Friday, November 14, 2014

Love Finds You In Charm; Gay Slut-shaming; Louis Tomlinson and Gay Shame: James Franco's Album

 Love Finds You In Charm

That's actually the title of a new Amish romance film coming out, Love Finds You In Charm. And when I spotted this link on Twitter as a "teaser" on vimeo I thought I'd share it with my readers. The interesting thing about Charm...and there really is a Charm, Ohio...is that I have a few Amish friends who only live a few miles away. Most are readers who have found creative ways to read e-books in private. I actually do receive quite a few e-mails from Amish men all over the east coast who are curious about the "English" and gay life. It's always very discreet and I always learn something new.

In any event, I kept getting first hand updates while they were filming Love Finds You In Charm from a few locals in Ohio, and to be honest they aren't always fond of films like this. In fact, they often feel the same way about Amish films and books done by non-Amish the same way gay men feel about books and films done by non-gays. I really don't know enough about that to comment.

But I find most Amish films entertaining and the message behind them is all about love and romance...even though I know intellectually it's all embellished. Love Finds You In Charm might be the exception to the rule. I won't know until it's released.  I apologize to anyone Amish ahead of time if you find this offensive. My intention is not to offend you.

You can view the teaser here. It's stars Trevor Donovan, an actor who played a gay role in 90210. Trust me, you'll enjoy the video clip. It was filmed on location in Charm, Ohio and the scenery is spectacular.

Gay Slut-shaming

For anyone who doesn't know, this is what slut-shaming is in a general sense, with respect to women. The article to which I'm linking now talks about gay slut-shaming, with respect to the four worst things gay men say to shame each other.

The most obvious is "You're a Slut." This part of the piece talks about how some gay men will judge each other based on sex habits...or how much sex one might be having. I've heard it a million times in passing whenever I'm with a large group of gay men (which is why I often try not to be in large groups with gay men anymore). There's a standard, or protocol, that's set and the "gang" always seems to go along with it. Middle aged gay men of lower rent origin always change the pronouns, as in..."She's such a slut." Tony and I once parked at a beach in Provincetown and  found ourselves sitting behind two of the most vicious gay men in the world. They slut-shamed everyone on the beach so harshly, always changing the pronouns from he to she, I actually forced Tony to get up and move as far away from them as I could.

Another example talks about shaming with dating apps, and there's one that talks about shaming with the Peter Pan syndrome. They're all on target, but the number one is shaming with respect to HIV. I can tell you first hand because I've been POA for a friend with HIV that most gay men either ignore those who are HIV, or they talk behind their backs with some of the worst comments possible.

This is the big one. HIV is a significant barrier for many people who try to understand the gay community, and it accompanies the greatest stigma. Most of us probably have at least one friend or acquaintance who has HIV. Have we asked them about living with HIV? Have we asked them what it's been like? Have we asked them how they feel? This is the most terrible reason that gay guys shame one another.

We shun those who have it, we use unfortunate, misleading language when we remind others that we're "clean" in our social networking profiles, and yet we still live in a society where unsafe sex is common. How can any of us chastise an entire group of people who are HIV positive, but fail to slip on a condom ourselves? Newsflash: we are not invincible. Practise safe sex, and don't shame those who have made the mistakes we're all prone to make from time to time. The vast majority of us have at one point or another taken the same risk while being sexually active. There is an enormous disparity in the way the gay community treats those who are HIV positive.


Gay men will never ask each other how they feel, or what it's been like. If you want to see a group of middle aged gay men disappear, mention HIV. At least that's been my personal experience. It's unspoken, and I know two middle aged gay men who are HIV and they have never once discussed it openly in all the years I've known them.

You can read the rest here. It's a good article and spot on in every respect.

Louis Tomlinson and Gay Shame

After The Independent published an article about One Direction's Louis Tomlinson's alleged support for Apple's CEO Tim Cook, Tomlinson went on a full fledge Twitter rant denying he's gay because that's how he allegedly perceived the article. In his strong public denial he only came off looking as if there's something inherently wrong with being gay. It's so common for straight men to do this they don't even see it as an issue.

But Louis saw it differently, and wasn’t too pleased with the article. He took it as being called gay by The Independent, though the article never speculates his sexuality, only his support for Tim Cook.

You can read the rest here. It's not an in-depth story and I'm only posting about it because I like to create awareness about the fact that even if you aren't gay there's nothing wrong with someone thinking you are. Gay should not be synonymous with shame.

This tweet from the journalist who wrote the piece says it all:

That being called gay should never be insulting & that standing up for #LGBT rights is an admirable thing to do...

James Franco's Album

Although I reviewed (and loved) James Franco's novel, Actor's Anonymous, with five stars, I sometimes get annoyed with his attempts at self-promotion. But he's great at it...self-promotion...to the point of being a genius, and he never actually stops pushing his own personal boundaries in spite of who he might be offending. In this case he's releasing a new album, and most are claiming it's not that bad either. I actually do like it, at least from what I've listened to so far.

The almost annoyingly busy renaissance man is now coming out with an album, of course. The band is called Daddy, and in typical James Franco fashion, instead of pop beats and silly unrequited love stories, we get lyrics like, “The love life of the octopus, groping and grabbing.”

You can see a clip of the music video here. The comments are very entertaining. There's some gay slut-shaming examples at the bottom. You don't have to go too far to find these things.

The Sweetest Apple by Ryan Field
 .99 E-book












No comments: