any event, Cage James is a quirky erotic romantic suspense book that's set in San Francisco and revolves around a dysfunctional relationship between an opportunistic gay male stripper and a sheltered young millionaire who eats nothing but the most expensive exotic meat money can buy. Here's a short excerpt from one of the dining experiences in the book that makes one character cringe a little.

 

 

 

As Sam crossed to the other end of the table Forna entered the room pulling a cart.  He set a fresh plate of raw ground beef and a cup of tea in front of Sam and said, "Here you go, Mr.  Sam."

"I think you should start calling me Mr.  James," Sam said.  He sent Cage a smile.  "I'm thinking of taking Cage's last name as my married name once Cage and I are married."

This was news to Cage.  He hadn't even thought that far in advance.

Forna made a face.  "I'm going to call you what I've been calling you since you were born until you get married."  He sent Cage a dirty look and pulled the cart to his end of the table.

Sam took a big mouthful of raw meat and swallowed without chewing it completely.  "It's all up in the air right now, Forna.  There's no need to get nervous about it.  We still have to work that out.  Cage might take my last name, Woodard.  Or we might even hyphenate both of our names.  So calm yourself, my dear."

"I'm not nervous about anything," Forna said, as he set a plate of raw ground beef and a cup of coffee in front of Cage.  He turned back toward the kitchen and spoke in a low mumble.  "It doesn't matter to me what you call yourself.  I'm only the hired help around here.  You want to marry a man you just met that's fine with me.  You can call yourself Miss Dee Meanor for all I care."

Cage glanced down at the raw meat and pressed his palm to his stomach.

Sam swallowed another big forkful of meat and said, "Don't pay attention to Forna.  Miss Dee Meanor was a drag performer he once knew.  He'll get used to you, Babydoll.  He's just not used to sharing me.  It's only been Forna and me for a long time. I think he gets jealous of you sometimes."

"I understand," Cage said, trying to figure out how he would deal with this raw meat in front of him.  Since he'd met Sam and moved into the mansion he'd been introduced to a lot of peculiar foods that came from all over the world.  He didn't mind the snake meat, or bear testicles because they'd been sautéed in garlic butter.  But he'd never been fond of raw meat, especially when it was this red.

Sam noticed he wasn't eating.  "Is anything wrong?"

"This is raw."

"It's the best raw elephant meat money can buy," Sam said.  "It's good for you."

"Elephant meat?"

Sam laughed.  "I'm only joking.  I would never eat elephant.  It's only bison.  And it really is good for you…like snake meat and bison testicles.  Raw bison testicles are excellent for the blood, and taste wonderful with ranch dressing."  Sam took another forkful and swallowed.  With a trickle of blood dripping down the side of his face he said, "I love exotic meat.  I have a few huge freezers in the basement devoted to nothing but exotic meats from all over the world.  And, there's a butcher block down there, too, with a high tech grinder for the best and freshest ground meat.  I pay this one butcher very well to wrap and package the freshest kills as soon as they are delivered.  This meat is actually kind of tame, at least compared to the other meats down there."

Cage gulped.  He didn't know there were whole freezers full of that shit.  The thought of eating bison testicles and ranch dressing for the rest of his life made his stomach jump.

"I think this particular bison is very tasty, especially raw.  It's the only way to eat some exotic meat."

"Then have mine," Cage said.  "I not that hungry right now.  I insist."

As he stood up to carry his plate to the other end of the table, Sam said, "No.  It's all for you, Babydoll.  Now be a good boy and eat up."

Cage glanced down at the raw meat and forced a smile.  The monkey glared at him from the buffet table, picked up a gold ceramic pear from a fruit bowl, and hurled it across the room.  Cage looked up just in time and ducked.  The ceramic pear hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces.

Instead of scolding the monkey, Sam turned in his direction and laughed.  "Now you be a good boy, Sweetness.  We'll have no more of that.  Cage is your new gay daddy now and you be nice to him or no filet mignon for you tonight."

Cage blinked. The monkey got filet and Cage got raw bison.  Something was seriously wrong with all this.  At least the monkey created a distraction that Cage needed.  While Sam was looking at the monkey and laughing, Cage dumped his entire portion of raw men into the napkin on his lap and shoved it into the bathrobe pocket.