Monday, May 12, 2014

Compersion; Clay Aiken's Rival Is Dead

Compersion

Although there aren't that many set things written about the word (concept), compersion, with a simple search you can find out all you need to know in a general sense. Most places seem to define compersion as the opposite of jealousy, where one person in a relationship is willing to share his or her lover with someone else just to experience the emotional pleasure that comes from watching his or her partner receive gratification from someone else outside of the relationship. Some consider the sexual aspects of compersion far less important than the emotional and romantic aspects. Others seem to think they are either equal or they go in one direction or the other. But what surprised me the most is that it seems to be more popular than most people would expect, even though it's still not spoken about as openly as other topics in public.

Compersion is the flip side of jealousy, or the glee of seeing one’s lover falling in love with someone else. Polys who experience compersion liken it to being happy that their partner got a part in a local theater production or was chosen employee of the month – it does not affect the person directly, but they are still happy to see their partner happy and having good things happen, regardless of the nature of those good things. If something brings joy to your partner, then it makes you happy. Practiced polys act in compersive ways like vacating the large bedroom for their partner to host a visiting lover, taking care of kids so their partners can go on dates, and treating their paramours kindly. 

You can read more here.

There's a web site here called compersion.net.

This link talks about how the experience is different for everyone.

There's even something in Urban Dictionary.

I feel compersion when I see my husband come home happy from spending time with his girlfriend. His happiness brings me happiness

I find it interesting because I'm ready to publish a new book in the Chase series and I found that by mentioning compersion it helps the reader to understand more about how the two main characters deal with their polyamorous relationship. But even they find ways to define what works out best for them. So there don't seem to be any set rules.

Clay Aiken's Rival Is Dead

I've already posted about openly gay Clay Aiken, formerly of American Idol fame, running for political office in North Carolina. This past week after people voted, both Aiken and his opponent came so close they were both awaiting a decision from election authorities to see who won. Aiken was in the lead by a small number.

Unfortunately, Aiken's opponent, 71 year old Keith Crisco, fell down on Monday afternoon at his NC home and was dead by the time paramedics arrived. Aiken issued this statement.

I am stunned and deeply saddened by Keith Crisco’s death. Keith came from humble beginnings. No matter how high he rose — to Harvard, to the white House and to the Governor’s Cabinet — he never forgot where he came from.
He was a gentleman, a good and honorable man and an extraordinary public servant. I was honored to know him.
I am suspending all campaign activities as we pray for his family and friends.


More here.

Last Wednesday Crisco announced he was not ready to concede. But I don't think this makes Aiken the automatic winner and Crisco can still win posthumously.

Unless Crisco can come from behind during a final tally of the votes this week, Aiken will be the nominee, spokesman Josh Lawson said. If Crisco does win, local Democrats would select the nominee, Lawson said. The vote is expected to be certified Thursday.




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