I've been posting about this all weekend...not really planned. And I came across this next article about the negative associations that go along with being a bottom in "our" community. But there's a huge question mark all over this. In fact, the article claims that the most wonderful thing you can say about a man in "our" community is that he's a top.
This is the single biggest emotional stumbling block gay men have about bottoming -- being labeled less than a man. For many of us, bottoming isn't an opportunity to enjoy a pleasurable sexual experience but an act that threatens our sense of masculinity and the respect that goes with it. Many gay men believe that if they bottom they will become "a bottom." They fear that bottoming will create a new unwanted identity for them; that they'll become, ahem, the butt of everyone's jokes.
The piece continues talking about bottoms and being effeminate. I don't know how to comment on this one...other than the author of the article isn't all that experienced? I'm leaving a question mark there because I'm stumped. It's always been my experience that most gay men just don't talk about it at all very openly, and rightly so. Most won't say anything. It's a very private thing. I don't think most straight couples talk about it in public. And from what I've heard there are many straight relationships where the woman is often the more dominant in bed. I could go into detail but I'd rather not.
There's more here. As usual, the comments are more interesting than the article, and way more honest. This must have been one of those freebie articles Arianna Huffington has made her millions on.
Iranian Modern Family
Even though I never cared much for Modern Family I know a lot of people do and I thought this post was interesting for that reason. It seems they've come up with an Iranian version of Modern Family but with one huge difference.
Iranian TV has impressively remade American TV classic "Modern Family" essentially frame by frame -- except the frames containing the gay characters.
Called "Haft Sang" and produced by the "Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting," the stage direction, props, and sight gags are all the same. However, the gay characters, such as Mitch and Cam, have been erased from the show entirely.
Well get my smelling salts.
Is anyone really surprised? Seriously? Did anyone really think they would include a happy gay couple raising a family like the two on the American version?
You can read more here.
There's a new project about how we understand masculinity and "queer" culture. I guess they are including all of us in this because they use the word "we." And I guess they've just assumed we all embrace the word "queer" and that we don't find it as offensive as the "N" word or the "T" word (tranny).
From photographer Erik Cater comes "Be Masculine," an exploration of how we understand ourselves as physical and virtual beings conducted through portraits and interviews. The project is an attempt to start a larger conversation about what masculinity means today, and why so many gay men expect and verbalize the need for this ideal from one another.
Here's why Cater thinks this is important:
I feel this project is important because I think that by putting limitations on the idea of what is masculine, we are halting our own progression. So much is lost by essentially asking another person that if you want to share my company you need to be less gay, and that loss not only affects those that make such requests but those who receive it as well, because the temptation to give in to that character can be high.
Here's what I think:
This guy is selling a NSFW book with photos of naked men.
Huff Po is promoting his book.
"We" have enough pressure on us right now and we don't need more.
And this guy is so full of crap I'm sorry I linked to him.
But, they are good images of naked men.
You can read more here.
Chase of a Lifetime
by Ryan Field