Monday, June 8, 2009

Facebook Friends...and De-Friending

In the past year, I've signed up with twitter, facebook and a few other networking sites. I do it to promote books, keep in touch with friends and family, and see what other people in publishing are doing. I personally don't limit any of these sites to just the publishing industry. I'm curious about everyone out there, especially on facebook and twitter. I recently "friended" someone I knew through old friends, and I'm enjoying all their posts. I love reading about what my nephews and nieces are doing (Katie...John Michael...etc...) And my blogging buddy, Ryan Stratton, always makes me smile on facebook.

So sites like facebook cover a lot of ground for me. And I'm learning. So if I haven't asked to be friends with someone, please consider me a facebook idiot, and don't take it personally. Same thing with twitter following. I accept all friend requests all the time and if you are following me on twitter, I'll usually follow you back. And I would never defriend or stop following someone on purpose. It's just something I would not do.

And there's a reason for this. Up until a week or so ago, I was reading facebook posts by an editor I've worked with for a long time. I've always liked him so much I was willing to do anything to please him. If he said, "Make this change," I'd do it even if I didn't agree. I loved being in his books, and loved the things he'd written himself. And so I was following him on facebook, enjoying all his posts, too.

And then one morning a week ago, I noticed his facebook posts had all disappeared from my homepage. I figured he was busy and not posting. But by the end of the week I started to wonder. So I searched his name, checked his profile, and found that he'd actually removed me from his friends list. Then I triple checked to make sure I hadn't made a mistake. But sure enough, he'd wiped me off his list for no apparent reason.

I know I should have thicker skin. I get reviewed all the time and I rarely care what they say. I'm used to taking the good with the bad. But this really bothered me. Here I was thinking we were "friends," enjoying all his posts, and he knocked me off his friends list without giving it a second thought.

I'll get over it, but I know one thing for sure. I will never, ever remove anyone from my friend list, on anything, unless I contact them first and tell them why I'm doing it. And if I haven't friended someone on facebook or I'm not following them on twitter, please understand it's just my own stupidity and I will do it as soon as I figure out I haven't done it.

3 comments:

Dana Fredsti said...

A lot of people don't have your sense of empathy or courtesy, Ryan.

ryan field said...

And I've been hearing that it happens a lot, too. And the people taken off the friend list don't even know why.

Ryan said...

u know i love ya we been friends like forever dont worry about what others say either (your email yesterday) when there talkin bout u there leaving someone else alone like me haha!

kisses