Thursday, October 20, 2011

Jamey Rodemeyer's Bullies Still At It...

I've been reading that the little fuckers who allegedly bullied Jamey Rodemeyer are still at it. I've received personal messages and e-mails from people who've read more than I have and I find it hard to believe the audacity these bullies have...and now I'm talking about all bullies across the board.

I'd like to see them try these bully tactics on the wrong person...someone like me. I was never bullied. When it looked like I was about to be bullied it only took one look from me and they backed off. I wish I could say hope and change and love will make it all better. But I personally think a good hard kick in the ass works a lot better. At least that's what kept me from being bullied.

But everyone's different, and some people are more sensitive than others. And looking the other way might work better for them than fighting back. It can also be dangerous to fight back, so I'm not advocating it. There are no easy answers, because there always have been bullies and there always will be bullies. I remember the bullies when I was in school and how they tortured certain people. When I see them pop up occasionally on facebook I take great satisfaction in seeing how they wound up: not well, trust me.

I know when we say it gets better it sounds like a cliche by now, and I understand how futile it can be to imagine it will get better when you're in the middle of being bullied. Lady Gaga said she'd talk to the President about bullying and so far I've heard nothing from either of them. The President is off on his excellent adventure traveling the country by bus and who knows where Lady Gaga is. And we all know there's nothing coming from the other side of the political spectrum from that dismal list of Republican Presidential hopefuls.

But I do know a lot of people without titles and high profile positions who are working hard to do something about the bullying problem. At the very least, there are places to go on the Internet and people to contact if you're being bullied. My friend Ryan just posted about it. You can do this anonymously in most cases. You can let it all out and no one will judge you. So if you are being bullied, at least contact someone about it before you do anything drastic. It might not solve the problem instantly, but you will feel better.

8 comments:

Portia de Moncur said...

Ryan, I was like you, NO ONE thought to bully me. And I applaud the celebrities that are speaking out against bullying. But, until the group is willing to speak out about every incident, whether it effects them directly or not, there will always be individuals who feel hopeless and alone with suicide as their only option. Keep up the good work of keeping this issue alive.

ryan field said...

I think this really hits hard with more people than we realize...even the celebs who are speaking up about it. But it's really a group effort and I believe all the little things we all do make a huge difference.

Louisa Bacio said...

Attitude can say a lot. I've always been petite, 5'4", but in high school I started sticking up for others being bullied, and they backed down. Seeing the biggest bully "friend" me on FB, and how she's (not) doing is satisfying.

But, what you said about getting better is so true. Those years of feeling like you don't fit in pass by and then you start to be proud to be your own person. Bullying should NOT exist; however, we also can make it not bother us. Those who unfortunately commit suicide because of bullies are so sad. They leave behind so much, and that makes the bully win. Reach out for help. Talk to someone else. Move schools. Anything. And know you're not alone.

At the college I teach, they are doing "safe space" training for GLBT students to talk to professors. That's a good start. And next time I'm asked what conference I'm going to and I say GayRomLit maybe the other -- old -- professor won't laugh. (I just gave him a bad look and he swallowed it.)

ryan field said...

Thanks for commenting. The "safe space" training sounds interesting.

Ryan said...

another awesome post bro more people need to speak up about this the more we get talking about it the more something may be done we just cant talk about it when something happens and someone dies. we need to talk about it everyday!

love the new layout too!

mary gresham said...

It does get better, I've told most of you before about my oldest son. Yes he was bullied, mostly with words. No one ever got physical because although he was a very small kid, his best fried scared most of the bullies to death because he was a really big kid, like about 2 and a half feet taller than most and way bigger around than anyone else in school. Randell rose above all the crap he took from elementary on up to graduation. He never let them get to him. Yes, I know that didn't stop the hurt, but he was better than all the bullies put together. Now, while a lot of them have been in trouble with the law and some even dead from drug overdoses, he has been happily married for oever ayear and owns his own home. There are very few of his classmates who can say that. So, it does get better.
And Ryan, for the record, I agree about fighting back. I was picked on in school also, not nearly to the extent Randell was, but the moment I stood up for myself and knocked the boy backwards out of his desk, I was never messed with again by anyone, most were proud of me, especially seeing I weighed maybe 75 lbs and this boy was a lot bigger. I just got tired of it and showed all that I was capable of taking up for myself. And, I'm sure, if it had come down to it and not been more than a couple of kids doing it, Randell would have been able to take care of himself, but with Beaux around, he never needed to.

jimm said...

Good post! Maybe someone could establish a website listing books (like Green Room) that lead gay and straight youngsters away from suicide.

ryan field said...

That's a good idea!!