Tuesday, May 8, 2012

It Could Happen To You..DON'T LET IT HAPPEN

When I saw this video on youtube, I felt just like everyone else. It's sad, it's heartbreaking, and it's reality for gay couples.

But I want to make this clear: It doesn't have to happen to you. I know this from personal experience. It's not hearsay or hype. Tony was hospitalized five years ago, near death. We own businesses together and property. He has a large family, so do I. What happened in this video could have happened to us...to me especially.

But it didn't. Because we went to an attorney and we were prepared for something like this just in case it happened. We never thought it would. But it did. We had legal power of attorney papers drawn up, living wills and estate wills, and explicit instructions about what we wanted done in case of a life-altering event. We update these things yearly.

And let me tell you, it came in handy for me when Tony was hospitalized. The first thing his sisters asked was, "Where are the power of attorney papers?" I had them on file at the hospital, and kept the originals in a briefcase I took to the hospital every single day that summer just in case anyone decided to fuck with me. Without them, I would have been powerless. And I was not only in control the entire time, I remained in control and no one fucked with me, not docs, nurses, or family. When they tried once, they didn't do it a second time. And there were times when I had to be tough, trust me.

I know the video below is geared toward legalizing gay marriage, which I support fully. But I also know that the reality is gay marriage is not legal at this time and we don't know when it will be legal in the future. Until then, if you are a gay couple you need to empower yourselves as much as possible, by taking the legal steps that are necessary. It's not fun to do at any age, but whether you're younger or older, you NEED TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW. Otherwise you're going to wind up like the poor guy in the video.


Thomaidha said...

Oh my, poor guy. Such a sad, sad story. I can't even begin to imagine the pain he must have gotten through.
Thank's for sharing Ryan, again your posts are deeply touching.

ryan field said...

I hate to see anything like this happen. I hope he's okay now.

mary gresham said...

Ryan, I was on on a live chat show with a porn model earlier and we were talking about this being the number one thing to do if you are in a same sex relationship, even in states where marriage is legal. Its something that needs to be done, regardless of marriage or not, because what happens if you are in a state that does not recognize your marriage? You end up in the same boat as if you weren't married, sure, you canlie and say you are a brother or sister, but what if they want proof? So I reccommend anyone in a same sex relationship to get medical power of attorney, it is well worth the time and cost of doing it, to save someone from heartache.

ryan field said...

I try to get this point across all the time. There are legal ways to be protected. I wish we didn't have to do things like this, but for now it's all we have.